19 Excuses and a Confession

"I wish I could, but I'm not that good at the game either…"

"I don't know how to play…"

"That was all just luck you saw there…"

"I'm not touching the game again…"

Hearing Kevin's words, countless rejections floated through Yu Pengkai's mind. But seeing Kevin's bright smile, one that was driven by none other than a passion for the game, the words seemed to be stuck in the back of his throat.

When he remembered how to speak, he found that he had long forgotten all the lies he had considered. "Sorry…" Yu Pengkai forced on a bitter smile. "I—"

DING! DING! DING! Quite literally, he was saved by the bell.

The words that had been dangling off the back of his tongue forced their way back down, and instead, he responded with a shrug and a curt "I've got to go."

Hurriedly grabbing his rock of a backpack from the floor, he turned away as fast as he could out of the classroom.

"Wait, are you busy right now?" Kevin asked, ruffling his hair and trailing behind Yu Pengkai as he made his way out of the classroom.

"Yeah," Yu Pengkai didn't even turn around, instead walking straight out of the door. "Sorry."

Outside, the corridors were packed with bustling students rushing to lunch. An eager freshman ran full steam ahead in the crowds, holding his roller backpack in front of him as he charged forward, almost as if pretending the backpack was a lawn mower.

"Part the seas!" The freshman with round glasses and a communist hat shrieked with strange energy, hurling between Yu Pengkai and Kevin. Seizing this opportunity of momentary chaos, Yu Pengkai walked a bit faster and rounded the corner, leaving Kevin behind.

He didn't know where to go. And somehow, among the crowds of students, he knew no one. Especially, as he scanned his surroundings, he realized that he didn't even have a place to sit for lunch. The more commotion around him, the more it accentuated his loneliness.

A couple were passionately kissing against the lockers. A group of girls were laughing about a novel. A small cluster of guys slouched against the wall, joking about something. Everyone seemed to be doing...well...doing something. And in the mosaic of a campus, there wasn't a single person that looked like they didn't fit. While it might not have been a perfect fit with trimmed edges, they at least had a place in the pattern.

As he waited in the surprisingly long lunch line, looking at the chattering students around him, the gapingly-empty feeling returned stronger than ever. Even with another life, could he really make it count? Or would he simply waste it away once more, cowering from all that he used to love? At least before, he was doing what he had loved. Now, he didn't even know if it was worth it.

"What would you like?" An older woman's voice sounded.

Yu Pengkai zoned back to reality, wondering how he reached the front of the super long line.

"You're holding up the line," the voice sounded again, this time with furthered annoyance.

Mumbling, Yu Pengkai squinted at the menu before hastily asking for a spicy chicken sandwich. With a small head shake, the lunch lady reached for a round tin-foil wrapped object and plopped it on a tray for Yu Pengkai.

Yu Pengkai shuffled back out, realizing that he hadn't wasted enough time at the lunch line. Moments later, he found himself standing awkwardly by his sister's car, examining the soggy mess that went by the name of spicy chicken sandwich.

"Hey, Kai!" Out of nowhere, the voice Yu Pengkai wanted to hear the least sounded. "I was hoping that I would find you here. Do you have some time now to talk about coaching us?" A now-familiar face accompanied the overly-enthusiastic voice, and the tell-tale red curls appeared.

Yu Pengkai made the motions to leave, racking every last brain cell in his body to think of a new excuse. Would he say that he had an assignment that he forgot? Could he say that his sister was looking for him?

"Hey man, I really don't know if I did something to offend you, but I really was pretty shook with your playing," Kevin's playful expression suddenly sombered. "Was it something I did?"

Yu Pengkai lightly shook his head.

"I know I'm not actually the best player, but I really do think you have a lot of potential," Kevin added. "If I had your natural ability to play like that on my first run, I would legit think of making it my future career. Like heck, if I was above average in any field, I would immediately make a living out of it." He shrugged, scratching his head.

For the first time, Yu Pengkai looked this boy seriously in the eye, their eyesight locking at an equal level. There was a little ember back there, the small flame burning away as Kevin declared his aspiration. Looking at such pure eyes, he suddenly felt a pang of guilt.

"If you practice for ten hours a day, you would also have such an "innate" skill," Yu Pengkai found his mouth moving without telling it to.

But before Kevin could question the logic behind that statement, a shrill ring cut off his thoughts. Truly, at Yort High School, every non-class minute was a race against time, all too short.

"Hey, I really do wanna figure out why you won't give it a try," Kevin asked, but Yu Pengkai was already on his way to class.

Staring at the unfamiliar poems on the board, all that floated in front of Yu Pengkai's mind was the game from earlier today and Kevin's words.

"Pengkai, what do you think you can contribute to this discussion?" Suddenly, he heard his name being called. "I think this discussion question is easily answerable and quite innate."

"Uh, I think it's about death." Yu Pengkai glanced through the paper as quick as he could, attempting to regather his thoughts.

"Yes, but is there anything specific?"

After taking a firm double take, he responded, "No."

The poem read to be nothing more than a jumble of words randomly strung together, and he found no true beauty in it. Or simply put, nothing other than Kings of Valor really intuitively made sense. Yu Pengkai sighed.

Finally, the last bell of the day signalled the end of school. Dragging his tired body and mind to the parking lot, the backpack seeming to weigh ten times than before, Yu Pengkai trudged to his sister's car.

"Hey, Kai!"

A string of curses flew through Yu Pengkai's mind.