113 Bitter Sweet

I exited the bathroom with a confused expression on my face. In my mind, I replayed the encounter with Ralus, listening to what he had said to me. I wondered what it was that he was going to tell me but changed his mind... However, that could be saved for later as Luna was still waiting for me.

She was sitting on her bed now dressed in a light autumn outfit: a navy blue button up coat along with a pair of skirts as well as boots. It appeared to fit her perfectly as the outfit made her appear quite mature yet playful at the same time. With a smile on her face, she approached me, throwing herself into my embrace once again with a content smile on her face.

"What do you want to do for the day?" I asked her for the day's plans.

"Maybe a walk through the city?" she suggested. "But as long as you're there."

"Well..." I rubbed the back of my head out of embarrassment as I looked away. "Let's start walking around outside then. We can figure out where we want to go later."

The two of us then exited her hotel room, allowing the door to automatically lock. As she held onto my hand while we walked over to the elevator, I realized that she didn't ask me about why I was at her room yesterday or how I even got in. Maybe she had forgot about that fact already, or it just didn't mean much to her anymore. If I had to guess, I believe it would be the latter.

It was around 8:00 A.M. when we left the hotel lobby and stepped foot on the streets of Saroff. It was pretty chilly, but nothing to big of a deal as our clothing protected us from the cold. I looked around the city for briefly in search of somewhere we could sit down for breakfast, and that was when I discovered a cafe nearby the train station. Thus, that was to be the site where we have our morning meal.

Entering the cafe, we were greeted with a warm air that eroded the cold that our bodies felt, granting us a comfortable warmth. We were led to a window-side booth by the waitress, and once we sat down, we ordered our food. I asked for a simple sandwich and some tea, and as for Luna, her preference was more vegetable based in a chicken salad.

"Would that be all?" the waitress asked.

"Yeah," Luna smiled as she handed her the menu.

"Wait," I said. "Let me also add two cheesecakes."

"Of course," the waitress said as she entered in the order into her tablet before she left the table with out menus.

After the waitress left us alone, I heard a soft chuckle coming from Luna. Looking over, I saw on her face a happy smile that perplexed me. I wasn't certain what it was for, so I decided to inquire her about it.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said, smiling happily at me. "It's just that you would order a cheesecake..."

"You're the one that said you like cheesecakes." I shook my head.

"I know," she laughed. Then, her facial expression relaxed as she gazed into my eyes. "Thank you, Alevian."

She was sitting opposite of me at the moment with an elbow against the table as she supported her face with one hand. She gazed out the window and at the city outside. What she was thinking of, I do not know, but from her facial expression, I could tell that her mood must be extremely stable and content.

She seemed to have returned to the Luna that I was accustomed with, making the Luna that I had seen last night appear almost as if it was merely an illusion. However, I wasn't sure whether or not that Luna was the real Luna. What if this girl that sat before me was simply one of the facades that she erected with her medications? Then, a shivering fear flashed through my mind as I recalled what she was like without her medications. Her body was rendered extremely weak and her skin a deathly white color. Without her medicine, she's merely a shell of herself. The spirit of this lively girl cannot possibly live in that frail frame without feeling the pain of the fetters. It is this knowledge of her sufferings that made my heart ache, causing that bitterness to once again arise in my heart.

I suddenly feel a warmth approach me from my left, and when I looked over, I discovered that Luna had sat down next to me, abandoning her spot before me. Her face was extremely close to mine to the point that I could hear and feel her gentle breathing as it brushed against my face. With her, she brought along a pleasant smell, one that made me want to bring her into my embrace and simply never let go. However, that cannot be the case...

She reached her right hand for my left, clasping her hand together with mine. Then, she leaned her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes while a relaxed smile shined on her face. Then, there was nothing else. She simply maintained that relaxing pose that seemed to have a healing effect on me as well as her. The warmth of her body seemed to provide a sweetener to my mind as it overpowered the bitterness within me. This sweetness that reminded me so much of honey, will eventually one day fade away, leaving me behind with simply bitterness. So... is this not a bitter sweet moment?

The waitress soon returned with our meal. However, in addition to what we had ordered, there were also a slice of strawberry cake. I looked over at her in surprise, which led to her explaining the reason why she had brought the cake.

"This cake is part of our store's tradition of a free desert for any couples that dine here," she smiled and explained.

"But we're not dating," I responded.

"Huh?"

The waitress's eyes widened as she looked over at us. Her eyes first went to me, and then to Luna who was resting her head on my shoulder and holding onto my hand. I guess to others, we must appear to be a couple. However, I know that we'll never be able to achieve that status. This gesture that we shared isn't one of love. Rather, it's one of companionship. It isn't an affectionate intimacy. Rather, it's so that we don't get lonely. Our relationship will never progress to lovers. It will never.

"S-sorry," she bowed her head and apologized. "But since I've brought it out already, would you like to keep the cake?"

"Sure," I nodded.

Then, the waitress left our table with a confused look on her face. She approached one of her coworkers and spoke with her. Turns out, they must be talking about us for the group of girls glanced over at us with looks of surprise on their faces.

"You're pretty mean," Luna softly whispered as she got up and readied herself to eat.

"How so?"

"You made her apologize and feel terrible about herself for this," Luna said with a smile. "You couldn't just played along."

I frowned. "I don't want to reinforce that idea..." I muttered. "We're not lovers and we'll never be able to become lovers..."

"Yeah," Luna nodded. "That coming from a guy that wouldn't even satisfy a dying girl's wish."

She must be referring to last night. I'm also disappointed in myself for my unwillingness to proceed. However, I know that if I were to continue last night, I would feel extremely disappointed in myself for taking advantage of her. If it weren't for her disease, she wouldn't have done that last night. Therefore, I don't want to engage in such intimacy with her knowing that it only happened because she doesn't have much time to live. Besides, if we really were to proceed to that stage... then how am I supposed to let her go when it comes time for her to die?

"Why don't you eat what you like?" I asked her as we finished up with our meal. "You don't need to worry about your body figure."

"Now I don't like to hear that," she sighed and shook her head. "Even though I'm about to die, I would still like to be lowered into my coffin in as beautiful of a state as possible."

"That sounds odd," I looked down at the empty plate before me. "If you're dead, what does it matter?"

"Don't you know that spirits take the form of the physical body at the moment of death?" Luna smiled as she looked over at me. "Would you like me to be fat when I come to haunt you?"

"Well..."

"You don't have to pretend and say you don't care," Luna pressed her finger against my lips. "I know all guys like pretty girls."

"I guess you're right..."

She smiled as she gently retracted her arm. Then, in a surprising gesture, she pressed the same finger she had pressed against my lips onto her lips, forming an indirect kiss. I blushed as I realized what she had done, but on her face was simply an amused expression as she laughed, mocking how flustered I got.

I listened in to her laugh, although somewhat mad that she's making fun of me, I still enjoyed watching her like this. Her liveliness seemed to wash off against me, making my mood even better. Her vigor and vitality just seemed to have that effect on people, even the most gloomy and moody me. Therefore, it's still hard for me to believe that someone like her... a girl as beautiful and filled with life as her, have only around half a year to live. It's... it's just not fair, and no matter how hard I try to accept it, deep down within me, I still deny this fact.

Luna will eventually die in the near future. Our time together is extremely limited. She might not even make it to the end of the school year... I enjoy spending time with her as I love how sweet our experiences together are. However, knowing that those experiences will become mere memories, that seemed to have added a strong, bitter taste to the memories, just like the red wine that I drank with Luna last night.

Our short time together, it will forever be bitter sweet.