Queen Bathsheba.

A Temperance Ballad. (Attributed to Sir Wilfrid Lawson.)

Grass widows and princes! a warning I sing,

Of the sad wicked doing of David, the King;

With Bathsheba, wife of poor Major Uriah,

Who was bathing one day, when the King chanc'd to spy her.

He was drinking up-stairs, and the weather was hot;

And her window was open (a thing she forgot);

And the stark-naked beauty had not an idea,

That while she was washing, a creature could see her!

She and her little sister were sporting together,

Enjoying the heat of the bright summer weather;

They bath'd in the fountain, and while they were washing,

Were romping all naked, and leaping and splashing.

What man could resist such an awful temptation?

He forgot he was King of the sanctified nation;

He was fill'd with delight, and lewd admiration,

And was mad for the raptures of fierce fornication.

Beware of the Devil, who seldom lies sleeping!

So while she was washing, and while he was peeping,

The King's living sceptre grew stiff as a rod,

"Nice mutton!" cried David, "I'll fuck her, by G—!"

So calling a page, he desir'd him to go,

And enquire all about her.—He answered, "I know

The lady your Majesty's pleas'd to admire,

Is the wife of the valorous Major Uriah."

His Majesty answer'd: "Go, fetch her! Be quick!

Much conscience, indeed, has a stiff-standing prick!"

The page ran to call her; she put on her smock,

And hurried to wait on his Majesty's cock.

One touch to her hand, and one word in her ear,

And she fell on her back, like a sweet willing dear;

He was frantic with lust, but she seiz'd his erection,

And put it at once in the proper direction.

She was girlish and lively, a heavenly figure,

With the cunt of an angel, and fucking with vigour;

He got her at once with child of a son,

And he said a long grace when the swiving was done.

So the lady went home, and she very soon found

Her belly was growing unluckily round.

"This an honour," said she, "I could hardly expect,

Your Majesty now must your handmaid protect."

"Never fear," cried the King, "I'll be your adviser,

I'll send for the Major, and no one's the wiser."

So he sent for Uriah, who speedily came.

But unluckily never laid hands on the dame.

King David was puzzled, he made the man tipsy,

But still he avoided the lewd little gipsy;

David laid a new plot, and his wish was fulfill'd,

In the front of the battle Uriah was kill'd.