Why Am I A Slice of Pizza?

My head felt very light, almost as if I had taken a bad fall. I went to scratch my ass but it felt really coarse. I began to rub my bum firmly, my pants were gone! I turned around to see my backside and all I saw was pizza crust! I began to scream in the middle of the street as I tried to look for my car. For some reason, the dirt road seemed a lot longer. I tried to reach for my phone, but when I felt around there was only cheese and marinara sauce. I needed to check for my private parts, but as I ripped off the cheese from my skin, all I saw was a doughy lump. I began to profusely cry and kneeled down to the ground. Why did this happen to me. Why am I a FUCKING pizza slice...

All these thoughts began to corrupt my head. Was I dead? Is this a dream? Am I in hell? Did someone lace my White Claw with acid?