sun_writer
I can feel a lot of strong emotions from these characters, and I can feel that the author is trying to build a beautiful atmosphere filled with emotional depth. Unfortunately the work suffers from a lot of broken English and some pacing issues, rushing from thought to thought. I hope the author is able to find an editor to help sort through these issues and make edits. I have no doubt there is a beautiful story waiting to be told here but right now it needs a little more help.