180 Divine Intervention

Tears streamed down the side of my face as the writing on her diary blurred. With great care, I moved the diary further away from me in fear that it would be ruined by my tears and set it gently on the surface of my bed next to me. Then, I buried my face in my hands as my body trembled.

My breathing was at an abnormal pace as I felt a suffocating feeling within me, almost as if someone was choking me by my throat yet there was no one actually doing so. Instead, it was the sense of guilt within me that triggered this suffocating feeling. It's the knowledge that I was unable to do anything for her that made me feel ill.

"I was supposed to be the companion to her until she dies," I bemoaned in a voice that strained my throat. "But in the end, I didn't do shit. What the hell was the point of it all? I couldn't do anything! Why the hell did I just assume that what I was doing was correct?"

For the first time, I truly realize that my existence was pointless. I wasn't able to soothe any of her fears of death, unable to accompany her until the very end. I'm simply a failure, someone whose crimes could hardly be forgiven. Yet, she still forgave me at the very end. But...I cannot forgive myself. I had failed her, caused her unnecessary suffering, and made things even more difficult for both of us. I am the reason for her pain, and it is also myself that I have to blame for all of these melancholic emotions that I had experienced. It's all because of me, this good-for-nothing scum, a waste of skin.

"A bit harsh on yourself, don't you think?" a familiar voice commented as the owner of the voice stood over me.

"It's...rather difficult for him," another voice added in.

"And it had to come to this," another voice sighed.

Looking up, I saw that the owners of the voices were Ralus, Noah, and Emilia, the three angels of God. Noah looked over at me with a frown on his face, yet he remained silent and the most distant from my location. Then there was Ralus and Emilia, one standing on my left and the other standing on my right before me.

"That wasn't the reaction that I anticipated," Emilia commented.

"When have you become so cold?" Ralus muttered as he shook his head. He then knelt down before me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Do you regret anything?"

I looked him in his different colored eyes for a brief moment. In his eyes, I could sense great power, yet I am unable to truly read what he was thinking. However, there really isn't much that I cared about anymore. It's come to the point that everything is basically whatever as long as it does not threaten my life. Therefore, I nodded. It's shocking how primitive these emotions of guilt could render one to be.

"Ralus!" Emilia tensed up as her eyes widened while she stared at Ralus in shock. "What're you doing?"

"You would've known if you were still you," Ralus muttered and smiled in a lonely and depressed manner before he shook his head slightly and returned to the conversation he had with me. "Do you think that it's unfair?"

"Ralus!" I could sense an increase in hostility in Emilia as her voice became more and more threatening and imbued with power. "You must stop this at once. You cannot do this."

"Why can't I?" Ralus asked as he slowly rose to his full height.

"It goes against our orders," Emilia answered. "And it goes against the nature of this world." She paused and gazed at Ralus's lonely back before she continued. "There are billions of humans in this world, and they all suffer from grief, remorse, and guilt. He must not receive special treatment in those regards."

"So what?" Ralus slowly looked over his shoulder at Emilia. On his face was still the same depressed and lonely countenance he had exhibited. It was rather odd to see him like this, but I could sense that this emotion from him was genuine. "He is special. Emilia, you know it, I know it, and even Noah knows it."

Slowly, Noah lowered his chin as he gazed at the ground.

"None of this should've happened to him," Ralus sighed. "It was all because of us, all because of this restraint that is placed upon us by the Almighty."

The three angels remained silent as Ralus's words seemed to echo in the room. I was oblivious as to what they were talking about, but I am simply too grief-stricken to care about it. It must simply be some divine circumstances that mortals like me could not understand, so why should I even bother looking into it? There's not much out there in this bland, colorless world for me.

"You have a problem with me?"

A powerful voice echoed in the room, and all of a sudden a white portal of some sort appeared against the wall of my room and a familiar figure with chilling blue eyes and white hair stepped out of it. Between his lips, there was a lit cigarette as the divine figure slowly emerged from the portal and stepped foot into my room, bringing with him the almighty aura that exerted a suffocating amount of pressure on me such that it made the air difficult to breathe. At that moment, my body's primordial instincts kicked into full alert mode as it notified me repeatedly over and over again that this figure that had just appeared before me is the most powerful entity in this world as he is our creator.

"It's enough already, isn't it?" Ralus forced out despite the intense pressure that God exerted in the room. "All the suffering, it's enough punishment."

"You say that," God sighed as he removed the cigarette from his mouth with two fingers in his right hand and puffed out the smoke. "But that isn't something that you can decide on. It's also not something that I can decide on. It's only when it is shown in him that it truly is enough."

"It won't ever show in him," Ralus slowly straightened his back. "As long as he is who he is, it will never change. No matter how many times you try and change him, he will remain him."

"..." God gazed at Ralus in a calculating and observing manner as if trying to take in what the angel was thinking.

"Then how about we make a bet," Ralus suggested.

"...I suppose we can," God sighed. "But what if you lose?"

"I'm willing to be punished the same way 'he' has been," Ralus responded, smiling in a forced manner as he tried to stand his ground against the almighty creator.

For a brief second, I could see that Emilia was visibly shaken by Ralus's suggestion. Standing not too far from this scene was Noah, and he too appeared disturbed as on his face was a worried expression.

"Fine," God responded after considering Ralus's suggestion for a brief moment. Then, God slipped his hand into his pocket and retrieved what appeared to be a smartphone. Then, he called someone. "Come here right now." He said into the phone before hanging up and slipping the device into his pockets.

A few seconds later, a black portal appeared against the wall, and from it emerged a divine entity that I've recently seen. However, it wasn't someone who I had seen in person. Rather, it was in a large painting at a funeral.

"What is it?" The Goddess of Death yawned as she stepped foot into my room. She surveyed the room, taking in the situation involving the three angels and God. Then, her eyes focused on me and she frowned when she saw me. There was a slight oddity in her behavior, yet that wasn't something that I could comprehend.

"Alevian," Ralus looked over at me and smiled in a difficult manner. "Here we have an opportunity for you. To enter the Underworld and retrieve her soul."

My attention was peaked at Ralus's words, causing me to look over at him with widened eyes. My mind was still unable to fully comprehend what he was suggesting, but I have a vague idea as to what it was, and based off of this superficial understanding of his suggestion, I could already form a decision on the issue.

"If you're willing," Ralus continued, "you may resurrect her."

"But there's a catch to this," God added.

"Right," Ralus nodded and frowned. "The Underworld is filled with the souls of all of the dead, human and nonhuman. And, you only have ten minutes in there before your existence also fades from this world."

"And if you choose to do so," God added in a calm demeanor. "You may not leave before you find her."

My heart suddenly trembled at the mention of the consequences of failure and my instincts warned me to stay away. Every single cell in my body protested even the notion of risking my life, making me consider rejecting the offer. It's just what thousands of years of experience had engrained into the human genome: survive at all costs. I was afraid of even imaging what might happen if I were unable to find Luna's soul. The fear of this unknown location populated with the dead made me want to run away and simply forget about it all.

However, the ability to counter this fear is what made humanity human. It's only natural to want to survive. It's a behavior ingrained in human history. But, it is the willingness to sacrifice that had built civilization. Human history isn't merely built on survival, but also on sacrifices. Many sacrificed themselves so that loved ones could continue on, and that is a behavior that separates the noblest of humans from the rest and from wild beasts.

"I wouldn't do it if I were you," the Goddess of Death, Endirith said in a warning manner as she frowned, her beautiful blue eyes pierced into my soul. "The Underworld is no place for mortals. I wouldn't take this risk. It's simply foolish."

Her words were tempting, yet it had no effect on me. I had already made up my mind on the issue. It's something that I will not change.

"I'll do it," I said as I rose to my full height with a great resolve in my chest.

A frown appeared on Endirith's face moments before she sighed and shook her head.

"Don't say that I didn't warn you," she said in a cold manner as she started walking towards the portal that she had emerged from. "Follow me."

I obeyed her orders and started walking after her. However, the two of us was abruptly stopped by an authoritative voice that drew our attention and forced us to halt in our steps.

"Wait," God said as he gazed at the Goddess of Death with observing and cautious eyes. "You remember what happened last time, right? Don't try anything."

Endirith met God's eyes as she looked over her shoulders at him for a brief moment before she frowned and let out a sigh. "I understand, my dear brother."

After giving her simple response, she started walking towards the portal once again, and for a brief moment, she appeared to be in a quite melancholic mood as her figure seemed to be filled with an unknown and ambiguous sense of loneliness.