4 Part 4

My thoughts on my future seem to just get thrown up in the air

All I have to say is I don't care

I gave up on that back before I turned eighteen

But still, it seems like the ones I love push all these tasks on me

I walk around all day with all these tasks on my shoulders

Not to be rude but why am I the holder

Of all their pain

Guess they don't seem to see that I do carry pain of my own

But still, these tasks and problems just keep getting thrown.

Look at the ground around me

And all you'll ever see

Is the person I want to be

But it seems to get harder and harder to see

That perfect life is the one that I had to delete

But the people around continue to stair

And don't seem to realize that life's just never been fair

But they keep asking what happened to the old life

I look them in the eyes and say that my life is always changing with a price

Why don't yall understand

I'd be willing to give you my plans

Just to see you smile

Even if it puts me in denial

But soon it catches up to real-time

When that happens seems like I just committed some sort of crime

Why don't you look at the ground

Don't you see the blood all around

I don't think y'all see these words come out of my mouth

I'm trying to tell you that my lights about to go out

The blood that you see

Its the blood of that perfect me

The person I'll never be

But still yall think that I'm perfectly fine

And living a life that's so defined

Well that's all a fake

When all I seem to do is break

If you could see my heart

You may finally understand why it falls apart

Most of yall don't seem to know how to take this

The words that I say can be harsh and I hate it

But that's from the years of life that were extremely dark

That's what happens when your life falls apart.