20 friends

A gasped a little, but recovered quickly. He wore a guilty look on his perfectly sculpted face.

"Hey." He mumbled, nervously running his hands through his hair.

"Um, Laura. I think I can help you find what you're looking for. You obviously won't find clothing in the fridge." I laughed nervously before dragging her by the hem of her blouse in the direction of my room.

"I'll just wait here." Shawn said awkwardly and he took a sit on the kitchen table.

There was obviously some unspoken tension in the room. And it's heavy, I really feel it weighing me down.

I got into the room and sat on the bed, the head throbbing, my heart pounding, my throat clenching. Suddenly there was no air to breathe. There was really no way to escape this situation, it's feels just like a horror movie.

"Are you going to help me or what?" Laura said, looking into the closet.

"Yeah of course."

I scrambled to the closet and pulled out my darkest clothing. Translation– my best outfits.

"These are perfect, they'll work just fine. But, I just can't decide which one screams– goth, more."

My mind was all over the place and Laura mindless banter was making it harder for me to think.

"What's wrong with you? You're paper white."

"I think I'm just feeling a little chilly."

"Cam. Do you know what I think?" She held my shoulder as though she was about to console me. "You need a tan." She sympathised.

Phew. For a moment there I thought that she would find out about me and Shawn. Thank heaven's she's not that smart.

"Oh." I said and sat on the bed then wiped a lone sweat of the side of my head.

"You know what? I'll take this one, it's not the darkest, but it's a tight fit." She took possession of my Kiss tee in her hands. Before she began skipping cheerfully to the door.

"No!" I screamed, not wanting her to leave me here alone with Shawn.

"No?"

"I meant, no. You could do better, I can help you decide which outfit is darker."

She laughed. "Cam. Poor, sweet, clueless, Cam. Just because I'm lending your clothes, it doesn't mean that you have good fashion sense. Get that idea out your head."

She tilted her head in laughter, then laughed her way out my room and out the door.

As soon as she walked out, I knew that my time had come.

"And Shawn," she hollered right at the the door. There was hope in my heart that she'd take Shawn along with her. "Don't forget to give me Charlie Puth's number. I texted him on Instagram and for some strange reason, he didn't reply."

"I wonder why." Shawn said with sarcasm.

"Right? There are some weird people in the world."

Take me with you!

I screamed inwardly and hoped she got the telepathic message, but all I got was the voicemail instead.

She left, for good this time and left the door wide open. I looked at Shawn, who seemed as uneased as I felt. It was somewhat reassuring knowing that. And I knew that the time had come to let it all out. Even though I'm still not sure what it all was...

Shawn, I..."

"Can I go first?" He quipped. And I replied with a silent nod.

"I know what I did yesterday was totally uncalled for. I crossed so many boundaries and I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. If I were you, I'd be mad at me too."

"I'm not mad at you Shawn." I said calmly and I saw hope in his firery hazel orbs.

"But I also don't know how I feel. Or how I'm expected to feel. Am I mind numbingly furious? No. Am I scared? maybe. Am I confused, yes. Definitely yes. Mainly because I'm really curious about why you kissed me."

"Clumsy, I don't..." he uttered. He was clearly ambivalent on what to say.

"I mean, it was a really dumb thing to do. It was a mistake--"

"That's just it, Shawn. You should  never say that to a woman. It can't be a mistake. You're practically just telling me that I'm not good enough. And that if you would, you'll take back that kiss. It's really hurtful."

"No, you've got it all wrong. It's not the kiss that was the mistake, it was the timing. I'm really bad with timing."

"So, what you're telling me, is that you'd have kissed me if the time was right?"

He played with his ring. "Under the right circumstances, maybe."

I laughed.

I laughed a nervous, flighty, stupid laugh. It is a defence mechanism I have. I was very flattered by his words. I couldn't help but swoon inside, but deep, deep down I couldn't help but think that he couldn't be serious. He was just saying that because, well, because he's Shawn Mendes.

"Why is that funny?"

"I just found it ridiculous that you said that. You know that that will never happen between us, right?"

"Why?" He asked with curiosity and hurt on the tip of his tounge.

"Because we're friends. Best of friends." I said histrionically.

"Really?" He stood up from his seat. "Do you really believe that?"

"Yes." I squeaked, of course I never fully believed the words I let out.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. We clearly have a good thing going on here, you know? Friendship."

"Of course. And we can't ruin it because of a kiss."

"Yeah. A measly kiss." He laughed.

"Well, that settles things then. Friends?"

"Friends." He agreed.

The awkwardness choked the both of us and I tried to ease things up with a handshake.

But...

He had his arms out to offer me a hug. So I dropped my initial offer for a handshake and went in for a hug. But he went in for the handshake.

So much for easing the awkwardness.

We then met each other halfway and went for a weak highfive. Noodles could have done a better job than us.

"Hello?" I heard a familiar voice laced in a Spanish accent asked with a knock on the door.

It was heard from down the hallway. We both looked at the door at the same time, the warm feeling in the air turned into a chill.

Now I felt stupid, and guilty.

"Here." He called before looking at me. "I'm off. For a date. With my girlfriend."

"Nice." I smiled.

Showing your teeth is still smiling, right?