Chapter 1: Life and Death

Samuel had spent the night on the roof of the apartment complex he was living in.

Sixteenth floor, it was pretty high up.

But there, he had a great view of the city and the night sky.

In the past, he and his friends would often spend time up on that roof just gazing at the stars whilst listening to music, talking about life, reading books or just lying next to each other while enjoying the silence.

The noise of the city seemed so distant while the sound of the winds seemed much closer to - It was a perfect place for him to sort out his thoughts and dwell in memories.

This time, however, he wasn't reading a book, nor was he playing games on his phone or watching videos.

He was reminiscing.

Thinking about his life up to this point.

'Where have I gone wrong?'

From an outsiders' perspective, his Life must have looked pretty amazing.

He had caring parents, his family was happy.

Granted, he was an only child - hence he had no siblings to rely on - but he had amazing friends anyone would have been happy to have as siblings.

They were as close as siblings they said.

Nothing could sever that bond and it was true.

Growing up, they had made many plans about what they would become one day and how they would do it together.

They would support and stand up for each other, because that is what siblings do, right?

Their parents were happy to see that their children had found like-minded friends who were so close to each other.

Not only that, but it also brought their respective parents closer to each other as well, turning them into one big patchwork family.

Years upon years passed and many things changed, but one thing always remained the same – that unbreakable bond.

From childhood all the way through adulthood, nothing could change that.

When one of them made a mistake on their way and needed help, the others would step up and share the burden to help him stand up again.

It wasn't always peaceful though, like every family they had their faults.

Mistakes were made and fights happened.

Even when love blossomed between some of them, that didn't break the bond of the group.

Even when that love wilted, it didn't change anything either.

They had their one rule which stood head and shoulders above all other rules, and that was 'to leave no one behind'.

To always be there for each other and to not let anything destroy that precious bond of friendship.

It may sound a bit cheesy, but at least it made sense to them.

If one of them would break that rule he would have to face the relentless pursuit and beating of the others.

But this was what made it all the more painful for Samuel.

Because all of them left him. They left and they left together, left only him behind.

He didn't have anyone left. Their parents left as well, even his parents were gone.

He was all alone in this world.

It felt like a conspiracy.

"Why was I the only one left behind? Why?"

He couldn't understand it, he didn't want to.

No matter what people said, no matter how reasonable it sounded, how beautiful their consoling words were, it didn't seem to make any sense.

He wanted to find an answer that made sense.

Something that would make him understand, why everyone else died, and he still kept drawing breath.

"Was I the one that should have died in their Stead? It definitely should have been like that right?"

He wasn't the strongest of them, not the smartest nor the most passionate.

Samuel kept saying to himself "they died, so I have to live life to the fullest in their stead"

But to say the truth, that was what other people had told him and he decided that it made at least a little sense.

So he kept repeating it to himself, like a mantra. To give himself some strength, to give himself the will to live on.

The last thing he wanted, was to waste the life he had been granted while the rest of his great family had been denied that privilege.

"You ungrateful little fu-" Is how he would reprimand himself whenever he'd catch himself thinking dying would be easier.

But he was lacking a reason to live for himself.

A motivation to keep going, something he could hold on to. Sure, he didn't plan on dying, but there was nothing that kept him going either.

No goal that seemed to make life worth living again. No person that warmed his heart when he thought about her, no one that could make him happy again.

Everything seemed without taste, nothing seemed to have any meaning.

Life was dull, colored in many shades of gray and even the most beautiful of experiences he had since then, were just a brighter shade of gray.

But this world of gray was his world now. He wouldn't give up on it.

It was his life. But it was more than just that, right?

'When someone falls, the rest of us have to step in and share the burden to put that person back on his feet again.'

Is what they used to say.

But now, everyone else had fallen and he would have to share the burden on his shoulders, which seemed small all of a sudden, alone.

Could he live with that? Was he strong enough?

Yes.

He could,

He was.

More than that, he would find beautiful colors to paint this world of gray, turn it into a raging storm filled with all kinds of beautiful colorful memories, he would feel again, and he would move on, so their souls could move on too. They wouldn't have to worry about him anymore.

Even though Samuel wasn't a religious person, somehow he knew that, somewhere out there, there was a world where they were watching him.

Full of worry and sorrow and maybe they blamed him, maybe they were watching his every step, hoping he would make the right decision, or maybe they just moved on.

As for himself – all he could do was try to make the right choices.

For them, and for himself.

So, what was he doing up there?

At that particular moment? He was probably enjoying the sunrise.

At least that one thing, in that single moment, didn't seem gray at all.

It was vibrant and full of life.

It seemed to be so simple, yet the colors felt so warm to him whenever the sun rose.

That was the only time of the day where he felt some color in his life.

Samuel used to be a person who could find joy in little things, yet he never really was the kind of person to stay up all night just so he could enjoy the rising of the sun.

But now, he was that kind of person.

One of the many things that changed about him.

Another thing would be the scars left behind by that accident.

Of course, there are two types of scars.

Those on the body, and those on the mind.

Those on his body were but a trifling matter, those on his mind though were what that kept him awake at night, kept hurting and torturing him.

He was there and watched them all die.

His mother had saved him, but even she had died after she brought him to safety.

His father was probably the first to die. He didn't see his last moments.

Misa, the girl he had loved once, died right in front of him.

The others… no, he didn't even want to think about it.

After the sun rose, Samuel stood up.

He had been lying on the edge of the roof up till this point, now he was standing right on top of it.

He was not planning to fall to his death mind you, this little bit of danger made his heart race, but that's what reminded him of the fact that he was still alive.

But this didn't stop the pain. It didn't stop the tears.

Again.

He didn't want to keep shedding tears when he was thinking of them anymore, he wanted to smile instead. But he couldn't control it.

At least, he couldn't do so yet.

When he had realized that his tears were falling, he started laughing at himself and

wiped them away.

Sam wasn't the kind of person who would keep dwelling on failures and think of what went wrong, what he could have done better.

He was the kind of person who reflects upon his mistakes so he could do better next time, but he wouldn't dwell on them like a kid.

Of course, that was until now.

Especially the last few weeks had gotten worse.

It had already been over half a year since they had died, and right now, he felt worse than ever before.

Since then, many things had happened, but in the last few weeks, something strange kept occurring to Samuel.

He became depressed again - way worse than ever before, the grief became worse.

He kept getting weird thoughts, thoughts he couldn't believe were his own.

But he told himself "now that's ridiculous".

He couldn't explain why he thought that these thoughts were not his, but someone else's, but that was the vibe they gave of.

It was all negative. He thought of giving up after all, that in this life, nothing was worth living for and that this world was despicable anyway.

That he deserved something better, and that something was waiting for him after his death.

That his family was waiting for him to join them, and that only he was fighting against his fate.

That it would be too late if he didn't join them soon.

And just like this, after everything that was said and done, after all the goals that he had made for himself, after every rule he had set up, every resolution, Samuel Cromwell made that Step and fell unto his death.

When he made that step, he felt himself and life to the fullest all of a sudden.

The world was colorful again, everything was beautiful and bright.

He felt the wind on his skin, he felt his heartbeat as clearly as never before, the blood pumping in his veins, everything was so intensive.

For the first time in six months, he felt alive again.

Which was kinda ironic, if you think about it.

As cliched as it might sound, during his fall what he saw was not the beautiful sunrise he had been enjoying moments ago, but his life which flashed in front of him.

He saw all the decisions he made, all the people he loved and all the things that went wrong.

However, he also saw people he would leave behind – people he was still important to, who had tried to keep him from falling into despair.

For a moment, he felt as if it was all a dream, and he would wake up the moment he hit the ground.

But his spread arms and the smile on his face spoke the truth.

He was embracing death.

He was welcoming it, and he hoped that he wouldn't be wrong. That there would be a world beyond death.

"I am sorry… I got the message now. I am coming, wait for me!"

These were his lasts thoughts as Samuel Cromwell.

He hit the ground, and a gruesome sound broke the silence of the peaceful morning which even cars didn't dare disturb, which was rare in a big city like this indeed.

After that gruesome sound of a body hitting the ground at the highest possible velocity produced from a fall, there was another horrifying sound.

A shrill scream of a girl.

A Scream so loud that it seemed like the entire district must have heard it.

It woke up almost all of the people living in the vicinity.

When they woke up annoyed and opened the window planning to complain, what greeted them was the sight of a crying girl who was holding onto a disfigured, dead body.

They didn't know yet, that this dead man would enter the annals of history as

The last dead Person on earth – At least for a while.

But that's a story for another time.

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As for Sam?

He was dead of course. The moment his body hit the ground he felt immeasurable pain, and all that bullshit about embracing death had left his mind.

No one had told him it would hurt this much. No one had told him it would be this ugly.

Well, it wasn't that he planned on doing it anyway, it just happened. It was an impulsive decision.

Still, he only had a tiny moment to have these thoughts, because he was already dead in the next.

So, were his hopes fulfilled? Would he enter some kind of afterlife and reunite with his family again? Or was it too late already?

Well… I guess?