274 The Meaning of Silence

[Alevian's Perspective]

The setting sun shined it's last rays of brilliance as it disappeared at the western horizon. However, a few slivers of sunlight still lingered about, dyeing the horizon sky a soothing hue of light purple that is in the dimensions between an orange and dark purple. That few slivers of sunlight is not enough to provide adequate illumination to light up the road before me, but luckily, there were plenty of street lights that shined light down onto the sidewalk. Besides, I am almost back to the house, so it really doesn't matter whether or not there is still plenty of sunlight or what.

I haven't jogged like this for a while, but oddly enough, I did not perspire much, maybe due to the cool ocean breezes blowing into my face and maybe due to the fact that I was pacing myself to go at a comfortable pace. When I finally arrived back at the front entrance of the house, all visible signs of fatigue were simply me breathing deeply for air.

Slowly, I brought my hand to the door knob, and that was when I realized that I do not possess the keys to enter this house. If this door is locked, then...I'll just have to go in through the back door. There is bound to be some place that is unlocked. Luckily for me, it didn't come to that situation as the front door was not locked. I do not know whether or not it was simply out of negligence or whether Erith deemed it unnecessary, but whatever the case may be, I am simply grateful that it occurred.

I opened the door softly and looked into the dark entrance of the house. None of the lights were on, and the house was also eerily silent. It's almost as if no one is present. However, I know for a fact that is not true. There is not even the possibility that Erith would leave the house as Erith does not appear to be in the mood for that. Therefore, she must be somewhere as she remained a resident of this...gloominess.

I closed the door behind me, and surveyed the house in search of her lone figure. There was enough light in the house due to the moonlight shining in from the many windows and my eyes quickly adjusted to this low-light environment, making it so that I was able to see somewhat. I first glanced over at the living room, and after seeing that it was vacant, I took a few steps further into the house, looking around. Then...that was when I finally found her.

A gentle breeze blew in from the opened sliding glass doors that was originally concealed by the curtains, but this breeze lifted the curtains just enough for me to see her lone figure sitting outside on one of the stone benches, leaning back somewhat while using both arms to prop herself up and support her weight on the bench in the backyard the overlooked the glistening ocean.

My breathing had returned to a normal level now and so did my rapidly palpitating heart. Slowly, I walked over towards the opened sliding glass doors that led into the backyard, careful to not startle her with my sudden presence.

However, she must have heard my footsteps as she turned and looked over her shoulder at me. Her gaze was rather...sullen and almost a bit sleepy in appearance. She did not cry, and I know that because there were no bags under her eyes nor were her eyes bloodshot. Therefore, she must have been holding everything in within herself and allowing it all to spill out little by little.

"Why are you here?" she muttered as she turned her gaze back to focus on the silvery glistening ocean before us.

"Is there a reason that I shouldn't be here right now?" I asked as I walked over and sat down next to her.

"Aren't you going to the fireworks festival with the others by the pier?"

"Nope," I responded. "I'm not in the mood to be squeezing through crowds of people right now..."

"Sure seems like something you would say," she said. Her voice lacked its usual vigor and piercing nature.

"You're...trying to hide something, right?" I turned my head slightly to face her. "Something...about Luna and Zevin."

"You either have a wild imagination or you just think to much," she said, tucking her smooth legs up against her chest as she hugged onto them and rested her chin on her kneecaps.

"No," I shook my head. "It's neither of those. I just know you."

"Know me?" she chuckled in a doubting manner. "Like any of you other than Luna would? You don't even know what major I am in col—"

"Computer Science," I immediately responded, not giving her time to conclude her sentence.

She turned her head and looked at me with a look of surprise. Her eyes were somewhat widened from shock, and her lips were somewhat parted as well.

"I got that right?" I grinned somewhat as I gazed into her surprised eyes. "When you came to my room with the others," I started explaining, "you commented on my PC. And you wanted to sit on my computer chair."

"Just from that?" Erith shook her head and eyed me with doubt.

"It's not only just that," I said as I turned my head and gazed at the moon. "You commenting on my PC and stuff only gave me some doubts. But...when I was talking to Zevin earlier while on this trip, I confirmed it."

"Huh?"

"He said you weren't like this back in middle school," I said. "That you were more on the nerdy side."

"..."

She remained silent, and when I glanced over at her from the corner of my eye, I could see that she was listening to what I have to say. Therefore, I continued.

"You...you had a crush on Zevin, right?" I confirmed with her. "That's why you changed your appearance and behavior. It's because you saw that he was attracted to Luna and her personality. You wanted to become someone like Luna, but not entirely like her. That's how it led to this Erith sitting next to me right now. You didn't go with us to the festival because...it hurts to much?"

She remained silent as she took in my words, and I gave her all the time she needed to process my speech. Right now, everything is about her, so...there really is no point in me rushing.

"You're awfully nosy, you know?" she finally said accompanied with a long sighed as she buried her face even lower, concealing it. "Yeah," she finally admitted to it. "I was...just going to end that crush tonight."

"How are you gonna do that?"

"I don't know," she said in a confused and melancholic manner. "I don't know... But," she looked up at the sky with a lonely smile on her face. "I'll...somehow manage."

I gazed at her and remained silent. I am not the expert in relationship issues like these, so the most that I could do is simply sit here and listen as I stare at her.

"I should've known that...this will be the ending. His heart was never attracted to me, and from the start, it has been attracted towards Luna's," Erith softly whispered. "I had thought that...the relationship between the three of us...it wouldn't change. But...I still made my changes in the transition from middle school to high school. I...I just feel like that I am constantly losing to Luna. But even after I focused more on my appearance, my behavior, she still won over me. Alevian, am I just a loser?"

She turned and gazed at me with her eyes glistening from tears as they reflected the moonlight. There was an almost...begging atmosphere to her countenance while she gazed at me. Her lips trembled somewhat, but that was simply the extent that it went to. It is not like her to weep, and I never expected her to weep. But...I suppose everyone has a weak side, and Erith is no different.

"I don't think so," I said, meeting her gaze. "You're brave. You withstood the torments of knowing that the person you are attracted to is in a relationship with your best friend. You also did your best to hold your friendships together, not allowing everything to become awkward. In the end, you sacrificed yourself for everyone. I wouldn't say you are a loser, but instead, I would probably consider you to be...to be stupid."

"Stupid...huh?" she lowered her head and buried them in her knees once again as she hugged on tightly to her legs that she tucked against her chest. "I guess I am stupid... In the end, I am only doing this because I want someplace that I can fit in...Without them, I would have nobody..."

She let out a soft sigh, and as she did so, I simply turned my head away and gaze over at the distant sky. The fireworks had started as they lit up the nighttime sky with brilliant displays and flashes of colors. Yet, because they were so distant, the sound of the fireworks were muffled by the sound of waves from the nearby beach.

"Hey," she said, as she gazed over at me and grabbed hold of my shirt sleeve with one hand. "In situations like these aren't you suppose to say something about you being here for me?"

"Am I?"

I turned my gaze toward her and realized that her face was rather close to mine as she pulled me towards her while she leaned towards me ever so slightly. Our distance...it was one that I could see clearly how clear her eyes and irises were, how...seductive her lips were, and how nice her fragrance smelled as it satisfied the olfaction.

"I know you're stupid and all, but at least go along with what I am saying," she said in a hushed voice as she rested her head on my shoulder. "At least for now..."

I allowed her to use my shoulder as a temporary support and simply let her be. Slowly, I turned my gaze over at the horizon once again and took in the beautiful fireworks that bloomed as if flora in the sky. For some reason, the silence of those fireworks is awfully fitting for this...situation that we are in.