1 Chapter 1: Unable to speak

If theres something that you regret the most. What was it?

If theres some decisions that you regret the most . What is it?

I regret everything.

I regret loving him.

I regret expecting love from them. Father and brother.

And i regret hurting her.

I have already paid my sins. Dying infront of the community. Burned alive.

It was hell.

Death was my only salvation so i accepted it without fear.

And i never thought that i will be reincarnated to the world where modern things exist. It was like a dream come true.

I was given a loving family. A doting parents and two lovely siblings. And a very loving and gentle grandma.

It was like a perfect gift that i never thought that would be given to a girl like me. A sinner.

Ive cherished them. Their warmth that ive never experienced in my entire life was fullfilled by them.

I dont want to be separated from them. They are my treasures.

They are my only light.

But why?

Why?!

I am here again!

In the life that i dont want anymore. The life i resent the most.

I am not afraid to die again but i dont want to be here anymore.

Please return them to me!

Why am i back to my previous eighteen years old self where two years from now I will be killed.

"Why?"

"Younglady you have to eat you did not even touch your breakfast and lunch and you keep refusing to call the physician if you are really well-"

"I will eat"

"Thank godness" she let a sigh of relief.

It was Loina. I remember her. The only person who cried for me. My memory was alittle bit blurry from that day but im sure she the only one who cried for me.

"Loina from now on you are the only one who is allowed to enter my room understand?"

"Why- ofcourse i understand" she smiled. A gentle smile. Im glad. I never notice her before but this time its different. I will cherish her. Just like how i cherish my family.

"Tommorow was your fiance's birthday celebration what color of dress you want to wear?"

Hah!

It was tommorow. From my previous lifethat i was humiliated. I was his fiance but he chooses to escort her instead. I threw a huge tantrum and almost ruined the celebrartion. I have hated and hurt her. But he-

"No im not attending"

I dont want to suffer the same humiliation before.

"Are you not really feeling well?"

"Mnn can you pat my head till i fall asleep?"

I know its sounds too childish but it was grandma who always do this for me. I miss her gentle touch.

She was a bit surprised.

"Of course my lady"

🥀

Something is off.

It did not happen before so why now?

"I am here hereby within the presence of the emperor. The Crown princess will be living in the Emperial palace within the order of the Emperor. The Crown princess is expected to arrive at the palace tommorow"

I can not defy the order from the Emperor. What am i going to do. And what that suppose to mean? We are not yet married.

Im depressed. I dont want to see him.

Loina was looking at me worriedly and confusedly. It was just a week a go when i was clinging to the crown prince and now im refusing to see him.

It was just my past self. I dont have the same feelings that i harbour towards him.

I just want to go back. Even if its just a borrowed life. That body i possesed in that world was maybe a baby without a soul. I just woke up with in a babys body. At first i was really frightened but the warmth from them was something that i craved in my entire life. It was selfish, i thought. I just want to be their real family. So i did my best to satisfy them so that they wont abandon me just like what my cold blooded father and brother did to me. And then in an instant everything was taken away again from me as if its was just a sweet dream and then came back to my real nightmare.

Its been a week since i never set foot on the inperial palace since i came back in my eighteen years old self. I know that the Emperor and Empress dotes on me. The marriage between us will bring more benefit for them. An alliance from the daughter of a powerful duke in the Empire. And besided they owe something big from our family.

The duke only cared for power. He dis not cared about his image even when he was called the Demon Duke.

It was then our family was referred as a wicked or Demons descendants.

I was called as a witch.

"mylady?"

Ah i was spacing out.

Argh! I dont want this. My chest hurts just of the thought of seing him again. Its not like because i still Have feelings for him but my hatred towards him.

"Yes im coming"

The order from the palace was s sudden so im not shocked at all that my cold father was now want my presence. I can remember i didnt even saw him at my excecution.

He blames me i know. For mothers death. She gave birth to me just to be dead.

So father hated my existence. Just like how he hates the empress. Mother almost sacrifised her life for the Empress before and father blamed her that if something happened to my mother he wont let it off. And who would ever thought that mother will die because of me..

"I greet the duke of the Empire ..Father.."

"It was about the emperors order-"

"I wont make a fuss so dont worry about it" i cut off his words that doesnt even show a tiny bit if worry for her only daughter.

No is should better say,

"Im not going to bring any disgarace to the Gardners household anymore so " i stop for a moment and look at his eyes to show my sincerity.

"Dont worry anymore " I said as i turn my back and didntwait for his anwer.

(The duke was frozen in his seat unable to speak. The eyes that always shine as if begging for his attention was now replace by a cold emotionless eyes. The clashing of his teeth was heard on the room. The duke who always ignores her daughter can not understand the feeling that was urging from his heart. She was like become a different person. )