2 This Should Be What Hatred Feels Like

Fu Tingyuan stood under the light with a smile that did not resemble a smile playing on his lips. His perfect features and gentle smile made him look amicable and approachable, yet Luo Nanchu only felt cold and trapped from watching him.

"Oh? Who are you gonna play with if not with me?"

Upon hearing this, Luo Nanchu lifted her head slightly, revealing her petite and delicate chin. She smiled as well.

"Anyone but you."

Under the light, the man's smile faded instantly, and a faint icy darkness glinted in his long, narrow eyes.

Luo Nanchu lifted her head slightly to observe the man in front of her. He had been divorced from her for half a year, but had only grown more noble and gorgeous. The thought of her hustling for her livelihood almost to the brink of death made him pleased as punch.

"Fu Tingyuan, I have a question for you," said Luo Nanchu out of the blue.

Fu Tingyuan replied mildly, "Speak."

"You're spending money to mess with me right now when you could have done so in the past free-of-charge. Are you out of your mind?"

These words were spat out calmly. Upon seeing maliciousness flash across Fu Tingyuan's face, a satisfied Luo Nanchu opened the door and walked out.

It was especially cold in the bitter winter night of Tong City.

Luo Nanchu struggled as she stepped from the warmth of the Western restaurant into the blowing winter wind. Gathering her thin clothes about her, she marched into the dark, silent street.

All the lights had already been turned off, with only the 24-hour convenience stores still open to patrons.

She could not help but think about her failure this time. She wondered how Jie Ling would react when she found out she had offended Fu Tingyuan.

Her thoughts flowed uncontrollably to Fu Tingyuan's hazy smile under the lights of the booth. It seemed to have been mocking her.

That's right. She was still a virgin after being married for three years. He had not touched her even once. Thinking about how he specially sought out Jie Ling to arrange a blind date after they divorced made Luo Nanchu feel extremely frustrated. This was his naked and humiliating revenge.

Luo Nanchu was unable to pinpoint if she was shivering from head to toe due to the cold or her anger. She could not bear to part with the money to call for a taxi. Thus, she could only wrap her arms around herself tightly as she sprinted back home.

Luo Nanchu only arrived home after running in the winter night for half an hour, and she felt frozen solid.

Her home was a basement. It was really tiny and could only fit a single bed, so she had to clean herself at a designated shared shower. She could not bear to rent a larger space for herself because the money had to be used to pay for Luo Yi and her father's medical bills as well as Luo Zhiying's school fees.

She had to protect the people she had let down and do her utmost to compensate them. Thus, she could not fall.

At the very least, she had to stay alive until Father woke up, until Luo Yi had his kidney transplant, and until Luo Zhiying graduated from university.

Luo Nanchu only felt complete exhaustion as she lay on her little bed. In the darkness of the room, her mind conjured up the image of Fu Tingyuan's face once more, and she felt her heart twist in pain. She opened her eyes. She needed a smoke.

But she didn't have any.

When she was chasing Fu Tingyuan, she decided to quit smoking because she thought Fu Tingyuan did not like girls who smoked.

In order to woo him, she had done so many things that seemed foolish and ridiculous when she thought about it now. Currently, the remembrance of every single thing made her feel disgusted.

Luo Nanchu recalled her thoughts. A mocking smile painted her lips as she held a hand to her heart and curled up into a fetal position, doing her best to resist the waves of pain that bombarded it.

It had been a long time since her heart hurt. She thought she had already forgotten Fu Tingyuan. However, this merely transient meeting was making her relive all of her past feelings again.

She felt like this on the day Fu Tingyuan had thrown the divorce papers at her; the divorce papers which, left unsigned, would mean that her father would not receive money for his surgery.

That day, Fu Tingyuan had sat in the office chair that was once her father's and looked down from above as she knelt in front of him. Sobbing embarrassingly, she had begged him to give her money for the surgery to treat her father's stroke. In response, he threw divorce papers at her which robbed her of all her possessions.

Half a year had passed since then, yet on this winter night, she could still feel the throbbing pain she had felt that day and could still recall the experience of being unable to hold a fountain pen properly in her trembling hand.

This should be what hatred feels like, Luo Nanchu thought.