19 We're platonic right?

I'm shocked to say the least.

My mind struggled to mentally break down what happened out there.

Shawn Mendes almost kissed me.

Me.

The girl that he calls Clumsy. The girl who makes herself known to him as an embarrassment time after time.

I don't think he likes me, or at least, I didn't think so... although I noticed that he did try to impress me this whole night. Or maybe he was just being friendly and I'm obviously misreading the signs.

And I don't like him. And if I do, it's in the most innocent, platonic way, right?

Right?

He couldn't have wanted to kiss me. He even said that himself, it wasn't his intention. He probably just felt pity for me and gave me a pitiful kiss. Because that's all I'm good for, pity.

He just thought:

Oh, what a shame. Nobody wants this girl bacause judging from what I'm looking at, she's barely a girl. Her looks are mediocre and she'll probably grow old and alone. And because I'm Shawn Mendes and I can what I want, I can kiss her because I'm super cute, and have the perfect body, and the perfect eyes and the perfect voice and the sweetest smile and the most iconic voice and the hottest...

Wait, where I'm I going with this?

The memory of him nearly kissing me is already making me delusional.

And why would he kiss me when I'm not half as pretty as Camila.

Shoot.

Camila.

He almost kissed me while he's still in a relationship. He just technically cheated on her, with me. I guess Shawn is not the man I thought he'd be. He's just a player and a lady chaser. And I was a just another measly victim of his charms.

I feel like a second hand rag.

I sigh and collapse on my bed, not sure whether the last emotion I should fall asleep with is disbelief, shock, anger or a tinge of happiness.

×××

There was a heavy knock on my door first thing in the morning and I prayed that it wasn't Shawn.

I'm still trying to figure out how I see him and whether he's worthy of my forgiveness.

"Ms Chesterfield." That statement alone told me who was at the door.

"Morning Mal– Ms Salem."

She didn't greet back but she handed me a white envelope. "Pay day." She bluntly stated.

My second pay. I can't believe I was here for only two weeks, it feels like I've been here forever.

I was going to thank her but she walked out on me. I stuck my tounge out on her when she turned her back.

"Okay Shawn, let's get on to business," I heard her say from the hallway and my brain went numb. "you have to give your final presentation of the theme the tour..."

The bloody devil was there, looking as intoxicating as usual. In he's usual black jeans and boots. His wore a thin blue shirt that showed of his toned muscles.

His hair fell into his face, and he ran his hand through his hair right then we locked eyes and my heart dropped into my stomach.

"...talked about the lighting and stage directions but–"

"Clumsy?" He walked up to me and all the alarms in my head were ringing. I didn't know what to do, so I slammed the door.

I immediately half regretted my action.

"I'm sorry." I said through the door door.

Why was I apologising?

"I mean, I'm not sorry." I said again and this time I fully regretted my statement. What did that even mean?

"I should be the one apologising." He muttered.

"I know."

"Mendes." I heard Malificent snap her fingers. "What's happening there?"

"Nothing. Nothing important." I heard him say and my heart felt a huge blow from his words.

Yeah.

Whatever just happened between us was nothing. It was nothing important.

×××

I tried pushing this whole situation out of my head, while I sat on the balcony. I tried to make the situation seem like nothing important, but to tell the truth, this situation was far from nothing important.

I observed many different people around the beach to try to avoid thinking about him, but the thoughts of the 'kiss' kept resurfacing.

And the couple making out on the beach was no help.

I tried to drown those thoughts but, just like a floatie, they kept on coming back up.

There was an impatient knock on my door and I walked on to open it.

It was Laura. She walked into my apartment and started searching the cabinets and fridge as if this were her apartment.

"So I went around town," she bit into an apple she found in the cabinet. "and I was looking for vampire kind of clothing. Yesterday I told this guy that I do the emo type of shit, now he wants to meet up again. Because he thinks I'm actually into what he's into. I freaked out a little but then I realised that I was wasting my time. I forgot I lived on the same floor as a vampire. You!" She said, but my mind was so far away.

"Because I remember that day we flirted with Miranda? Yeah I saw your clothing and you have exactly what I'm looking for. Vintage type of depressing clothing, you know?"

"Take whatever you need." I sighed.

"What's wrong?" She asked, clearly not very interested in my answer.

I turned around not interested in her question either and got instantly shocked to see what Laura dragged in with her...

Shawn.

*Insert curse word here*