1 061. The blocked memory

"Ah Jun, you can speak, it doesn't matter, just say what you want to say, just like in a dream, it's okay."

Sister Liang's gentle voice came melodiously, but Gu Jun's heart was still tense, and the gory death process of the two victims flashed before his eyes.

The old lady's surgery went so far as to break her collarbone with a wire saw, while Zhou was in charge of the saw, and he was in charge pulling the old woman's deformed limbs. The sound of sawing bones and the fading wail of the old woman's voice, the gradual lack of need for his pressure, the old woman did not move at all....

And there was the little boy, whose little body could not exert much strength, struggled and cried until he died.

Dying together, dying together....

Their distorted faces that had lost their blood, their dilated pupils that had lost their look, seemed to be torturing his soul.

Aren't you a doctor? Why didn't you save us? And put us through so much pain?

"Ah Jun, Ah Jun?" Liang's voice came again, this time with a commanding quality: "If you are uncomfortable, stop imagining, breathe deeply, come back to a sense of relaxation in your own body, leave the situation, breathe, and relax..."

"No..." murmured Gu Jun contradictorily, "I do have something I want to say to them."

"Then go ahead, say as much as you like." Sister Liang was in no hurry to remove him from the situation and moved on to the therapeutic phase: "They're right there, they'll hear you."

Gu Jun was still silent for a moment before he finally spoke up: "I'm sorry, I couldn't save you. To be very platitudinous, I, as well as Master Zhou, and the others have done our best. I'm sorry for making you suffer all that pain for nothing... I hope you can rest in peace..."

"Yes, they will understand you." Liang consoled, also with her authoritative and trusted words, the treatment dispelled the shadows within him: "Ah Jun, doctors are not omnipotent, we are all just ordinary people. We are only human. In order to heal the patients, we do make them suffer sometimes, but you just did what you had to do, don't blame yourself."

Although this statement is just a cliché, when people are in a hypnotic state, their suggestibility is significantly increased, and they even accept the hypnotist's suggestive instructions uncritically.

Therefore, these messages from Sister Liang would be more effective for Gu Jun to accept, thus achieving the therapeutic goal of changing cognition and eliminating anxiety.

Sister Liang went on to say, "It is good to have empathy, but you cannot be blinded by it, because you are a doctor and you will face many more lives and deaths situations in the future, as long as you stick to your medical ethics, it's good to have a harder heart. Take care of yourself first before you can save others."

Sister Liang watched as Gu Jun's facial muscles became more and more relaxed, so the treatment was effective.

She looked at the GSR data and the EEG waveform on the screen, and both showed that Gu Jun was calming down. She had a better idea of what happened, and in her mind she had already added to the test report: "The subject was very concerned about the outcome of the surgery (level 8), felt guilty about the two deceased patients, had high levels of empathy, and did not have any negative emotions."

Being subjected to being this concerned about this matter, it was rather a high impact situation for him.

"Sister Liang, you can understand, right..." mumbled Gu Jun, "I have really tried my best."

Now he felt much more comfortable in his heart, some of the dark clouds that had been weighing on his heart for half a month had dissipated, no wonder he looked like a sponge just now....

After Gu Jun had relaxed for a while, Sister Liang asked him to imagine a high-impact situation in which he dissected the body of his best friend, Cai Zixuan, with his own hands.

The result is exactly what she expected. Gu Jun's reaction is not too strong and he even jokes: "The top of Cai Zixuan's skull is really high quality, without the hair covering it, it's really clear." If it weren't for the fact that the equipment indicated that he was still in a hypnotic state, Sister Liang would have thought that he had woken up.

She's kind of witnessing the results of the personality test in Gu Jun's file, which is really strange! People who are highly psychic usually imagine situations that are easy to get stuck in and act more agitated than others, like Wang Ruoxiang who is a B+ psychic, so the influence of psychic is balanced back when calculating S-value.

So when calculating the S-value, the effect of psychic influence will be balanced back, but Gu Jun's A+ is still stable, so his S-value is very high.

However, there is a reviewer's comment in Gu Jun's report: "It is not clear whether the presence of abnormal memories in the subconscious is related to high psychic perception".

Sometimes, this surprising talent is an abnormality in itself.

"Ah Jun, when I was a child, my mother used to tell me to eat more," Sister Liang said, beginning her next assessment, "Does your mother do that too?"

"My mother she... "Gu Jun's breathing suddenly quickened again, "I don't quite remember her. Sister Liang, you must know my background...but I don't know anything, I'm not lying, what Lai Sheng Corporation, what they're working on, I really don't know."

"I don't have the authority to look at your entire file, and I'm not sure what you're talking about when you say Lai Sheng Corporation."

Sister Liang softened her voice so as not to offend his psychological defenses, "I do know that you may have an abnormal memory in your subconscious mind - like a false memory that someone else has brainwashed into it, or a lost memory that someone else made you forget. Couldn't you find it? You can give it a try."

Gu Jun is a bit resistant, but also a bit eager to try, what could it be? If he can really find out like this ....

"Okay." He said, "I want to know the answer too."

"Here we go then, just stay relaxed and imagine listening to what I have to say."

Sister Liang let Gu Jun relax for a little while before she began formally, "There is only pitch blackness around you, and you are in that pitch blackness, but you see a light in front of you, and you walk slowly, one step at a time, and there is a door there, and the light is coming in from behind the door, and behind that is a memory that you have had a vague sensation, but you can't remember it at all. You walked slowly towards the door and went out..."

Gu Jun closed his eyes, feeling that there really was some obscure light in front of him, a red door.

He walked step by step, out of the red door, into the light....

"Tell me, what did you see?" Sister Liang asked.

Gu Jun walked in the fog of light and shadow, looking around, unable to see clearly, his breathing gradually became heavier, his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes sockets frozen....

"Is it somewhere you've been?" Sister Liang made a little hint to guide him, "Is this your house?"

All memories have scenes, because human perception occurs in specific scenes and no special attention is needed at the time, and unconscious memories are formed naturally in the brain. Once the scene is evoked, the memory will appear. This may also be one of the reasons why the sense of fait accompli arises.

As Gu Jun listened, a feeling of déjà vu swirled in his mind, and the lights and shadows that could not be clearly seen took on some shapes and images....

"It's a room." He mumbled, "I'm in a room."

"What's this room like? Is this your room?"

Gu Jun looked around, this is a warm and elegantly decorated children's room, there are a lot of colorful pictures on the wall, some of them are crooked, like children's drawings....although he felt familiar, but he could not tell where this is, have he been here before?

"A small room with lots of drawings..."

"Drawings? Who painted this? Is anyone painting?"

After hearing Sister Liang's question, Gu Jun suddenly saw some hazy lights freeze again and described, "There was a little boy sitting on the floor, maybe a few years old, drawing things on paper with a watercolor pencil."

"Who was that little boy? Do you know him?"

"It's like it was me..." Gu Jun mumbled, as he looked at the memory screen, "It was me... my mom was there, sitting next to me. ...."

He heard another voice ringing, not from Sister Liang, but from this memory, and it was his mother asking him, "Xiao Jun, how should you write the word "tree"? Will you tell Mom?" His mother handed him another piece of drawing paper that had trees on it.

"Um!" The little boy gladly nodded, took the drawing paper and put it on the ground, then took his watercolor pencil and scribbled vigorously on the edge of the trees on the paper, "It's done."

The little boy threw down his watercolor pencil and lifted the drawing paper up high with both hands, in high spirits.

"Ah... "Gu Jun's eyes snapped open and he let out a pained, dazed cry....

It's a foreign language, the little boy wrote "tree" in that kind of foreign language.

He grasped his head, but the relentless fragment of memory continued before his eyes.

The mother immediately took the piece of paper in her hand and looked at it with a strange fervor in her eyes, looking at it for a while, then handed the boy another piece of paper: "What about this word? How do you think it should be written, Worm?"

"This!" The little boy took the paper, put it on the floor, picked up the watercolor pencil and scribbled again.

Another foreign language....worm, worm, the same word....