79 Lama tacos

Time passed by quickly as the girls finished up showering and came back down and me being pretty baked slowly devouring every taco in the immediate area with an almost uncomfortable amount of lust like passion sprawled out over a lounge chair …. I swear these tacos were crafted by the hands by lord arceus himself....hehe….hahah…..HAHAHAHA!!

The girls seemed a little confused at my random outburst of laughter and just Cynthia took a quick and crunchy bite of one of said tacos and after a little moan she questions " what's so funny?"

I laughed for a few more minutes I managed to calm down a little but not entirely as I answered " could…pfff…..could you imagine a lama trying to make tacos…..Ahahahaha" I managed to get out what I thought was so funny and Cynthia and Anna looked even more confused but chuckled a little regardless….probably more amused at my amusement than anything…..but then it hit me….a fantastic idea!!

"Logan!!" I think I shouted that a little louder than I wanted too as it startled the girls a little but Logan was cool and collected….he looks to have regained a little spirit in his eyes…this task should takes his mind off his trip to the medicine store thing….

" ok, first Logan…..are lamas real?" I don't know if they exist here so best to ask first so as not to embarrass myself…

"Yes my lord, they are indeed real" great or my plan would have fallen through before it even began…. "Ok, I want you to go and buy some lamas and find a way to train them to make tacos….this is a very important task"

Everyone just looks at me as if I've lost my mind….. even the ever stoic Logan shows an almost confused look….well not really, he's pretty much a robot….but I can tell he is confused….but he nods all the same and goes to see himself out to start on this epic task…..but I had another thought…

"WAIT!!"....again everyone looks at me with a critical eye….why though, I couldn't tell you…." Logan...are alpacas real as well?" I'm asking because while normal animals exist here not all of them from earth do….like the naked mole rat doesn't exist….I remember I checked it out after I met this nobles wife at some random meeting with pops called Kim bissle…..wife of baron bissle...and after I laughed at her name for a good 5 minutes, I got hit with some random flashes of nostalgia…..Kim bissle sounded a little like Kim possible….and I loved that show….and that show had Ron who had a naked mole rat called Rufus…..so naturally I wanted one….. so I sent my people to different kingdoms to find me one…..long story short they don't exist….

But Logan brought me out of my mini flash back with his ever stoic voice " indeed my lord, they exist as well"...nice…..

" and in your personal opinion which one of these two majestic creatures spit in peoples faces less..." and again the room is filled with confusion…. I still don't know why though …..this is a legitimate question…..

"I.....I'm not quiet sure my lord....I don't think that question has ever been put to the test…."...fair enough I guess, but I'm going to find out though

"Ok change of plans...buy some lamas AND alpacas and have some of people put them into seperate groups and look after them for a set period of time…..take a survey and which ever animal spits in peoples faces the least is going to learn how to make tacos….."

Yeah...this will work…..I can dress them up as arceus and have them make tacos…..a truely genius idea if I don't say so myself…..but this might be one of those plans that sounds better while baked and really dumb while sober..... but I've already committed to much time on this plan, there's no backing out now or I'd look like a fool….

"I will see it done my lord..." Logan takes off again to see my vision come to life…..as the girls just give me a weird look before getting back to munching on some tacos…..

I spark up another joint and gives a few last lingering thoughts to my lama/alpaca/arceus taco making scheme with a few chuckles before I put it out of my head and start thinking about when Ricks going to turn up.

I already sent metagross back to dead man's land to pick up the crew minus gyarados…..mainly due to how I know gyarados would react to hearing the news and I don't want to have to deal with a apocalyptic nuke spitting canabalistic sea monsters rage induced blood thirst of everyone and everything that has ever looked at me funny... he's bot as bad as bellossom….but I can just pick bollossom up and carry her around when she tries to murder everyone and that usually settles her down…..can't do that with my big fish buddy and while I could return him to his ball…..I don't like limiting his freedom…..so he can get the news after we have dealt with it and just before we unleash him onto magikarp cove.

And here you might be thinking it's more than overkill to have this many champion mons against what's coming as one of them could butcher everyone of those poor sods who signed up for this little suicide mission…..but fuck that noise

At worst it holds up my plans for dead man's land a week or two but I'm not really in a hurry…..I have all the time in the world…..and I'm paranoid enough to think they have secretly somehow got a few champion mons on their side but you know the saying of rather have than not need than need and not have so I'm gonna have my crew at my side till this is sorted...the snorlax crew will be fine holding the fort till they get back.

So while I'm contemplating wether lama god tacos would be a hit amongst other miscellaneous stoned thoughts Rick pops in with a few guys to start up my retaliation for the shit those little piss ants are going to try..

"My lord I have arrived with some of the people who would be in charge of certain operations for your response to this unprovoked attack those maggots are planning...this is head of security Ronny head of security for noble freezon...and this is salva….I know he is young my lord but he has shown considerable talent when it comes to aptitude for any kind of mission he always performs above expectations and his loyalty is second to none I assure you…."

Ahhh fuck it's that kid…..he's way to intense and I'm to stoned to deal with him at the moment...I probably shouldn't have gotten baked before a big meeting like this…..but spilt milk and all that I guess…..

"MY LORD I PROMISE I WILL BRING VENGEANCE AND DEATH TO ANY WHO WOULD HARM YOU AND YOUR INTERESTS....I AM HONOURED TO BE CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK!!!"

Holy fuck he's already started….no warm up or anything…..straight into fanatical screaming….he's so passionate it's hard to look at him…..I've spent months avoiding this kid and Rick just brings him straight to me….I'll try not to make eye contact and veer the conversation so he doesn't have to be involved….

"Cool story bro...hey there Ronny how's the nobles at the gates treating you?.."

"They are ignorant and hateful as always my lord...and I love every second of it...it's almost a dream come true for me to abuse the nobles openly like this and I can't believe you even pay me for it...no better job has there ever been my lord….."

He has a big cheeky grin as he speaks showing just how much he enjoys telling those egotistical dummies no and then mentally and physically abusing them in the forms of "standard questions" and "cavity search's" all for a "chance" to be placed on a list that doesn't exist…..and if it didn't they wouldn't be put on it anyways….

And suddenly there is another pop and all out eyes are drawn toward it….pops sitting there at his desk still working on paperwork, none the wiser for what's happened...I don't think metagross told him anything and just secretly grabbed him and all his shit with him from the storm lands...….that's pretty funny….

All of us spend the next minute in silence watching the man not look up and continue to do paper work…..almost like we've all come to a secret agreement to see how long it takes for him to realise he's been kidnapped…

Not long after without looking up pops ring a little bell on his desk to summon a servant….and by some weird confidence Logan chooses to come back through the doors at this time…and without even looking up my father speaks " please make me something to drink…..this paperwork will be the death of me I swear….and it's kind of warm in here all of a sudden…so open a window would you…"

Logan just looks at me and I just shrug and he promptly replies with a " yes lord storm…." And head over to the cabinet to make him up a bourbon on the rocks, drops it off at his desk and walks over to open a window….

All of us are still silent watching all of this and the paperwork just silently continues until dad takes a sip of his drink and looks up and does a spit take…..all over his finished paper work practically ruining it….while simultaneously spilling it all over his unfinished paperwork that would have taken half a day to organise and now it's in shambles as he also falls sideways off his chair bringing everything down with him….and starts coughing and spluttering….but eventually calms down to the sound of my trying to get air back into my lungs from laughing too hard…. "Good lord Gideon!!...what the heck is going on!?"

I spend a few seconds calming down again…..to just look at my old man with as much seriousness as I can muster being as high as I was "pops we gotta talk….Sorry about all that but to be fair I only asked metagross to pick you up…..I didn't realise he would just kidnap you….but he's kinda in a mood right now so it's hard to blame him I suppose...so yeah…..sorry…..but come over here and take a seat we got a bit to talk about….."