171 Poem

I stared at her with a grim expression on my pale face. That joyful feeling from before has abandoned me, leaving my mind an empty shell with nothing to fill it up except that awful feeling of emptiness. As I awkwardly stood there, I seemed to have forgotten the reason for my visit. There's just this weird feeling within me keeping me static, trapping my body in that location.

"You mind waiting for a second?" Luna asked as she ran her fingers through her hair and used a comb to straighten and tidy it after whatever had occurred earlier. Her voice appeared quite cold, but there appeared to be some signs of sadness mixed within it. It was such a minuscule amount that I might've just been mistaken.

"..." I didn't respond to her. Instead, I stood there in silence and looking away from her. Even though I was simply staring at the floor, the sight of her wearing that lingerie that I had purchased for her still lingered.

"I'm done," she said.

When I looked over, I saw that she had indeed finished combing her hair as it was now straight like it usually was. In addition, her sick gown was properly worn, concealing her stomach as well as the front view of her chest that was concealed by that bra I had bought her. On her face was a cold expression. She didn't look over at me. Instead, she kept her eyes trained on the screen of her phone.

"So," she said without moving her eyes off of her phone. "What is it?"

"I...I just wanted to tell you that um..." I paused and looked down at the floor, feeling something within me, especially in my throat, that made it impossible for me to continue speaking. It was only when I reconditioned my mind and took a deep breath that I could finally finish. "The thing between Irina and I...it's fixed now."

"That's good," she simply responded.

I looked up at her, taking in that mysterious and sudden cold attitude that she was directing towards me. It was rather...unsettling to experience that from her. It was as if she's suddenly a different person now. It was as if the Luna that I had known never existed. It was puzzling to me as to what might've caused that girl who would smile in such a bright and charming manner to become so cold in demeanor. This wasn't the cold that Muria exhibited. Rather, it was more of a repulsing cold, one that's as if trying to drive away anyone who dared to attempt to approach her.

"I..." I muttered. "I think I'll head home now..."

"Is that so?" She softly sighed. For the first time that day, she put down her phone on the open spot on the bed beside her and looked over at me. She rested both hands atop her kneecap and leaned her head forward until it laid on top of her hands.

I met her eyes, feeling an uneasy feeling that seemed to be trying to drive me away. It made me avert my gaze out of discomfort, and gradually, I started backing out of the room. Without saying anything else, I slid close the door. Maybe it was simply my imagination, but I believe I saw a smile on her face as I was closing the door. Whatever the case may be, when the door was closed, I realized that my legs were weak as I slowly slipped down towards the ground until I was on my knees and my forehead pressed against the wooden door.

After a short while, a nurse came by, inquiring if I was feeling alright. Instead of responding to her question, I simply forced myself up from the ground and went on my way towards the elevators. My mind felt heavy as the emptiness gradually developed into a mass and gained a weight of their own, weighing me down. In addition, that same bitter taste returned back to my mouth.

I walked out of the hospital, leaving it behind and simply made my way over to the train station in an almost robotlike manner. With my mind occupied by emptiness, I passed through the ticket gates and boarded a train that would take me back to Lumina and back home.

When I finally got home, the sun had almost set completely, leaving behind only a few traces of sunlight in the sky that was transitioning from an orangish-cyan to a light purple to a darker shade of purple. Stars dotted the already-dark portions of the nighttime sky and the celestial moon that appeared as if it was framed in the sky simply stared down at me.

Back at home, I felt somewhat uneasy. But surprisingly though, I felt oddly calm. I leaned back on my computer chair with my head against the backrest. Then, a soft laughter escaped from my throat. I do not understand why I was laughing, but I couldn't stop myself. However, I have a possible idea as to what the laugh was for. It was a mocking laughter, that I was subconsciously using on myself.

It wasn't long before the laughing stopped, leaving me sitting on my comfortable computer chair and spinning side to side slightly using my feet to apply a rotational force on the ground. Before me, the monitor to my PC was on, illuminating my face with its large, bright monitor. I stared at it in response, feeling discomfort in my eyes as the brightness pained them. In response to this, I simply closed my eyes and continued to sit there.

"I still have to do homework," I muttered to myself, trying my best to distract my mind from whatever that had happened that day.

Slowly, I reached for my school bag, grabbing it and pulling it onto my lap. Then, I opened my eyes and retrieved my homework notebook from within it. Even though I don't usually focus much on homework, I would always complete it to not create a scene in class. However, I would simply only do enough and never did I spend plenty of time on them. But tonight... I suppose it might be different.

For the first time in a long time, I opened the literature book that us students were given for homework. I then checked online for the assignment and saw that Mura had assigned for us to read a poem and write an analysis on it. I really do not understand analyzing poems. Like seriously, is there even a point to it? But being the bored individual that was also trying to escape from something, I opened the book and did as I was told.

I flipped to the page that the poem was on and started reading it. This poem was written by someone seven hundred years ago, and it would appear to be a... love poem? I do not understand its meaning though. Maybe that's why literature is so difficult for me because unlike the other subjects where there's only one right answer, in literature, you have to identify what the other might be saying and analyze it or something. That makes it more difficult.

What your true intents are, I do not know

But maybe in love, it's wise to let go.

Those were the ending lines to the poem and the main indicator that the poem was about love. After reading through it one more time, I discovered that it was indeed about love.

-----

[The Human Tragedy]

Difficulties lie

In the human mind.

Forever they roam

In the sealed, enclosed dome.

Torturing one another

For the sake of the other.

Don't cry my dear,

Life's always unfair.

Just keep walking,

And please keep talking.

In your words, I'm alive,

In your words, I'll die.

What your true intents are, I do not know.

But maybe in love, it's wise to let go.

-----

To be fair, this was one of the simpler poems in the textbook. In addition, I sort of understand the emotion that the author was trying to convey, but when asked to write it down in words, that's when I struggle the most. Therefore, the only way for me to write down an analysis is to just keep going over it until I find something to bullshit about.

So the poem is basically about these "difficulties" in the human mind and how people roam in this sealed and enclosed dome. Since this poem is about love, so I assume that the difficulties referred to is love itself. Then the enclosed dome...like a coliseum? Torturing the other for the sake of the other...I guess it refers to how love is basically two people seeing who could hurt the other the most. The next part about not crying...I suppose it's about how not every love can come to fruition? And when one walks, that means they're moving forward, but when they keep talking, then they keep the other person alive in their minds. So that's why the next line is about being alive in the words and also being dead since the love will be alive in a way but dead as it will never occur. Finally, the last two lines... Sometimes in love, it's really the best to simply let go...

Wait a minute...

***

The next day at school, I looked over at Loyd, seeing if there was anything unusual about him. Based off of my observations, nothing about him as changed. Nothing seemed to be bothering him aside from a slight confusion that lingered in the depths of his mind. I wasn't entirely certain what that confusion was for.

Like I had suspected, it would appear that he's going to see Luna again after class. Unlike the day before where I had to stay behind and talk to Irina, I decided to follow him. I kept at a certain distance so he wouldn't notice and followed him all the way to the hospital. Then, it was simply a journey to Luna's hospital room that was left.

I took the elevator after him and rode up to the level that Luna's room was located on. Then, I slowly walked down the hall and towards her room. When I finally arrived before the closed door to her room, I took a deep breath and slowly leaned my head toward the door.

"So can you tell me why you're having me act that way yesterday?" I heard Loyd's voice say to Luna.