68 The list

-Noble freezon guard pov-

I love my job more than I could ever have thought possible…. My name is Ronny and I was a soldier for the crown at one point in my life having dozens of battles against the kingdom of Johto's forces under my belt, survived multiple ridiculous commands almost wiping us out with suicidal missions that were merely to add to a nobles "prestige" while he sits safely on the back lines, and even worse…..but I was "dismissed" because i "insulted" a noble by not having my head low enough when I looked at him…..a few words to the king and I was in the slums, losing everything I ever worked for...

I've never liked nobles….but I did respect the royalty before that took place, I lost everything because of some snooty noble took offence I was taller than him...and the king obliged his stupid request because he was there for a negotiation of some sort….

That was 6 years ago before I was recruited to join young lord storms "little town" and life has never been so great…..I helped train his men and Pokémon so they would always be prepared for any blood soaked battles…..and they all took to it like a magikarp to water for our lord…..I found my place serving the only noble I could ever respect...

But not long ago our lord had a run in with a big gang in the capital and decided to end it with a decisive strike…..which I was actually put in charge of leading...and it was a bloody battle...mostly for our opponents though, we actually had no deaths to my shock…..our men are truely elite…..well after that our lord purchased and rebuilt a large part of the slums and turned it into true a beacon of light for the common man in the capital….

And of course where there is light there is shadow, but this shadow came in the form of greedy nobles wanting their "piece"…..but our lord would never let that happen, so minor struggles began for awhile…..but it calmed down…..sort of…..but that's when our lord decided to "take a shit on their pride" and invented "bouncers" and "the list"…..and that's when I truely from the bottom of my heart started loving my job…..

Noble "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT ON THE LIST!!!! WHAT LIST!?!?"

Ronny " sir please calm down….your name isn't on the list…..so we can't let you in…..I wish I could help I really do….you look like an upright fella, but we just can't let anyone in noble freezon, it's for the elite of the elite, so we have a list and your not on it…..I'm sorry my hands are tied…."

Noble " DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM!?!?"

Ronny " calm down sir….how could I possibly know who you are?….. you're not on the list"

Our lord had instructed us on how to handle nobles who try to come into noble freezon, basic rules, key words to help us truely anger the nobles without insulting them….. it's genius in how simple it is….and how furious it makes nobles when you keep using those certain words….

Step 1 : tell them to calm down as many times as you can while making it sound natural and not forcing the situation…..

Noble " if you don't let me in this instant I'll have you hanged!!!!"

Step 2: show no fear in front of any "threat" and remain completely neutral….

Ronny " calm down sir….and who would you have take up that task sir? I need a name…."

Noble "what??"

Step 3: along side telling them to calm down as much as possible also mention the list as much as you can….

Ronny " I need the name of the person or people you plan on sending to accomplish that task….I need to see if their names on the list or we won't be able to let them in either….."

While telling him that I shuffle through some papers on my "clip board" to make it look official….

Noble "HOW DO I GET ON THIS GOD DAM LIST THEN!?!?"

Ronny " sir calm down, to be on the list you would have to be the elite of the elite…as I said our lord doesn't just let rabble in here….there are standards to get on the list"

Just as I was speaking "team orphan" shows up looking like begger children, their only role is to show up when nobles try to get in an make the situation worse…..just for "shits and giggles" as our lord calls it..

So the team of dirty little "street rats" makes their way to up us and and let's us know he's "on the list"

Street rat " my names Salva, I'm on the list with 3 guests accompanying me"

I pretend to shuffle through my papers and nod to another "bouncer" as one of my men unhooked the red rope cutting off the entrance and gestures them inside with a nod….and the nobles whole face goes from red to blue…..

Especially after salva turned back to look at the noble with a disdainful look and looks him up and down then turns his head with a haughty snort and a small chuckle and keeps walking….oooo the nobles about to faint from anger…..

Noble " WHY WERE THEY ALOUD IN!?!???….NO!!!….I WANT THAT FILTHY STREET RAT BROUGHT TO ME IN CHAINS THIS INSTANT OR IM GOING TO HAVE ALL OF YOU HUNG!!!!"

I'm thankful the lord gifted us with these black "aviators" to cover our eyes…..we are supposed to keep it "professional" at all time and while I can keep my face steady…..my eyes are about to pop out of my head trying not to laugh….. gotta focus…

Ronny " sir calm down, you're being irrational and uncooperative…. You don't have the authority to request that from us..."

Step 4: question their authority when given the chance, our lord told us it's pretty much the "nuclear button"…..what ever that is….

Noble "YOU!?!….AUTHORITY!?!?…..MY AUTHORITY?!?...YOU'RE QUESTIONING MY AUTHORITY!?!?...…YOU FILTHY FUCKING COMMONER DARE TO QUESTION A NOBLES AUTHORITY!?!?…."

Ronny " sir calm down…..I know it can be frustrating to not be on the list….but I'm just doing my job…..there's no reason to get hysterical ...if you wanted authorisation to have a chance to possibly be on the list all you needed to do was ask... it's a very simple procedure, just some questions to get an outlook on who we are potentially letting on the list and a quick check up to make sure everything is ship shape….easy peasy…. It's the only way to potentially get on the list"

Noble " YOU!?…..WHAT!?!?….I...I CANT!!!!….IM GOING TO!!!…..CALM DOWN!!?!…"

He seems to not be able to put a sentence together in his anger, he's now purple and i can see all his veins bulging as his lips turn blue...wow he may actually die of anger….. I love my job….

The only reason his two guards haven't attacked me would be my king ranked Stoutland and the king ranked Musharna behind me….. I've had Stoutland for years as my partner through thick and thin, but I only got a few more Pokémon as soon as I joined with with lord storm... Musharna isn't mine….she's technically lord storms as she hasn't "bonded" with anyone but she's happy to help out sorting decent people out in noble freezon.

And nobles don't really try and strong arm their way in to much now…..bad things happen to them and their family's when they try….

Somehow the noble squeezes out a sentence through his teeth….. with a lot of effort might I add…

Noble "...how...do I get on the list....."

I can hear His teeth are grinding and his eyes are almost bulging out of his head…..this has to be some sort of record…..let's do how far into the "procedure" he manages to make it….

Ronny " sir you need to calm down…..I can see you're upset with not being on the list and not having any authority to seek what you would think is proper justice ….but I'm just doing my job... so the procedure to possibly have a chance at being looked at being put on the list is rather simple…. We'll start with some simple hypothetical questions ,just basic everyday questions….there are no right or wrong answers…..just answer truthfully and calmly and you'll get through this…."

Noble " fffffiinnneee"

He seems to only be able to talk through his gritted teeth hahah…..

Ronny " ok question one...you're house has been invaded by Johto kingdom spies...they have your family hostage, and plan on executing them to take you out of the game…..but…..they said johto would surrender unconditionally if you could insert 8 cucumbers into your rectum using only the spit of your head butler as lubrication...what do you do?"

This is just a random question our lord thought would be random enough to through him into a loop….it's not supposed to make sense….but to make him feel confused and enraged….

Noble "WHAT!?"

Ronny " calm down sir…..it's just a hypothetical question...there's no judgment here…..we just have to see how you would handle a hostile situation to find out what kind of people who would possibly have a chance at being potentially considered to have their name on a piece of paper that's anything even close to get on the list…..did you need me to repeat the question?"

Noble "NoOooo….I would….do it…..to….save….my...family…..and protect….the....kingdom..."

He managed to get that out through aggressively clenched teeth…..he's starting to sweat…..and looks to be in pain…..I don't think he would last much longer….

Ronny " very good sir, as I said there are no right and wrong answers and there's no judgment of your private activities here…."

But all of the "bouncers" out front turned to him as he answered and silently stared at him….a very judgmental atmosphere…..

As I dip my quill and write on a blank piece of paper i mutter under my breath but just loud enough for him to hear

Ronny " aggressively homosexual, possibly sexually molesting his male servants….cowardly with no sense of honour and horribly foolish….."

He seems to want to reply but can't do anything except making strange noises as his eyes are bloodshot and he seems short of breath…..

Ronny" alrighty let's move on ... so…..your wife and daughter are currently in young lord storms manor in the capital having a threesome with the man…. and young lord storm managed to ejaculate 5 times in your daughters Vagina, and makes your wife eat it out of her for his amusement while he takes his lubed cock and delved it straight into your wife's ass....the question is...who is the 3rd most powerful noble in Sinnoh Kingdom…"

He seems to be leaning over slightly having trouble breathing...

Ronny " sir?….. if it was the question let me rephrase it...so…..hypothetically if at this very moment while you're here trying to get on the list, your daughter is currently gargling young lord storms fat nutsack in her mouth while your wife is trying to swallow his length while telling him how small your cock is and how you're a failure as a noble with no authority and no one respects you in any way, shape or form…..if you had to list the top 10 most powerful people in the city, who would they be?"

*THUMP*

Ooooooh down he goes, and we didn't even get to the cavity inspection or the public see through curtain "jizz sample"…..not to mentioned the 6-8 months wait time for potential approval after all that…..but no noble has ever made it that far...they either attack, pass out from anger...or storm off swearing revenge…..

Normally my head would be in a noose for even thinking a fraction of this stuff but our lord has assured us that it will be fine…..and it's honestly worth the noose to have this job….god I love this job....

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-Gideon pov-

Gideon " HAHAHAHAHAHA....holy fuck....Ronny you fucking legend...."

I'm currently peeking from around the corner of the house across the street I bought for "team orphan" I was going to come out earlier but I wanted to avoid Salva...that kid is a fanatic fan, like uncomfortably so... keeps taking about how I'm the Jesus lamas second coming or something…..and how he's going to destroy my enemies...like some sort of super aggressive Mormon...

I'm next to the building losing my shit at how Ronny just fucking destroyed that noble, man those finishing questions just took the cake...I know I only just finished a fuck session without Cynthia and Anna….but I'm kinda down for another now…..

I WOULD have gone into noble freezon to find some random tail but I don't want to run into that kid...I can't handle him….. and I'd say Cynthia and Anna would still be to sore and worn out for another round….. Hmmmm what to do….well I was going to visit noble freezon just to see how's it's going but that's a bust now….

I guess I'll just head home…..I'm heading back to little town tomorrow to pick up my mons and head over to see what's the deal with those snorlax, maybe we can come to some sort of agreement….

So with that in mind I started making my way back to the mansion to get a jumpstart on tomorrow…..and to smoke a few blunts while I'm at it….

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I can't seem to get onto the popular page of when you search for #POKEMON anyone know why?

Also if you enjoy the story share a comment, leave a review…both are appreciated and I may not reply to them all but I guarantee I read them all…

I've actually re uploaded my original story to join a writing contest and could use some support…..so for the next few days if you wouldn't mind throwing your stones at that so I can get a decent place instead of this novel

If I win the contest I'll do 2 chapters of this a day for a week

It's also called Tavern : it's time to settle down but if you have 2 vote for the one that has (not contest) in the tittle

Thanks for the support