Bad Day
-
Don't ask me how we got here.
Meaning, don't ask me how I'm on his thigh, with no panties on.
"Why are you stressed?" Lucas asks me, while kissing my neck in the middle of my throat.
"I'm not stressed, I'm just little right now." I admit with my head down
"And why is that?" He asks with a low tone in his voice, not taking his mouth off of my throat.
"B-because daddy triggered it" I answer honestly.
He chuckles and pulls me onto the counter instead of his lap. "We can't do this here, as much as I want to, babygirl, we're still in school" He tells me putting my panties back on. I pout. I wanted to do the thing though. I kind of feel bad for him, more than myself. His bulge isn't that easy to hide. Poor guy.
I don't snap out of my head space easily, and Lucas knows that. So he always lets me cling onto him after things like before.
"Want some food, baby?" He pats my head. I nod, the thought of food is enough to make my knees buckle. So they did and he ended up carrying me.
After we ate, we went over to my apartment to finish homework for a group project, even though it isn't due until next month.
"I'm kind of bored. And I wanna cuddle" he pouts, looking at the couch and TV remote. I put my pencil down and kiss him on the head.
"Sure, I'm cold anyway." I smile at him.
By my surprise, when he said "cuddle" he wanted to 'cuddle'. He took me by the waist and put me on his shoulder to my room.
"I'm going to get my pajamas and change. I'm going to stay over." He says, not even asking, I don't say anything since I kind of miss my boyfriend staying over.
"Okay" I say as I take off my pants and put his shirt on. He smiles, liking the way I look in his shirt.
"Good night, Gray" he kisses my forehead and I kiss his lips. He giggles.
I think about that girl again. Cina. She was hot. But cute at the same time. Damn, she looked reserved though. What does it matter? I have a boyfriend anyway.
-
After I tutored the two boys, well really just the one, since the busboy didn't really need any help, I made us dinner and watched TV with them.
"So, Taeyong," He hums in response, not looking away from the TV. "how do you know busboy?" I ask.
He laughs and looks at me, "He's my ap bio buddy, we sit next to each other" he smiles and looks back at the TV.
"Is that so busboy?" I ask the other guy on my couch.
"Hm? oh, yeah. Me and Ty have been buddies for a while now. Even though I just transferred to Seoul 2 months ago" he tells me, looking at the TV.
Hmm, well. What's not clicking?
-
I sigh as I try to get myself out of my covers. Damn. I hate waking up.
I check my clock to see what time it was, hoping it was before 6. I don't want to wake up late today either. I don't want to miss the bus today.
5:02 am.
Good. I sigh in relief. I'm supposed to be getting my mail today. Even though I don't even get paper mail anymore. It usually comes around the time I need to leave the house.
I walk past the body mirror by my closet in the hallway. My hair is all ruffled and messed. I need to do something about it. I don't think I like this style anymore. I just bleached it though. What damage will be done? Whatever.
I open my closet in my room and pick out an outfit. Easy. A black turtleneck with black jeans. Old Skool vans for shoes. I try to decide whether or not I should have a belt on.
I fix my hair last and put some gel on it so it doesn't move out of place. I look like trash, but whatever. I don't want to try anymore. I'm not in the mood right now either.
I check my clock again.
5:37 am
I sigh. I don't know what has been weighing on me lately. I started feeling like this yesterday. But I don't why. I grab my bag and two thermoses. I open mine and put vanilla creamer in mine and open the second and put cinnamon flavored creamer in there.
My doorbell rings. Oh, well, there's my mail.
I open my door and there's a couple of packages there. I opened the package that's addressed from Gwangju. I sigh, thinking it's another Thermos. But this ones different. It's a new scarf. It's fall. I was going to go out to buy one today too.
I smile at the gift. My mom's worried when she shouldn't be. I open the rest of my packages and the rest are my packages from Amazon. New chopsticks and more hair coloring. I think I know what I want to do with my hair as I look at the colors.
I look at the time again and it's about to be 5:50. I open my door and lock it behind me.
I start walking out to the sidewalk and sit on the bench for the bus stop. My phone dings.
TY
yo, tonight, Wong from that one frat is having a party tonight.
wanna come?
I don't have a choice, do I?
nope 😺
oml
ok
Who's coming with you?
cina 😌💅
I sigh. He mentions someone I don't know. Or at least, their name isn't that familiar. It's like he acts like he thinks I know who that is, but I don't. I leave him on scene, since I don't really want to discuss parties at 6 in the morning.
God I'm glad this stop has Chi, or else my morning would've been crappier. Even though nothing happened today, yet.
After a short amount of time sitting here on my phone, the bus arrived and I got my thermos ready. I got on and went to my usual seat. But Chi wasn't there this time.
My eyebrows furrow at the sudden disappearance. Then I remembered, my stop is before she gets on and gets off before I get off.
All I can do is sit here and wait until she gets on.
A couple of minutes pass and the bus stops at her stop. She gets on, but she gives me a vibe that she woke up late or something.
"Your alarm didn't work this morning, huh?" I ask her. Her swollen eyes widen as if they were never swollen to begin with.
She nods slowly.
"I woke up 10 minutes late" she pouts.
I smile and give her a thermos filled with coffee again.
"It has cinnamon creamer in it this time." I smile at her. She sips it and smiles back.
We didn't talk much, we just drank coffee and smiled at each other. But of course, all good things must come to an end; our bus stopped and this was her stop. My stop was a couple of blocks away from here, so it's closer to the building I have all my classes in.
I watched her go, and she waved bye to me and took the thermos.
Good. I needed to give some away anyway. She was a start.
-
Today was not going good. I woke up 10 minutes later, I spilled coffee on my white shirt, I ripped my pants in the middle of the hallway, I have a headache that won't go away and has been there since I got off the bus, and I skinned my knee because my shoe was untied. It's only 11:00.
I walk out to the court by the historical building, since no one uses it that much anymore. I sit down by the big old oak tree and pull my knees up to my chest and start to tear up. I think what did it for me was the fact that I thought of my mom after all this happened. I put my head down on top of my skinned knee by accident. The contact with the skin and my forehead burned the open cut. I hissed from pain. That shit hurts. The pain seemed to make actual tears fall from my eyes. I just feel like mush. I feel like I'm not existing. I miss my mom. Regardless of my age, I still have my moments where I just need a hug from my mom.
The tears don't seem to stop anytime soon, but I'm silent. I feel like I'm causing the biggest commotion in the courtyard, even though no ones here. No one can see me, hear me, or even acknowledge the fact that I am just having a bad day.
After I let some steam out, my cheeks are flushed and my eyes are swollen. I look horrible.
"hey, why are you all the way out here? what's wrong?" a voice from behind me says out of nowhere.
I turn to see a boy about my age. He had dark hair, small legs, but a strong build for his upper body. It looked good in a way. He had a nice jawline, too.
He takes another couple steps towards me until he's hovering over me.
"Bad day, huh?" He smiles, and his dimples show. He has this vibe that makes me want to crawl into my sub space. I feel like I am slipping, bit by bit.
I reply with a shy "yes". He laughs and goes on.
"The weather's beautiful today, the blue jays seem to be happy, you're in good health and living, the canteen has tater tots, there are things to look forward to!" he says cheerfully.
I really want his words to work, but the rip on my jeans and the stained shirt are really getting in the way of that.
I look down. He squats down to my eye level.
"Are you that deep into clothes? is there anything that could cheer you up right now?" he questions. I shrug.
"You have beautiful eyes." he compliments.
"they're brown though." I say, playing with the sticks and leaves on the ground.
"people don't like brown eyes, but I do. Whenever the sun hits them, they're like little brown galaxies and it looks pretty." he explains.
"you have a nice skin complexion" he tries again
I frown. Is this guy trying to make fun of me? I answered him "I'm breaking out."
"doesn't matter to me. the way I see it, imperfections are what make you, you. And you're beautiful."
Alright. he got me on that one.
I smile a little bit, and blush at his words.
"see, you look so pretty when you smile. good girl." he pats my head.That's it, I'm fully in my head space and it's gonna take a while until I can feel fine again.
I start to look at the ground in embarrassment from not being able to go anywhere.
he notices and asks me if I wanted to talk about it.
I nod.
"What's the first thing that went wrong today?" he asks, sitting down next to me.
"I woke up late." I answer quietly.
he hums in response. "Go on, rant. I'm listening" he motions his hand in a 'go' way.
"I woke up 10 minutes late and that sucked. I spilled coffee on my white shirt and it's gonna stain. I ripped my favorite jeans in the middle of the hallway during free time. And I fell and skinned my knee and now it burns" I whine, on the brim of tears again.
he pats my head and I automatically lean into the touch, unknowingly.
"I'm sorry all that happened to you. here" he pulls something out of his bag.
"Show me your knee" he says. I automatically obey him. He pulls out qtips, bandaids, and neosporin. he puts neosporin on the qtip and puts the qtip on my knee, it burns at first because of the contact, but feels cool after. He unwraps the band-aid and puts it on carefully. He smiles after.
"I'm Jung Jaehyun. I'm a junior here." he holds his hand out for me to shake so I shake it.
"Cina Choi" I say in a quiet voice.
"god, you're so cute. are you a sub, or a switch?" he asks like it's nothing.
I'm left speechless. But I wasn't able to help the fast spread of blush across my cheeks.
"ahh, a switch. I figured. You seemed pretty dominant with those boys yesterday, when your boyfriend left you." he says, surely.
"boyfriend?" I say.
he looks at me. "yeah, the guy with light gray hair." I'm so confused. OHH Taeyong?
"he's not my boyfriend. he's my best friend" I correct him.
"oh, sorry." he apologizes.
"no it's okay. I was just shocked that you thought that." I replied.
he blushes this time. "you feel pretty chill now. you stepped out of your head space that quick?" he changes the subject
the question stuns me. I feel small again. I hug my knees again but keep eye contact
"I still feel small. I wanna cuddle my boyfriend but I don't have one." I pout.
he smiles at me again. "come on, let me take you to eat at least. make your day a little better at least." he offers. I obviously accpeted.
"I'll help you get up, let's go." he tries to pull me up, but I don't budge.
he makes a confused face.
"did you forget about my pants? I don't have a sweater." I pout.
he realizes after and wraps his around my waist to hide my rip. I cover the coffee with my hair by taking it down. he takes my hand and leads me to his car.
I don't know what it is about him that makes me trust him. I just met him, he made me feel happy, he cheered me up, and even offered to buy me something to eat.
"put your seat belt on" he smiles and takes off.
-
For some reason, I was gonna say "sorry I cut it short today y'all." but that is not the case here. I'm sorry for writing so much
I've been fed up with online college. that shit sucks. Im caught up on homework, I don't have dance practice, and I have time. so what did I do with that time? wrote a whole ass book. what else would I do with it? the fuck?
sorry for writing a lot again, thanks for reading too. don't get caught reading this in class though.....🥺🌈☀️🌹🥰💅😌😺😀✨🤔😲🦧🤭😁😎😗😠🤬😡😐🙄💚😞🤫♥️☹️