5 5

1974, 12 February.

Polaris couldn't help but just stare at his professor's wand, which was laid right beside the man on the table that separated the two. He couldn't wait to have one for himself.

He started to wonder what type of wand he would get. There were multiple possibilities of the combinations he could have in his wand, so many woods for it to be sculpted from, so many 'ingredients' that could make the wand 'his'.

He remembered how Regulus had come home after shopping for Hogwarts. He told his younger brother how amazing it felt once the wand had chosen him.

Does that feeling feel different to everyone? It was fascinating how a wand chooses its person. It makes it every bit special, seeing as a person is destined to that wand. Polaris couldn't help starting to think what would happen if a wizard's wand were to break. How would one feel? How will that wand be replaced? Is a replica made? Or do they get chosen by another wand?

"Polaris? Are you listening?" Alren Rowle asked.

Polaris snapped back to reality, moving his gaze from lingering at the still wand on the table and looked back up to his professor with eyes filled with questions.

"Yes, of course, I am", he responded with an attentive nod.

"Well, suppose I won't be giving you homework this time. Do you have any questions before this lesson comes to an end?" Professor Rowle asked.

"Well… I understand that one cannot get a wand until Hogwarts, but is there truly no way for me to get a wand?" Polaris asked glumly, staring idly at the book in front of him.

Professor Rowle sighed, pushing one long strand of his hair behind his ear. "Polaris, once again, I can confidently say you cannot get a wand until Hogwarts".

"What about those training wands, I've heard about" Polaris clapped back, leaning forward with great interest gripping the arms of the chair he was sitting in as he waited for the man's response.

Professor Rowle raised a brow at that statement, then narrowed his eyes, leaning forward himself over the table "… Polaris, you mean the illegal training wands? Where did you hear about them?" he asked slowly.

Now that got Polaris to sweat, 'they're illegal? Oh, I'm definitely going to have a long chat with Corvus. How the heck did he get one?!'.

Polaris leaned back in his chair, intimidated by the question, "Well, I just heard it somewhere, not exactly sure where. Anyways, so what you're saying is that I can't do anything other than learning the theory and do potions," he said nonchalantly trying to hide his emotions.

'How… stupid, training wands should be legal'.

"Well-" Professor Rowle began before he was cut off.

"Wait, what about wandless magic?! I can do that, right? I mean, it doesn't need me to have a wand. Let's learn about that," Polaris said with a large smile, thinking he solved the problem of having to wait to do magic.

Professor Rowle let out a chuckle, and then it turned into a laugh. "Polaris… I understand you're very eager to learn magic, I'm sure you know to learn the theory isn't the same as actually waving a wand, but you really do have to wait until Hogwarts. Wandless magic is… well, complicated. It's rare to actually meet someone who can do wandless magic. I myself can't do magic without my wand. The closest to wandless magic you could do is accidental magic, if I am to be honest. It takes great skill to be able to cast magic without a wand. It would be impossible for someone your age to be able to do so. Now let's move on."

Polaris frowned, 'Impossible?'.

--

After that particular lesson Polaris had with his tutor, he decided to research more about the concept of wandless magic. He needed to know what was so special about it. Why wasn't it common? Why did it take so much skill to perform such a feat?

He didn't want to have to wait until Hogwarts to do magic. What was the point of being born into a magical family, being born a wizard, if he had to wait so 'many' years to cast magic with a wand? His tutor said it was impossible, but that was just bullocks. Anything can be possible if you put your mind to it. It depends on how far that person is willing to go.

He spent a few weeks looking for books on wandless magic, whether it was the library in the Grimmauld place or the Black manor. Polaris somehow found himself getting closer to his ever so 'sweet' dear cousin, just to see if he could have a look in the Lestrange library collection, which he was able to do.

He didn't realize how different libraries could be. Maybe the Hogwarts library would be grander, seeing as he couldn't think of anything grander than an old pureblood family library. Surely the Hogwarts library would be better, right?

He was only able to find 3 books that held useful information. Most of them were just repeated words, which only grew the frustration Polaris had for wandless magic.

It didn't take long before he got bored from researching; he had done so for months and couldn't take it anymore. Therefore he decided to take a different route. He gave up on the theory part of it and moved straight to the practical part of it.

He could safely say it was a success, although, along a tough process, he started off by willing a light bulb to turn off and on. It took him two weeks to do so. It was the best feeling he had felt in a long time once it was done. He began doing so every day to make sure the feeling was familiar to him, so it would be embedded into his muscle memory.

Everything after that was just a downfall. He couldn't exactly do anything else. He didn't understand why it was much harder to do other things. If he could turn on a light, why could he not move objects?

-

1974, 24 May.

He wasn't sure at all what he was doing, but nonetheless, at this very moment, like the previous day before, he was sitting on the floor staring intently at a rubber ball, hoping that if he put his full concentration on the very object then maybe it would move.

It wasn't exactly working, seeing as Polaris had been sat there for an hour straight concentrating on the unmoving object; it didn't feel like an hour for Polaris. He didn't care if it moved by barely an inch. He just needed something to prove to him he could do this and progress from there.

He was done. Polaris groaned loudly, gripping his hair in frustration and glaring at the small rubber ball.

He just needed it to move. Once it moves, he could practice again, again, until he could move to bigger objects, maybe even start closing the door with just a thought, but no… the ball wouldn't budge, and he was sitting on the floor staring at a ball like an idiot.

"Why won't you move!" Polaris gritted out.

He aggressively picked the ball up, tightening his grip around it and brought it closer to his face, "I was sat there for Merlin knows how long, staring at you, and you had the audacity to not even move an inch".

With that said, he threw his arm back, then forward and let the ball out of his grip in annoyance, causing the bouncy object to hit the wall of his room with force. Before Polaris knew it, the object was coming straight towards him.

'Oh… great, is this like revenge?'.

He closed his eyes tightly, his arms instinctively moved to cover his face, and he waited patiently for the impact.

…

It didn't come. Slowly he lowered his arms, his eyes already opened with a frown on his face.

His heart sank. Just as his eyes widened, the ball was in his face… frozen in the air, though it was as steady as he wished it could be, seeing at it was swaying slightly in the air.

He could help but grin. He did it. It was him, right? He stopped the ball...

'Maybe I was going on about this whole thing wrong. It happened because of my strong emotions, right? That had to be it. The first time I had willed the bulb to turn off, I was angry since I had been at it for ages, but it wasn't strong, the light wasn't strong it was when I calmed myself afterwards and did it again, the bulb lit up brighter than when I first did it. Now the ball stopped because I was scared, right? It reacted to my strong emotions'.

'Maybe every time I had tried, I was overwhelming myself with emotions, thinking too much. I think I understand it, do I? I feel like I'm making up rubbish now'.

Polaris calmed himself down, stared at the ball once more, and slowly watched it steady itself in the air. No longer was it swaying around in one spot. It was now unmoving'.

The childish side of Polaris could help but seep out, and he jumped around where the ball was still currently frozen in the air.

"Yes! Who's the man?!! I am!" Polaris exclaimed loudly, punching a fist into the air, not even noticing that his door began to open.

"What are you doing?" a scruff voice sounded from his door.

Polaris froze as he landed back on his two feet from the jump. Just as he froze, the ball fell to the ground as though it was Polaris. He had just dropped it with his hands.

Polaris turned his head slowly to his door, slightly flushed from embarrassment. It was his uncle. The man stood at his door, leaning against the door frame with an amused smile on his face.

'Surely he hadn't seen me jumping, right?'.

He stared into his uncle's eyes, which were the very same as his mother's eyes.

"Uncle Alphard… well, you see, I thought I take some time and do some exercises", Polaris answered the curious figure.

Alphard Black snorted, "I'm sure you were. Go ahead, I should have knocked; you can go back to playing with your imaginary friends, don't worry. I won't tell your parents, especially Walburga."

'Imaginary friends? What? No!'

Polaris still flushed. He stopped his uncle from leaving by speaking again. He stood tall and puffed his chest out. "Uncle, I'll have you know that I don't have imaginary friends".

"Why are you even here? Shouldn't you be somewhere in France running away from responsibilities and being a bachelor?" Polaris asked as though it was the strangest thing in the world.

His Uncle Alphard had been in France for three years now. He had yet to marry and had not the intent to do so. The man barely even made appearances at family functions. Even when he did, his mother and his uncle would get into an argument after his mother would insult him.

Alphard burst into laughter, "Is that what you think of me? A rebellious man with only women on my mind?" the man responded.

He then had a thoughtful look on his face, "You know, youngest Black, you are not too far off. I wouldn't mind being surrounded by French beauts right about now", his uncle said, looking off to space.

Polaris groaned at how unfiltered his uncle was. He completely blamed him as well for the way Sirius spoke.

"You're unbelievable…" Polaris muttered before shaking his head, "Uncle Al? how did you avoid having to get married? Did grandfather Pollux not force you? Mother always talks bad about you for not proving heirs to the house of Black." Poalris questioned his mother's brother.

His uncle humme din amusement, "Well, it help that you father, had three heirs, and my brother, your uncle Cygnus, has children of his own as well, albeit females, they are still heirs, after your brothers and yourself. So their isn't really a worry of the House of Black dying." His uncle replied.

Polaris stared at him with a wide smile, "Then I won't be pressured to marry? I have two older brothers, their going to have children of their own…. So do you think I could get away with it?" Polaris asked his uncle.

The man laughed, "You could totally get away with it, you just have to think of it this way, whose going to be still breathing when your old enough to be wed? just butter up those who you think will surbive until then, so you're their favourite and they'll go light on you." His uncle told him rather proudly.

Polaris stared at the man before nodding slowly, "That's an interesting way to go about it… I'm pretty sure they'll all be alive by then. Well, thank you for your input, you may take your leave now," Polaris said to his uncle as he slightly pushed the man, trying to lead him out of his room.

Once his uncle was out of his room, he slammed his door. He hit his forehead against the door once he heard his uncle yell from the hallway.

"A plus tard, plus jeune Noir!".

'Will he ever stop calling me that?! He's even calling me it in French, 'youngest Black' this 'youngest Black' that, sure it was true, I'm the youngest Black but doesn't mean it should be a title. Hopefully, that isn't what Sirius will grow up to be like'.

Alphard Black wasn't exactly like the rest of the elder Blacks, seeing as he refused to marry and produce heirs of his own. Even so, he was still Polaris's favourite uncle even though he wasn't exactly the best role model. Polaris wasn't even allowed to be around him alone. His mother was scared that her brother would corrupt her youngest.

1975, 25 March.

Polaris had woken up earlier today than he usually would on a Tuesday, the reason being was that he would be getting his Hogwarts letter this morning. It was his 11th birthday. After the long wait, he will finally be attending Hogwarts with his elder brothers.

He couldn't wait to get his hands on the letter.

He had already gotten himself dressed. He stood in front of the mirror, trying to tame his unruly hair with his hands.

'This won't work'.

Polaris glanced at his dressing table and saw what he was looking for his hairbrush,

He held his hand out, and the brush came, and he proceeded to do his hair. With all the practice he had done, he was proud of himself for being able to do the basics when it came to wandless magic. He started saying spells as well, seeing if they'd work, which they have been so far.

'I wonder when I'll be going to Diagon Alley for Hogwarts… hmm, will mother or father be taking me… hopefully father'.

Sirius was currently going into his 5th year of Hogwarts as Polaris will be beginning his 1st year, a beginning of his new journey. His other brother, Regulus, would be going into his 4th year of Hogwarts, already chosen the electives he wished to do.

Polaris and Sirius weren't what you would exactly call 'close', but they still had their moments. Unknown to them, both Walburga herself was trying to pull the brothers apart, just as she had done with Regulus and Sirius.

The whole time both Polaris and Regulus had assumed Sirius wasn't bothered to answer their letters, Walburga had prevented them from getting any letters addressed to them.

Polaris would often hear his mother belittle his brother, Sirius, calling him a filthy Blood Traitor, but seeing as he was still the heir and part of the family, surely his mother was just saying it to spite him, with it not being true…right?

Over the years, his mother had only been increasing and blatantly making it obvious she despised Sirius. Just as Sirius was doing the same thing, showing how much he hated this place that was supposed to be 'home'. The fights only increased day by day. Either that or Sirius would stay huddled up in his bedroom.

Polaris couldn't blame Sirius for his obvious hate towards their mother… she was what he would deem as abusive. She'd do anything for Sirius to be the perfect heir for the House of Black, but obviously, hurting wasn't working. If anything, it just made him more rebellious, more spiteful, his hatred for this family growing.

Nowadays, their mother blatantly curses him with painful curses just to get her way, sometimes Orion reprimands her, and sometimes he stands idle as it happens. Things were very much different than a few years ago. His mother has only gotten stricter, with Polaris making sure he did nothing to warrant her attention that would have him punished.

Polaris, at one time, more specifically last summer, had tried to stop his mother from hurting Sirius. It was the first time he actually stepped up to stop the madness. His mother had slapped him, which sounded around the room after he stepped between her and Sirius. Well, at least it worked to some degree. It was strange. His mother even seemed slightly resentful. She had acted as though the whole situation had not happened at all and pretended as though Polaris wasn't walking around with a bruise on his cheek.

She had never looked one bit apologetic to Sirius, and she had done way worse than slap him. Perhaps it was because he was the youngest, and Sirius was the oldest. Then again, it was similar with Regulus. There were rarely any moments he got in trouble, having grown out of being foolish enough to warrant such a reaction, but if he did, she never looked sorry, more so proud as if she was doing him and Sirius a favour.

His mother had left the room, leaving him standing there with Sirius on the floor, trying to get his mind around what had just occurred. He was surprised his mother actually let it go. Sirius would have expected his mother to force Polaris to leave so she could continue being her cruel self. Even though she had his Polaris, she still left the room.

After his mother had stormed away, leaving Sirus and himself in the room. Polaris had stood there, seemingly surprised, not knowing what to do. That had been the first time his mother had ever done that to him. She had raised her voice… but never laid a hand on him as she had just done.

He had disappointed her, and he felt resentful for that. It was Sirius' fault. Why couldn't he just stop talking? It truly was not a complicated solution… yes we all have opinions, but sometimes some opinions are better kept.

Sirius had stood up shakingly, trying to regain his balance. He placed his two hands on Polaris's shoulders and stared and him with a strange look in his eyes, something Polaris hadn't seen before.

Sirius wiped his brother's tears, then hugged him with a small smile, whispering a thank you, thanked him for sticking up for him, then made him a pinkie promise once again, something Polaris hadn't been asked to do in a long time.

Sirius had made Polaris pinkie promise never to intervene again. Sirius didn't want his brother to get hurt because of him. He didn't need that on his conscience. He was the older one, so he'll protect his younger brothers until hell freezes over.

Polaris just stared at his brother. He wanted Polaris safe… yet there he was, thinking how he hated Sirius for being himself. He felt regret for his thoughts and obliged with the promise, but he wished not to feel his mother's wrath ever again.

He was always the 'perfect' one in her eyes, though it wasn't like it had ever happened after that.

His father and mother ended up having a huge argument once Orion had noticed the bruising on Polaris's left cheek. He had never seen his father so angry. It made him wonder why he rarely stuck up for Sirius when he was the one always on the end of mother's rath. Sirius had noticed it too.

The eldest son couldn't help but feel annoyance… his mother had outright tortured him, with an unforgivable, yet his father ignored his screams, yet there the man was, in a yelling match with their mother for a 'slap'.

Polaris just knew Sirius wished he wasn't born into this family; it was obvious even without him telling their mother how much he hated the House of Black, he would rather have been born to a family of muggles.

Deep in thought, Polaris found himself bumping into something.

"Ow", he murmured, and he clutched his now sore nose. He looked up from the ground he had fallen onto, seeing that something was someone, Sirius.

Both his brothers were home this week, just as they were last week. They were given a two-week break for their Easter break.

"For someone so smart, you'd think you could dodge a bit better", Sirius voiced out jokingly as he held out his hand to help his brother up.

Polaris glared up at him as he took the offered hand, lifting himself off from the ground he had fallen onto.

He dusted himself off, "Being smart has nothing to do with being able to dodge things, especially when the person isn't attentive to their surrounding area, but of course, you wouldn't know that you're a Gryffindor", He spoke haughtily.

Sirius barked out a laugh, "You make it sound like Gryffindors are stupid! I'm the only Gryffindor you've had the pleasure of knowing."

"Yes, you're correct, and after having the 'pleasure' of knowing someone of your calibre, I don't think I'd want to get to know any more of your kind. They seem like trouble".

"Nah, they'll be the best friends you could ask for if you feel like living life on the edge", Sirius said with a wink his way.

"Living life on the edge? I would rather be in the centre, away from the edge. If I get too close, I will fall, and there's no coming back from that."

Sirius looked up in thought, then looked back at me with a smile on his face, "Sure, but those friends wouldn't let you fall alone. They'd fall with you. You can't guarantee that there won't be a situation where you'll be far from the edge. That's what makes a real friend, not those snakes that would just watch as it happens".

"Oh, really, and what if they're Ravenclaw friends then," he asked, rolling his eyes. Since when was Sirius deep.

"Well, I wouldn't say they'd fall down with you, but they'd find a way no matter what to bring you back up, which is probably smarter than jumping in with them…"

"Yeah, yeah, enough with the metaphors and stuff. I hope you know what day it is," Polaris drawled, crossing his arms and sending his oldest brother an expected look.

Sirius grinned, "Happy birthday, Pol."

Polaris smiled at the stupid grin.

Sirius grabbed his arm and dragged him towards his own room, "I actually got you something, I mean, it's not much, and I wasn't sure if you'd like it or not".

'Interesting Sirius usually just gave me sweets; I'm guessing he's not planning on giving on it this time.'

Once we reached his room, he let go of Polaris's arm and went rummaging through a random box.

'Why did he have a box? That is like the most random thing to have in your room. It's not like we're moving or anything.'

"Ah, here we go. I got this from a muggle store the last time I went to muggle London" Sirius handed him a thick novel, and he held it unsurely.

'Of course, he went to muggle London, and of course, he gave me a muggle book. I'm not even surprised he isn't worried about mother finding it. He enjoys living on the edge... Gryffindors.'

"You decided to get me a muggle book?" Polaris asked. He wasn't even sure how he was supposed to act. He hadn't exactly read a muggle book before…

Even so… his brother saw it fit to get him a book. Sure, he had loved reading, but that was before. Now it is more, so a 'like'.

He stopped staring at the book and looked back at Sirius's face. He cleared his throat and spoke again, "Mother… she'd- you know, not be happy about this" Polaris spoke quietly.

He was pretty sure he was never going to actually read this book, but he'll keep it, just to show his appreciation to Sirius for trying to give him a gift he thought he would like, but if he really was his brother, he would already know he wouldn't want something like this. Perhaps it was sabotage… No, Sirius wouldn't do that.

Sirius groaned, "Seriously? I get you something for your birthday, which I never do, might I add, and that's what you got to say? Muggle book? And who the heck cares what mother thinks".

'I do...'

"No, you're Serious", Polaris spoke after a few seconds of silence, with a straight face.

He watched as Sirius went hunched over, stifling his laughter. Polaris couldn't help but smile at the scene.

He stood straight back up, taking deep breaths.

"Thank you, I'll actually read it… well, maybe if I get bored", Polaris spoke again. All of which was a lie. When he gets bored? He would much rather take a nap if he gets bored.

He looked back to the Novel. It was a simplistic cover, a mixture of dark blues, light blues and Black, with different patterns printed onto it, no picture, just colours. 'No longer alone by Rachael Stones, ' the title read. He let out a sigh. Nowadays, having to read seemed much more like a duty, which wasn't fun.

"What's it about?" Polaris asked, looking up from the book.

"Well, I think it's supposed to be a message type thing, maybe something about not feeling as though you're alone in the world".

"Ah, and what if I don't understand half the things written in it because I don't know much about muggle terminology".

"For Merlin's sake, you're just trying to find a way out of reading this book. Pol, just read it", Sirius spoke again as he sat on his messy bed.

'Right, I'll take it with me to Hogwarts… Corvus will have a laugh at that.'

"Thank you," Polaris said once again.

He headed out of his room, but before taking the last step out, He took a quick glance at the messy room and spoke again. "You should really clean your room, you're 15, turning 16 this year, you'd think a 15-year-old would know how to clean their room or maybe for your birthday I too can get you a book, one that entails how to clean a room".

As Polaris left, he heard Sirius yell, "No one asked you!".

'Sirius's room only gets messier by the year… it's unnerving.'

--

Polaris walked out of his room, heading towards the kitchen after he hid the novel away in one of his secret spots, he definitely didn't want to be on the other end of their mother's wrath if she did find it, but he doubts she'd be able to tell it's a muggle book, although she wouldn't be all that happy that she won't recognise the name 'Rachael Stones' as a pureblood name.

'If that does happen, I'll just tell her the 'house of Stones' is an Australian pureblood family. Tricking mother is sometimes too easy.' He found himself snickering.

He finally reached the kitchen, only to be grabbed from the side and his hair to be ruffled.

'No! it took too long to tame my curls' looking up to the towering figure, he saw his brother Regulus.

"What's got you thinking so hard, birthday boy? Another maths equation?".

He narrowed his eyes, "Of course not. You make it seem as though I don't think about anything other than educational stuff," Polaris drawled out in annoyance. He threw his brother's arm off of him and started to try to set his curls in place once more.

Regulus snorted, "Oh, then were you thinking about girls then?" he questions teasingly.

Polaris scoffed, puffing his chest out, "Of course not. Why would I? there's nothing special about them".

He could never understand Sirius's obsession with them. He even has posters of basically half-naked muggle girls on his walls. He's refused countless times to remove them when he was told to.

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you'd rather a book than having to talk to a girl any day, not even just a girl, basically anyone, I'm sure".

He smiled at the banter, "No, I would rather take a nap, but I guess reading a book as well will do as long as it's interesting. Sure, people are nice to converse with, but books can also express emotions and speak to you through written text. Did you know reading reduces stress by approximately 68 percent? I don't see humans reducing my stress levels"?

Regulus raised a brow at his brother as he sat down at the table in the middle of the kitchen. "Well, no, I can't say I knew that Pol", Regulus drawled out.

"You know I wouldn't be surprised if you get sorted into Ravenclaw but also disappointing. I'm sure neither Mother nor father would be all that surprised either…."

Just as Regulus spoke, a brown owl flew in, dropping a letter on the table, then proceeded to gracefully landed on the arm of one of the chairs.

Polaris's eyes widened as the letter slid across the table closer to where he was stood while Regulus watched in amusement. Racing towards the table he was standing afar from, he grabbed the letter as though it would disappear any moment.

He ran his fingers over the invitation made of heavy parchment. He was still in slight shock.

'I've finally gotten my letter. I was really going to Hogwarts in only a few months.'

Polaris tore the red seal off the envelope to open his letter, his heart racing as he skimmed over the neat writing.

Dear Mr Black,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress.

"Kreacher!" Polaris called out. With a crack, the elf was standing in front of him, "Young master called", Kreacher croaked out.

"Bring me a quill and a piece of paper" within 4 seconds, Kreacher was gone and back again with what had been requested.

He smiled widely as he sat writing, signing his name, stating he would indeed be attending Hogwarts. He sighed in delight as he folded the page and then placed it into an envelope.

"You were waiting for me to finish", Polaris stated obviously towards the patient owl. He held his acceptance letter in the air, which the Owl then flew towards the outstretched arm to take the letter with a hoot, and then it was gone.

Polaris slammed both hands on the table with excitement, unable to help the grin that appeared on his face.

"Dear brother of mine, did you know I will be attending Hogwarts?" Polaris directed toward Regulus with a wide smile on his face.

Regulus stopped himself from laughing, "Yes, brother of mine, I think I noticed".