1 i'm stupid

fuck how do I even start this fuck it let's go every morning my first thought is "should I kill my self"or"i'm so useless""i'm a waste of space""I'm a piece of shit"ESC I started having these thoughts when my dad or care taker is what I should call him because he isn't my real father my real father killed himself because of me when I was born and I learned that right before my care taker died and yet I still thought I deserved to call him father even though he died because of me. he had a lung condition and the more stressed he got the more it got worse. this is around the time I stopped going to school it got so bad he couldn't even walk around anymore because I was such a piece of shit I caused him so much stress because of my dumb ass he warned me but I didn't listen I thought he would live forever and when he died I sorta gave up just stopped doing anything just needed to get this off my chest thanks for reading