41 Season 2 - Page Thirteen

Fun fact: Yujin almost became a celebrity but decided against it because she feels shy

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[Siren]

I opened the door and got surprised to see Miss Astrid chilling in the living room. Did I enter the wrong house?

"Oh. Siren, you're here." She greeted with her usual deep voice. It really contradicts her face but it somehow suits her personality. It's rare to have a deep voice for a female and I think that's really cool. "Your sister's in the bathroom."

"I didn't know you and Sorelle know each other."

"You were probably young at that time but I used to hang out here when we were in high school."

"Really? But..."

"What is it?"

I shake my head. "I can only remember the boy who used to come here. I think that was Sorelle's boyfriend at that time."

She laughed, to my surprise. "Is that what it looks like?"

"Ha?"

"Nothing. Anyway, how's school? You're a senior now. Any plans for college?"

"College? None as of the moment."

"Really? I think you have to decide now since time flies by so fast and before you knew it, you already graduated." I sit on the sofa while I listen to her. "What are your interests?"

Sleeping. But of course, I can't say that.

"Anything that caught your eye? Something you want to do for a long time?"

That caught me off-guard. What really interests me? Am I actually good at something? I don't excel in academics, I don't have a talent in singing or dancing, nor much more sports. I'd rather lie down than do something.

Wow. Thinking about it now, I sure am a talentless and hopeless one, huh?

"Don't pressure yourself too much, Siren. But you have to think about it. Something you want to do for a long time in the future. Because it's hard to be stuck at doing something you don't really want, you know?"

"Do you like teaching?"

Her face lit up and glitters seemed to spread all over her. Even if she won't answer, it's pretty obvious.

Will the time come up when my face lights up talking about something I want?

College, huh? Sigh. I don't want to face that yet. Can't I just be a high school student forever?

- - -

It's late at night but I can't seem to fall asleep. My conversation with Miss Astrid kept me up till this night. As much as I want to avoid it, I have to make a living for myself somehow. I can't keep on depending on my sister (though I think she doesn't mind), I have to stand up for myself, especially in the future.

I sighed and get out of my room to drink milk. Maybe it'll help me to doze off faster. I saw Sorelle busy doing something in the living room. There are papers and pencils everywhere. I hate to admit it but she looks really cool looking all serious like that.

"Is architecture hard?" I asked quietly.

"It depends on the person. As for me, I find it enjoyable so it's tolerable. Except for mathematics." She glanced at me for a while. "Why? You're gonna go for architecture too?"

"Not really. I'm just asking."

"I heard about your conversation with Astrid earlier. She's right, you don't have to rush. I want you to think about it carefully. I don't want you to regret it in the future."

"Do I... Really need to go to college?"

She stopped drawing but she didn't look at me. "It depends on you. Do you think college is not for you?"

I sighed deeply. "I don't know."

"I told you not to rush about it." She said before throwing a pencil at me. "You still have time to think about it."

I clicked my tongue as I catch the pencil. "But, will it be alright for you if don't go?"

"If that's what will make you satisfied, then it's fine by me."

"Then I'll think about it," I announced as I turn around to get myself a glass of milk.

- - -

The classroom is noisy as our subject teacher is absent. I looked around to observe them. Some are sleeping, some are playing around, others are studying and the majority are talking. I can't help but wonder... Do they have the same worry as me? Or unlike me, they already planned out their future?

"Is there something wrong?" Yujin suddenly asks beside me, disrupting me from my thoughts. I looked at her and saw her notebook full of rabbit doodles.

"Jin."

"Hmm?"

"What do you want to be in the future?"

"A vet!" Her face lit up. It's the same sparkle as what I saw on Miss Astrid's face yesterday. "I'm going to be a vet and then built a rabbit specialty store." She added with a wide grin on her face. "What about you?"

"I... I don't know yet."

She gave me a soft and reassuring smile. "It's fine! You don't have to decide for now."

They all said the same thing and somehow it annoys me. Can someone say a different word to me? Someone that would change my mind.

"You're going to be a vet, Yujin? That's cute!" Hana's loud voice echoes. Yujin nodded at her enthusiastically.

"And you?" I asked her.

"Me? I want to build a bakery so maybe a baker?"

"Can you even cook?" Lea butts in.

"That's why I'm going to college! To study baking!" She answered pouting.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't forget to tell me what will be the name of your store in the future, hmm?"

"And why?"

"So I can avoid it."

"SIREN!"

I laughed hard seeing her expression. It's really satisfying, teasing her like that. But even Hana has it planned out, huh? I feel like I'm being left out.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I announced and walked outside. I feel like I need fresh air.

Before I knew it, I am already outside the school building and is now heading to the gymnasium. I'll just keep walking until I get tired, I guess.

Minutes passed by. I think I walked enough. It didn't clear my mind but at least I feel somewhat at ease now.

As I am walking back to the classroom, I came across Peach. Wow. Great timing.

"Hey, Peach."

"Siren. It's rare of you to call me out first. What is it?"

I rolled my eyes and decided to ignore that.

"What are you going to do in college?"

"I'm taking a pre-med degree so I could take Medicine in the future."

"You're going to be a doctor?" She nodded. I sighed. "Must be nice to have everything planned out, huh?"

"Actually, that's what my mom wanted." I stopped walking.

"What about you?"

She smiled as she walk to bridge the gap between us.

"Honestly, I don't know what I want."

"So, you're just... Going at what you're mom wanted?"

Why... Why do I feel relieved that we're the same? We both don't know what it is that we wanted to do. It's not a good thing but...

"Probably. At least, I got to do something, right? What about you, Siren? What do you want to do?"

I clenched my fist. "I... Don't know either."

"It's a bad thing, right?"

"Ha?"

"Feeling like you can't amount to something. It feels bad... Right?"

I gritted my teeth. Why is it that she knows exactly what's on my mind?

"I don't want to rush. I... I have to take my time if I don't want to regret my decisions later on."

"Yeah, it's good not to rush but time doesn't allow us for that. Before we knew it, all of this is over."

"I know that... I know that already so you don't have to shove it in my face! Don't talk to me as if you're any different!"

She smiled again, much to my surprise. "Isn't it good? For once... We have something in common."

I sighed. "For goodness sake, Peach." I glared at her before fully entering the school building.

I heard Peach chuckling behind me. I just wish she'll just leave me alone but it's impossible as we're heading the same way. So annoying. Why did I even bother talking to her?

I turned around to face her one more time and she still has her smile plastered on her face. I glared at her and entered the classroom.

I guess talking to her was a bad decision.

To be continued.