Popa Dies Lmao

The case was as fresh as the ocean is shallow

As the thievery of twain months was laid bare

"We must start" stated the Judge

"We must start" Stated Rute

"I have many a question" stated Popa

Rute, containing the knowledge of a chimpanzee,

Was first to speak. "A lawsuit is in order, for

Jude, who committed a great evil to me".

"Elaborate if you will" the judge commanded

"Mine mind hath forgotten" Rute replied

"Sue me for the months of thievery I committed, while I

Sue thou for the months of mine time thou hath wasted"

"I shalt represent thee too, thrice a hundred million

Shall be added to mine wealth" Popa added

"Popa shall represent both" the Judge confirmed

"I can withdraw 250 millions to pay you"

"You shan't pay Jude, thine Lord is on your behalf"

"Four is what I can spare" the Judge got up

And left the room to the other three

"Thanks is all I can spare" Rute revealed

"Pay me not commoners, or I shalt excuse thine-self"

"Very well, Shall I commence?" Rute questioned

In came the judge, with four coins in his palm

A loud noise was emitted as he slammed all

On the table in front of Popa. In quick response,

All coins flew off the table at a speed exceeding

That of the sun's rays, and just as brightly.

"I shalt excuse thine-self" Popa stated

"I curseth thee, to forever damnation"

"And I curseth thee in response;

And for God's sake, sit down" The Judge asserted

"As I have stated above, Jude robbed mine wealth,

So I shalt take his in its entirety" Rute expressed

As he proceeded to slam the Gavel.

"Agreed, case closed" the judge stated

"But of how much were you stolen?" Popa voiced

His concern for his clients loss,

As well as the gain of his client.

"I cannot be exact, but it was as surely his whole

As the sun's ra..."

"You used this metaphor already, you dim,

Lowlife" the Judge declared violently.

"Your statement rings true" Rute exclaimed

"Allow me but one chance to make it even"

"As surely as you shalt never get the third property

On the McDonald's Monopoly, and as surely as this epic

Is botched with improper use of archaic language, and

Slothfully embedded metaphors, as surely as

The lock is as immortal as the ocean (yes this is a simile

Inside a simile), around his neck hangs an Albatross,

A beautiful bird, worthy of his net worth".

"And can thou show me proof of his misgivings?"

"Why yes I can, good Popa, I shall return immediately"

Rute promptly left the room, to search,

To search for his supposed proof of his claim.

"This is above mine pay grade" the Judge complained

Popa stepped closer to the Jude, and with snakelike

Fingers, snatched at his wallet. Unfortunately for Popa

Jude had the blessings of RNJesus, and fortunately,

He only dropped his wealth on the floor.

At that moment, Rute stepped into the room.

"Aha! Do you see Judge? How could he

Have built up a store such as this without taking

All from me! This case is mine".

But as far as Jude was concerned, neither the case,

Nor Rute's wallet was going to be Rute's very soon,

Unfortunately, RNJesus is not short on blessings.

Rute turned away the moment prior to Jude's bilk

And without hesitation grabbed at the wallet of

His lawyer, Popa, completing the triangle.

"Do you think it's a good idea to rob your lawyer?"

Popa asked as he turned away prior to the hand's snatch.

"We must proceed, although this is poor for my health"

The Judge, who was ready to dismiss the case there, begged.

"I want to sue Rute for wasti..."

"Anyways Jude, The cretin, robbed me of his entire net worth".

"It is clear now, Jude did, in fact, rob Rute of all his wealth.

"I shalt take what is mine now".

"And please show the court your proof" Jude egged

"We all saw the money you had on the floor,

If it did not come from Rute, then who did it come from?"

"C can we take turns please?" the Judge begged some more.

"Clear evidence" said Popa as he ripped out Jude's wallet.

"Proof" stated Popa. "Proof" stated Rute. "Haveth thee,

Any single thing to say in your defense?"

"I currently have much more then Rute has,

So how could I have robbed him?" Jude countered.

"Because you robbed it all from me!" Rute cried!

"Proof" stated Jude. "Proof?" questioned Rute.

"Judge, manage this please" Popa cried.

"This is above mine pay grade" The Judge, who

Used this joke above repeated to get extra laughs.

"I beseech you to find Jude guilty of every crime,

If you do, I shall give you part of the spoils" Rute yelled.

"I do not wish to be tempted by corruption,

In such a public location" the Judge wiped sweat from his brow.

"I want to sue Rute for false incrimination" Jude yelled louder

"Ah, but you see" Rute started "while I was gone

I grabbed the absolute proof of your crimes"

"Ah yes, looking at his banking records (epical haxor)

Jude robbed Rute a total of 37 times" Popa declared.

"Please allow my friend, Hugh in. he is very trustworthy.

He will vouch for me" Jude panicked.

"I accept your request" the Judge responded.

The door opened as another man came in

"My proof is this!" Rute Screamed.

He slammed a very very verrrrrrrrrry convincing

Document on the table. On it, was a photo,

A photo of the poorest quality. It showed

Jude at the bank, looking at Rute's records.

There was also a bag of coins poorly photoshopped in.

https://images.app.goo.gl/rLe8XuDs4gRd6xe7A was its name!

A very fitting name for such a masterful relic.

"Punishment by death" Hugh stated,

Only after looking at the document Rute brought out.

"What the Hell" Jude looked at Hugh in disgust.

"SEE THIS!!!" Rute screamed for all to hear,

And pointing violently at his phot... proof.

"PROOF".

"What can I say, this is, undoubtedly proof of Jude's crime.

Hugh added to the end of Rute's statement.

"I'm only in this for the money" Popa uttered to himself

"But yes, it does prove a crime" Popa stated louder.

"Why can I not access my online banking?"

Rute immediately replied: "the only logical reason,

Is because Jude robbed me!"

"Ah, that does make logical sense" Popa replied.

"I REST MY CASE" Rute yelled even louder.

"I see no case" Hugh stated,

As he reached under the table

And came up with a $100 bill.

"I want to sue Rute for harassment" Jude yelled,

Sitting up straight after handing something under the table.

"Jude, please cease your meaningless comments"

Popa requested kindly. "We must let the Judge,

Who has gone through so much in this case.

Make a final and total decision."

"I take either cash or credit" Rute spoke to Jude.

"I don't see any rob higher than 40 plus 5 thousand"

The Judge said, for all to hear.

"I wish to reiterate, I have ABSOLUTE PROOF of a crime"

Rute reiterated reiteratedly. "You know what?

I don't have time for this. This is now a robbery"

Rute stated coldly, as he pulled a gun from his pocket.

"I must request you all give me all your wealth"

"Over my dead body!" cried Jude as he also,

Without a moment to spare, pulled a gun out.

The two stood there for a tense moment, until Rute,

Who was probably not totally sane, pulled the trigger.

Jude leapt to the side and fired back, but to no avail.

Rute had already left his position. Three more shots,

All aimed at Jude left the barrel of demise.

Jude, already on the ground, felt a leaden weight stick

Into his knee. Feeling backed into a corner, Jude shot

Five times back. Hoping one would navigate to its prey.

Hugh yelled above the noise, on Popa's continued evasion

Of taxes, and Popa tried to counter

With the lack of a public tax's existence,

But he was cut short by Jude's throat-cleaner.

Popa fell back with his life escaping through his wound,

A wound of the most mortal kind. More deadly then

An ounce of Ricin, or McDonalds in general.

Unfortunately for Jude, none of his bullets hit the mark.

Fortunately for Jude, Rute slipped on Popa's blood.

Crashing on the ground, Rute swore defeat.

All (except Popa who was still on the floor convulsing)

Sat back in their chairs to continue the case.

"I believe Jude owes me his entire balance" Rute repeated.

"I believe not" the Judge replied.

"Fine, I will take 99.9% of his total wealth" Rute responded.

"10 million is fair I believe" said the judge.

"Do you take bribes your honor?" Hugh asked.

The Judge immediately denied his request.

"Were out of options Jude" Hugh sadly stated.

"Fine, I will take my 10 million" Rute stated coldly.

"I want to sue Rute for ingesting my time, as a

Puny sparrow ingests a worm" Jude stated

As he handed Rute a check for ten million

Dollars, signed by him and expiring in exactly

Three months' time.

"Case closed, whatever, I don't care anymore,

I quit" said the Judge as he pulled off his robes

And exited the building.

After the case, Rute instantly cashed his check.

He pulled it out entirely in cash, and accidentally

Left it on the curb while waiting for the bus.

Jude, now ten million dollars in the hole,

Made up all his money in the casino that same night.

It appears RNJesus was still on his side.

The Judge, who was no longer the judge,

Went home and cried in the shower for

Three days and three nights, then for five more

Days (but not the nights). Even after 20 years,

He still wakes up at night screaming because

Of the trauma he faced at this case.

Hugh went back to doing Hugh things, like

Trying to pronounce Hugh in multiple ways,

And betraying his friends more commonly

Then Italy did in both World Wars combined.

And Popa is still dead Lmao, Woe is he I guess.