277 Interlude

The passing days soon became weeks, and these weeks soon gradually turned into months, but it is during the time that had passed, I celebrated my eighteenth birthday. I didn't anticipate for a celebration at all, but...the others didn't allow it to be passed. Although it was relatively simple, with the occasion being held at my house, everybody was present. Luna and Erith both took time out of their day to stop by, with Zevin even pitching in to purchase me a gift. In fact, the whole occasion was actually spearheaded by Luna and Irina.

I suppose they value my birthday because it was also shared by Alvelyn, who I see as the one that is more...recognized out of the two of us due to her being rather well-mixed with Muria and Irina as well as having a rather decent relationship with both Luna and Erith. As for her relationship with the boys, I suppose the difference in gender altered the behavior of them somewhat as Zaksus and Noah treated her with greater gentleness and less savagery versus when interacting with me. As for Loyd, his interactions with me can only be characterized with familiarity. That familiarity somewhat applies to Alvelyn, and although Alvelyn never really gave him a response, he has simply kept that incident sealed, not bringing it up at all...

Whatever the case may be, my eighteenth birthday was...rather lively as a result. In fact, it is the most lively celebration I have had as all of my previous birthdays were spent with Loriana, sometimes even by myself. Although I suppose back when I was still living with my parents they celebrated my birthday for me, but just thinking that my mother was also present made me want to belch. Everything about her just disgust me. In fact, just the thought of myself sharing her blood made me disdain myself. Sometimes, when I see Alvelyn, the similarities between her and my mother really cause me to want to dissociate with her and run as far away as possible. But...I didn't do that.

For Alvelyn, she shares the same emotions I have for my mother. Therefore, it must be even more difficult for her to wake up every morning and see her great resemblance to our mother. Therefore, if I were to run away, then she will literally have no one left in this world. That is why I cannot hide myself from Alvelyn. If you cannot even count on yourself, then there really is no one left.

As the winter season neared, we really don't have much to do anymore except for preparing for the end of year final exams and the college entrance exam for Nocsinis Imperial University. Although the others seemed to take their preparations rather seriously, I often lack the desire to study. To be fair, I do not know what I want to do in my life and do not even know what I want to major in. I just feel as if I am simply stagnant with my life.

Maybe it is because my desire to enact revenge on my mother posed to be an obstacle, but I am doing nothing to remove this obstacle. I...I am simply a liar. I really do not know what I want in life, and maybe I am only keeping that incident about my mother as an excuse for not knowing. It's just...I don't know. I just don't know what I want to do. I've never really developed much of an interest in anything.

Looking at the others...the difference between myself and the others are becoming more and more evident. Currently, Luna is in college studying fashion design while Erith is furthering herself in the field of computer science, and Loyd is currently preparing for his future major in law. As for the others, they seemed to have everything set up. Irina is a celebrity and will continue being one. Zaksus has already received offers from professional teams to work out for them and would definitely be a top pick in the next VBA Draft; Zaksus has also invited Noah to become his agent, so those two have things set up already. As for Muria, she will always have something to do since her family background is one of the biggest corporation group in the entire Empire and one of the largest in the world. So, that simply leaves Alvelyn and myself wondering about what we would be doing post high school.

I've talked to Alvelyn about this, and...it would appear that she is in the same situation as myself. Progress in our talks has also been near impossible to achieve as discussing things with yourself really isn't considered a "discussion". What we talked about isn't anything that I didn't know already, so...no advancement in our decision has been made.

My future is simply...murky and clouded by a thick and viscous fog that is impossible for light to penetrate with its oddly high index of refraction. I cannot see anything, even the fingers I hold before my face. Yet, time will not wait for me to think things through and continued to flow. With that sense of uncertainty in my mind, when I realized it, Spring Break had already gone by with graduation only a month away.

With the school year now in its final stretch, I am still stagnant in my own pursuit. Yet, that does not mean the time that had went by was wasted. During the Winter tournament for high school basketball, I was forced to participate as the starting shooting guard for my school's basketball team. The reason for this was that during one of the days the girls decided to go shopping, Zaksus invited Loyd, Noah, and I to the basketball gym to partake in some skirmish matches while the new players are being assessed by the coaching staff. Apparently, the coaches took a particular fancy to my playstyle.

Zaksus's natural position was point guard, but last year's best lineup shifted him to shooting guard. However, with last year's point guard graduating and last year's backup shooting guard also graduating, Zaksus is able to shift back to his natural position but that still left a hole in the starting spot to be filled. Apparently, Zaksus had informed the coach about me, and...this was somewhat of a ruse for me to join the team.

I felt rather uncomfortable being tricked into joining the team, but I have to say I had fun. Besides, I didn't have to do much as the primary ball-handling responsibilities fell onto Zaksus with me simply being a shooter. Zaksus was still the MVP of the team, and he won that reward during the high school tournament after our school won first place in the entire Empire.

Then there is the incident with Loyd and this small local gang that was trying to merge with one of the bigger gangs in Palisia. It must have been particularly difficult for Loyd during those days, but...things should be turning for the better now. That gang is busted thanks to Noah and my efforts, and we were able to be kept anonymous from the police.

All in all, I wouldn't say that the last year of high school is a waste of time. But...I have yet to truly figure out what I want to do with my life, and...time is ticking by fast...

Author's Notes:

A rather odd and abrupt time skip here, but this is because I want to push the story to the post-high school part of the story. I would personally say that part is what I want to write the most and think is the most interesting. That is why I want to try and start writing those chapters before I decide to stop writing come June.

Although these arcs are skipped, they still occurred and are canon to the story.

Cut Content:

Blood, Sweat, and Tears: Alevian joining the basketball team. Alevian learns about Zaksus's resolves to become a professional athlete in order to help his single mother retire from her long days of work at the small flower shop she earns. Alevian and Zaksus's friendship deepened as Alevian and Zaksus will their team to the national championship.

Gangs of Palisia: Alevian and Noah are forced to take down a local gang that Loyd formerly belonged to in order to rescue Loyd's younger sister that was being used by a sex slave. This arc explores what happened to Loyd when he moved and prior to him transferring to the high school Alevian attends.

This arc is where Alevian and Noah's friendship strengthen and he welcomes back Loyd back truly into his circle.