Solitude & Shadows - Going Solo III

The journey took him nearly a whole hour. He was cursing under his breath at how big he was realizing the school truly was, when he suddenly saw her again.

Dark skin, blonde hair in a bob cut with one side pulled back with a pink hair clip. She was talking with some girls Ariyama didn't recognise. Then, as she looked to her side, her blue eyes met his ebony ones.

Ariyama's throat closed and he felt dread weight down on his chest. 

As Kazura caught his gaze, her face shifted continuously. She went from confused, then disbelieved, then aghast, then a hint of relief, before the anger set in.

Ariyama could almost feel the aura of fury wafting over to him with Kazura as the source. She spoke a few quick words to the other girls, then came trudging over to Ariyama, shoulders shaking and teeth gritted. She was pretty small, even for a girl her age, so she was only eye-level with Ariyama's chest. Still, she was intimidating beyond belief when she wanted to be. Ariyama's face burned with embarrassment as Kazura stopped in front of him and glared up at him. Before he knew what was happening, she sent a slap flying for his cheek. Flinching as the memories of that fight against the hooded man came flooding back, Ariyama reached out reflexively and caught Kazura's wrist just before her palm hit him.

This one made her angrier and she struggled to remove her hand from his grip. Clearly, his training was making him stronger.

"Hey, listen, Machi. If you wanna slap me, at least do it over there."

He nodded to an empty space behind a row of lockers, and begrudgingly, Kazura brought her hand to her side and stomped over to the clear space.

The moment Ariyama caught up with her, Kazura turned back to him and slapped him sharply. Ariyama winced with the pain flaring in his cheek and took a defensive step back.

"Ow."

"That's only half of what I wanna do to you, jerk!."

Ariyama looked down with worry twisting in his gut. He blinked, feeling hurt wash through him as he scanned Kazura's red face.

"Listen, Machi, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you in so long–"

Machi held up her hand, shaking her head angrily.

"No, I don't wanna hear it, Saato. Ever since… Ever since I heard about what happened to everyone… What happened to Yasuke-kun…"

Her voice broke and she clasped her hand over mouth, fighting back angry tears.

"You jerk. You JERK! I know you were suffering, but I was so… Dammit, I was so damn worried about you. Hell, I was even worried about Matsune, and I usually hate that popular bitch. But… why didn't you talk to me?"

Ariyama's heart cracked as he watched Machi shiver with fury and sadness. He'd never seen her be so serious and genuinely sad. Usually, when she was upset, it was played off as a joke.

"Machi, I–"

"Shut up! Just shut up, Saato-kun. I didn't even know if…"

Kazura shifted her weight onto each foot, left and right.

"I didn't even know if you were alive. I tried going to your house every day for the first two weeks – so did Kento-kun and Odomura-chan – but when your mom let us in, you wouldn't even respond to us when we knocked on your door or called your name…"

With shaking hands, Ariyama took hold of Kazura's small shoulders.

"Listen to me, Machi. I'm… so sorry I didn't talk to you sooner. Honestly, I spent almost a whole month just locked in my room doing nothing. I felt so, so guilty. Like, I was thinking, 'Why did I survive? Why not any of the others? Why only Matsune and I?' What was the reason that fate decided to take away my best friend from me, but leave me alive to suffer?"

Really, Ariyama only wondered why he alone survived. It was obvious that Matsune survived through her skills with her Enchanted Tool. And while technically, the same applied to him, why was it that he was the one who even reached the sword first?

Ariyama couldn't stop the tears brimming in his eyes and then leak down his cheeks, as he recalled those horrible events. His voice shook even more than his hands.

"I… didn't think I deserved to survive. To be honest, I still don't. If I could, I would swap my life for Yasuke's, or even Takemichi's. The guilt I feel for their deaths makes me feel almost responsible too."

Once again, another lie. He knew he was responsible, since he was the one who discovered the Shrine Gate, and was the only one who knew what to do to open 8t. If he hadn't done so, the group would've likely headed home and no one would've died.

He did it because he wanted his 'big moment', so people would like him for reasons other than his wealth, but ended up getting four people killed.

Kazura looked up at him with tears in her own eyes now. Sniffling, she reached up and held his arms with her hands.

"No… Saato-kun, listen, please. I'm… God, I was so damn worried about you. I knew you'd feel this way, even though I wished you wouldn't. Saato-kun, you can't blame yourself for what happened. I know I probably can't help you, not now, but this is how I feel. And I… even I feel a bit guilty too."

Ariyama stared down at her with wide eyes.

"What? How could you feel guilty? You weren't even there when it happen–"

"That's just it! I wasn't there! I can't lie and say I'm not grateful I didn't have to witness that horror that you saw, but I wish I had at least been there. Maybe… I could have helped in some way. And if not, at least I could've tried."

As Kazura began crying again, Ariyama looked at her with pity, a hole swelling in his stomach. She couldn't have done anything, but the fact she had said she would've tried made him a mix of happy and horrified.

He moved into her and pressed her slight body into his chest, wrapping his arms protectively around her shoulders. Shuddering with even more tears, Kazura wrapped her own arms around him, planting her face into his chest. Sobbing, she muttered into the fabric of his school shirt.

"Saato-kun… I was so worried about you. I'm so glad you're OK. Please, don't ever scare me like that again, got it?"

She was still trying to act tough, even with a red face and tears staining her cheeks? Just one of the ways Kazura Machi was so endearing. 

Once Kazura had quietened down a bit, Ariyama pulled back just enough to hold her at arm's length and look meaningfully into her pale blue eyes, which were red from her dried tears. 

Ariyama managed a small smile, and tapped her cheek playfully with his knuckles.

"Hey, it's OK, alright? Plus, it helps that you look cute when you cry."

Kazura averted her eyes, the redness of her face from her anger changing to the red of a small blush.

"Quit it with the flattery, dude. Just shut up and let me be happy you're OK."

That made Ariyama chuckle softly, and he let her go. As she rubbed her eyes again, she looked up at him defiantly.

"Just to let you know, I'm not apologizing for the slap. That felt damn good. In the moment, at least."

"And what about at this moment?"

Kazura adjusted her untucked shirt, shrugging her shoulders.

"Eh, I dunno. Every guy needs a smack once in a while."

Ariyama raised a brow at Kazura's cheerful smile.

"Machi, that's kind of a bad mentality to have."

"Oh well. You're still a jerk, so for today, I'm gonna ignore you outright."

Ariyama sighed and shook his head good-naturedly.

"OK, sure. Whatever you want, I guess."

Kazura paused for a moment.

"You know… I did hear some talks that you actually were seen around the school yesterday. What were you doing?"

Ariyama nearly dropped dead right there. 

Was she serious? Crap, there probably were others who just happened to notice him while he was surveying Odomura.

"I was… doing a thing."

"Alrighty. And do you wanna make up to me about the ghosting?"

"Absolutely."

Kazura's grin was like the shine of the sun.

"Awesome. Then, I'm tagging along with you while you do that 'thing'."