14 Insecurities and Fear

He couldn't help but ask his cousin brother. "What is your boyfriend doing? Where did you both meet? How long were you in the relationship? Who asked who out first? What is his favourite food? Has he tasted Min Min's cooking? Did he like it? Does he know baby-doll? Are you all friends? When can I meet him?" Young Jae fired questions after question at Chin Hae.

"Are you going to keep on asking questions or give me a chance to answer? My peanut-sized brain forgot all the questions already…" Chin Hae told his curious cousin while looking at him fondly.

Moon Chin Hae stayed in the hostel most of the time, but that doesn't mean he never went back home. Even when they lived under the same roof, they never spoke. All of a sudden, his cousin became someone he shows affection to. He was surprised as it came natural and he didn't need to force it. Shaking his head while thinking how unreasonably detached he was to his cousin, for the crimes their family did, he sighed.

"I will go in the order I want… I know Kim Bin since the day I joined my boarding school when I was in 6th grade. So, I was 12 or 13 years old when I had a crush on him. But I got close to him when I knew baby-doll when I was 13. He was her brother's best friend. He is the second heir of the Kim family, who is a big shot in the textile industry. I asked him out 8 years ago when we were 15 years, but he agreed to be my boyfriend after dating for a year and a half. Now he is an assistant to a cameraman in the US and learning to become a cameraman under him. He is the same age as me. I don't even know when I can meet him. So I am not sure when you both can meet. Maybe one day in the future because he will be in my life till death do us apart…" Chin Hae tried to answer whatever he could remember.

Baby-doll who was lying in-between the two cousins were listening to them talk about Kim Bin with a smile. Young Jae was about to ask more when Chin Hae's phone rang. He answered the call. "Yeoboseyo!" he said hello smoothly.

"Aw… Yes… we will be there… Congratulation!!!" The excitement in Chin Hae's voice made Young Jae curious whereas baby-doll was lying down on the bed without being bothered.

"oh yeah… I understand…" the excitement in his voice disappeared and filled with sadness, making Young Jae frown when baby-doll sat up to looked at him silently. After the call, he turned towards the two curious speculators.

"Good news… Kang Chin Mae just called. His wife gave birth to a son, and both are happy. He was asking whether you can come over baby-doll?" Chin Hae told them with enthusiasm.

Young Jae looked very happy hearing the news and tempted to scream in happiness but held the urge down.

"But he didn't want you to come and visit your nephew..." Baby-doll stated with a frown.

"It is understandable. I need to be here to take care of Young Jae." Chin Hae tried to reason with her.

Young Jae said "I can manage on my own. If I need anything, I can ask the nurse."

"Kang Chin Mae still think of you as a member of the 'Moon family.' That's why he didn't want you there. All of us know the truth and stop protecting your unreasonable twin brother." Babydoll's voice words sound like she was criticising Chin Hae, but with the void of emotions, Young Jae was not sure who was the one in trouble.

"Don't scold him. He has a reason to be wary." CHin Hae still tried to protect his twin irrespective of the warning.

"He doesn't need to be wary of you. He is lucky that I am happy to meet our nephew. But there is no guarantee that I would not break a bone or two to make him realise that he was wrong… Not now but soon" baby-doll said it casually. Her tone was as if they were discussing the weather and not breaking someone's bone.

Young Jae was sad with the turn of event. Even with a piece of good news, how did things turn to something sad and gloomy. He sighed, wondering at the possibility of becoming outcast as he was from the Moon family. He couldn't ignore the way baby-doll said Moon family. Irrespective of her voice being emotionless the hatred was evident when she said 'Moon family.' Her tone was a level high with something heavy hidden inside... Like anger and disgust. Young Jae can't help but notice these subtle changes. As he had to solely rely on his hearing to figure out what was happening around him, especially with the bandage still covering his eyes.

He couldn't help but feel that like how Kang Chin Mae Hyung never accepted Moon Chin Hae Hyung as a brother, would Chin Mae Hyung do the same to him? He was nice now because of the injury, but there was still a chance to think of him as a member of the Moon family and being nice with him could change any minute.

The hatred baby-doll had towards the Moon family was hard not to notice. So, would she also treat him the same way Kang Chin Mae treats Moon Chin Hae? He couldn't accept the thought even though they barely knew each other. That was when he realised that he didn't wish for a sister like baby-doll. He wanted baby-doll to be his sister.

The internal conflict was intense for Young Jae, and it was visible on his almost half-covered face. The insecurity was growing faster than one could imagine leaving him to the state of vulnerability. He didn't notice baby-doll preparing to leave while lost in thoughts. The fear of losing the newly found lovely family because of his brutal biological family made him helpless. The bile rose in his stomach, a strange pressure on his chest made him breathless with pain and want to scream to let the pain out.

All of it was solved in a gentle touch of ruffling his hair. He smiled automatically knowing who it would be.

"I am going to meet our nephew. Will be back soon. You can meet him when you get better. I will send Min Min to look after you once I settle things there. So that Chin Hae can meet our nephew." The soft voice made him feel relieved from all the pain and thoughts he went through in the last few minutes.

She said 'our' nephew. She included him as a part of the family. This made him feel belonged to this newly found family. When she said 'our nephew' he knew that she considers him as himself and not as a part of the Moon family.

He hugged her tightly believing that she would be able to understand his feelings.

Without knowing that in a few days, she would leave him soon and get busy with her own life.