4 Chapter 4

…and then Alex went back home, to absolutely… nothing.

Oh, the rest of the school day went fine. They had some more fun just talking about whatever at lunch. The last classes of the day weren't so bad. He got to hear Grover rant about the difference between satyrs and fauns, whatever those were and had one more talk with Coach Hedge before walking home.

Back up the stairs and through the door. No one was home. Just him. Alex. All by himself without Dad to go and play some baseball at the nearby park, or his friends that now weren't one floor below in the same building.

He locked the door behind him, set his bag down and went to his room.

No more sounds of classroom chatter or the cheers from gym class. It was usually this time Alex would sit at the table and talk with Dad about his day, then he would talk about his but that wasn't the case this time.

Instead, he got dressed into some more comfortable clothes, and did some homework half-hoping Dad or someone would come check on him, but nope.

Then he made himself a simple, but nice, chicken curry for dinner which of course was delicious. After that, he watched this really good movie where a drug-addicted girl takes advantage of a mentally challenged boy… for three decades. Then he went to bed.

Was it a good day? Was it a bad day? He wasn't sure. It was just… a day.

==========

Alex woke up the next day and what do you know; same breakfast, similar clothes, more school, more Grover and Hedge, no Dad… rinse and repeat.

Even the people he met on the first day, he had just met them and learned their names, you know? Sure, they knew him now, but that was about it. Alex was sure he was now known as the 'athletic guy'.

He was kind of hoping to maybe grow a foundation here but he moved on from being the exciting new kid pretty quickly. People still said hi to him in the hallways, and they asked how he was doing but that was it. Essentially, just surface-level small talk. At least Grover talked to him despite it usually being the weirdest thing Alex had ever heard.

Hunter hadn't bothered him since the day on the obstacle course. And Alex could always rely on Hedge to greet him with an enthusiastic welcome which he had to admit was comforting.

Then, again, he returned to an empty home. He sat alone, he studied alone, and he ate alone.

Maybe taking the subway to Queens for a hangout? Oh, they're busy… guess he'll try another time.

It was pretty much like this the rest of the week. Nothing good, nothing bad… just nothing. The only thing that was different each day was the gradual decrease in the number of people he felt he had beside him. Dad was gone. That's the reality he was reminded of every time he opened that apartment door…

One day, coming home from school, Alex just sat at the dining table and listened to the singular noise of the clock as it ticked every second. His hand moved to the ring on his finger as he just stared at the seat at the head of the table where Dad would sit.

He could cry right now. He felt like crying. He wanted to cry… but what was the point?

No one would come to his aid anyway. Crying wouldn't do anything other than just make him more miserable. He had to keep it together. He had to keep going, for him. He couldn't break. He had to be like Dad, who had every reason to, but never broke.

He never broke…

"Pops! This so so cool!" He looked up at his dad in awe. "You're officially a certified ass-kicker!"

He just chuckled and scruffed Alex's hair which was already messy to begin with. As usual, he just stood high and mighty with his long, dark graduation robe. Today was the graduation of his class, and no one could've been more proud than Alex was.

Jonathan pinched his son's cheek. "Your dad's always been an ass-kicker, pipsqueak."

"But… now you get a diploma for it."

"Ha!" He crossed his arms. "I don't need a diploma to say I'm the best."

"Sinclair! Come on, let's go!" a voice in the distance called.

"That's me, Alex. I'll see you soon."

"I'll be in the front row taking pictures, Dad!"

"Make sure you get my best angles!"

He jogged into the countless chairs with the rest of his fellow graduates whilst Alex had a permanent grin from ear to ear stuck on his face. It wasn't long until the ceremony started as everyone began to take their seats. The audience watched from a little amphitheatre just before the stage where they gave the speeches.

Alex sat and listened to those endless words and monologues of the ceremony, all the while just scanning the dark-robbed sea of graduates for his dad. Once he saw him, that sense of pride grew even stronger.

Jonathan stood, back straight, chin-up and eyes forward, just like he always taught his son. He, plus the other ten, were the only men in the entire class of hundreds of women, but he looked mightier than anybody else around him.

Watching him made Alex feel strong like he could do anything.

When his dad lined up to receive his diploma, Alex, with zero shame by the way, broke the ceremonial silence with a 'Go dad!' as the rest of the audience stifled a little laugh along with some of the professors and graduates. His dad kept composure as he shook hands and received an award with grace.

Once the formalities were done, the families were finally able to go down and hug the new graduates which is exactly what Alex did.

"Woah, watch the death grip there, Alex."

"You won an award, Dad! Why didn't you tell me!?"

"Had to surprise you somehow!"

"Mr Sinclair!" An older gentleman, whom Alex quickly identified as the guest speaker of the event, walked through the crowd and over to where he and his dad were.

He wore a fine and shiny regalia, with all sorts of different patches on it. His face wrinkled as if it was stuck on a permanent scowl.

"Professor Hartwell." Dad greeted him so quickly that Alex thought he was going to punch the man.

Hartwell politely took his hand in a handshake. "No need for that, Sinclair. This is your day. I just wanted to congratulate you on this tremendous achievement."

Dad smiled. "It's a tremendous achievement for all of us. But thank you, sir."

The professor seemed to ignore the comment which Alex thought was a little rude. After all, Dad was right. What he did was no different to what all the other graduates had to go through.

"Is this your boy?"

"Yes, sir, this is Alexander." His dad looked at him. "Say hi, Alex."

"Hello," Alex waved with a smile. "I liked your speech earlier."

The older man chuckled. "You should be proud son, what your father has accomplished today is truly extraordinary, especially for someone like him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alex blurted out, an eyebrow raised.

"Haha! I like this one, Sinclair."

"No, seriously, what do you mean 'someone like him'?" Alex repeated.

The professor was smiling, Dad was smiling, but Alex wasn't. He just didn't like what he was saying. It was like there was something he really wanted to say but didn't and instead hid behind those weird half-statements.

"No, I think you meant something else-"

"Thank you, Professor Harthwell," Dad interjected. "Your words are too kind. Now, if you'll excuse me, I wanted to show Alex around."

His dad proceeded to smile once again as he ushered him away.

"Dad, what was that?" Alex asked.

"It's fine, Alex."

"Don't you think he was being a little weird?"

"Alexander," Jonathan said through his teeth. "please, it's alright."

He continued to usher Alex through the sea of bodies. It wasn't long before he was called out again, this time by a group of men, probably his friends from class.

They all wore the same regalia as his dad. They were beckoning him over to their little group huddle. He happily walked over, still holding Alex as he hugged his fellow graduates.

"Well, gents," one of them addressed the group, "we finally made it."

"Got that right, brother," another said.

"I'm just glad it's fuckin' over."

"Knock it off, Watson." His dad punched the man on the shoulder. "I got a kid here."

"Oh, my bad, Sinclair." Watson winced slightly as he rubbed his shoulder. "Sorry about that little man."

"How old's your kid?"

"6!" Alex answered with a childish smile before his dad could.

"6?! He looks like he can take on people twice his age. What are you feeding him?"

"Not as much as they feed you, Biggie," remarked Jonathan as the whole group burst into laughter.

"Alright, alright, alright," one of them cut through the noise, "let's give it up for Jonathan Sinclair. For managing to pull through as the top student. Unexpected but deserved."

What was with that 'unexpected', does that need to be there?

The group resounded in a collective 'here, here' except his dad who just smiled.

"Guess the Uni delivers the award to anyone these days," one of them joked, which only got a few laughs before he got kicked in the balls by the only woman in the group.

"Shut up, Chris," The nice lady said. "Even I'm more than a man than you."

Again, more laughter. Everything about the exchange was off to Alex. It sounded like nice things but he still got that same feeling he got from the Professor, these covered words. Were all the adults like this?

He heard stuff like 'Heck of a thing you've done at your age', 'It's a tough life you've picked, good for you for taking it on' or 'Can't believe you managed to balance all that on your own' whilst subtly gesturing towards Alex.

On the drive back home, Alex tried voicing these opinions to him but he was just left more confused.

"Just leave it, pipsqueak."

"What do you mean, just leave it!?" Alex exclaimed in sadness. "Why were they all mean to you? It's… it's — it's bullshit!"

"Hey!" His dad started to raise his voice. "You better watch that tone, boy."

"Maybe they should watch theirs!"

"Enough!"

Alex watched as his dad's face shifted. He'd been scolded before, but this was new.

"All I'm saying is," Alex continued, trying to sound mature. "why aren't you doing anything? I know you can hear it too — the stupid mean words. You could easily shut them up. Kick their ass!"

"That is not what I taught you."

Alex threw his arms up. "Oh, no, you're right, I'm sorry. Instead of standing for yourself, you just sit there and smile."

"It's not that simple, Alex. You're too young to understand."

"I understand better than you the shit coming out of their mouths," He muttered, which he immediately regretted as his dad shut him up for the rest of the drive. It was safe to say Jonathan didn't want to hear anything else.

As you can imagine, the rest of the trip was dead silent, and once inside their old apartment, Alex was told to go straight to his room. He grudgingly obliged and was tempted to slam the door shut but knew that would only make things worse.

Just say it straight up! God, it's so frustrating…

Anyways, after a while, Alex guessed he should probably apologize to his dad. He expected him to be in his room, but when he checked, he wasn't there. The house was dark, with the only light coming from the direction of the kitchen.

Alex peeked his head around the corner and saw his dad sitting alone at the dining table, his head held down supported by one hand. He was… crying.

Alex, froze up, without knowing what to do. But the wooden boards didn't take kindly to that and creaked when he tried to move.

"Alex?" His Dad called out. He could hear him hastily fixing himself up.

"Oh, hey Dad." Alex managed to say. "I just came to grab something from the fridge."

"Oh, yeah."

Alex could see his dad's usual stoic face pushing through, doing its best to conceal the puff in his eyes.

"Oof, yeah. We definitely need to do some grocery sho-"

"-hey, uh, thank you for being there with me today."

"Of course, Dad. Sorry for being stupid at the end." Alex smiled, hopefully covering up the mix of emotions going inside of him.

"Don't. It's alright. You didn't do anything wrong."

Alex sighed. "It's just the way I could see them talk to you. They were just so-"

He was interrupted mid-sentence as his dad took him into a full hug, squeezing his rib cage as hard as he could.

Alex hugged him harder. It was the best feeling ever.

"Congratulations on the graduation, Dad."

"Thanks, pipsqueak."

His dad was strong. He was resilient and tough like no other. Without him, Alex didn't know who he would be. He was there for him and always protected him from anything he could… but who was protecting Jonathan? Who was going to be there for him? So, that was the day Alex made a promise to himself…

That was the first time he saw his dad break…

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The noise filled the room without missing a single beat as he continued to just sit in silence. Still, alone, no one to talk to, no one to hug. Nothing.

Alex could no longer help himself. Giving in, he slumped over the table, burying his face into his arms.