6 Chapter 6

Michael, Aqua and Darkness stood in front of an open field, were they could see giant toads flocking about.

After the the bar fight in the guild, the party had been kicked out, along with several other adventurers while the place was being refurbished. The Dark Paladin party weren't banished from the guild, as the place was used to fights inside the building, but the guild wanted sometime to repair or replace the broken furniture and such.

The good news after that bar fight was that Aqua did get the last piece of steak.

The bad news was that Michael was sure he was severely envied and hated by cooks in the guild.

Oh well, problem for another day. Michael thought. Also something is off about that Chris girl. Although I can't my finger on it. Oh well, another thing for another day. Michael turned to face his companions.

"Okay, listen up. Today we are going to kill 10 Giant Toads. Aqua will deal with the first five, then I'll see how Darkness will deal with the next five." Michael explained. "Darkness, as a Crusader being an Advanced Job, and you must have been in a lot of battles, I know this sound too easy for you, but I would like to see what you can do in general."

"Very well, I shall show the Strength of a Crusader." Darkness held her fist in an inspiring manner.

"And Aqua, you are..." Michael stopped himself from saying 'Goddess'. "An Arch Priest and while you might not be combat oriented, please do your best, and me or Darkness will step in, if you need a hand."

"Hahaha, there is no need, Michael. Even if combat isn't my domain, against these pitiful monsters, they are nothing but tadpoles before me!" Aqua boldly exclaimed.

Michael noticed how some of the giant toad actually seemed offended, turned to Aqua and began jumping toward her.

Well, hopefully she can back up her claim. Michael had the uneasy feeling that Aqua couldn't.

"Now witness the true power of a goddess you gross water balloons, God Blow!"

===x===

"Waaaaa aaahhhaaaaa, aaaaaaa!" Aqua was sitting on the grass, covered in frog mucus and crying.

The result of Aqua's battle were terrible. Very odd, but terrible in the end.

Michael hadn't intervened right away, mostly due to confounding moments that happened one after another.

First, the Giant Toads either understood human speech or its intentions, as four of them came rushing at Aqua, the moment her provocations began.

Then Aqua's fiery anime CG crispy beautiful punch struck the first Giant Toad...and did nothing. Thus Aqua was gobbled by that toad, after her lame attempt at an apology failed to appease the monster.

Then she was saved by another toad snapping it's tongue out, to grab Aqua by her bottom half, and attempt to pull her, in order to eat her themselves.

Only for the first toad to fire it's own tongue and catch Aqua, placing the Water Goddess in a Giant Toad Tongue Tug of War (say that five times fast).

The a third and fourth toad added their tongues to the mix, which just covered screaming Aqua from head to toe in slime, and it looked like the toads were in competition with each other, as the second two couldn't get a firm hold of Aqua, but the first toad duo's tongues over Aqua.

A fifth and sixth toads entered the fray, attacking the other toads, so they would let go, and would then have a chance at the Aqua pie.

Michael was just stunned in horrified fascination at the Giant Toads, injuring each other over who get to each the Arch Priest.

Darkness took Michael's minute of inaction, as him just sadistically torturing his teammate and shivered in pleasure wonder what will happen on her turn.

Eventually Michael acted, projecting dull swords and launched them at the toads to break their limbs and necks, but without killing them.

And now he was consoling the traumatized Aqua.

"There, there at the very least you got them to hurt themselves." The pout of indignation she gave him said that that didn't make her feel better. "Look, here." Michael made a sharp sword and presented it to her. "The toads are dying, so why don't you delivering the killing blow and use them as EXP for the pain they inflicted on you. After that use your Water Magic to clean yourself. And my shirt too, please."

"B-But I'm an Arch Priest...what kind-da," Aqua sniffed. "Arch P-Priest use a sword? I'm, I'm not a ha-hiccup-hack."

"They covered you in slime, Aqua."

"GAAAAAAAH!"

Aqua took the blade and got a bit enthusiastic cutting up the toads.

"C-Corrupting the innocent Arch Priest to the path of villainy. How deliciously vile!" Darkness moan.

"I hope to god this one despite the masochism is secretly some terrifying fighter." Michael sighed muttering to himself, then gave what he said some thought. "Wait, Aqua and her junior are this world's goddesses."

===x===

"Ha, ha, ha, so," Darkness stood in front of the now cleaned up Aqua and Michael, covered herself with toad mucus. "What's your assessment, please be scold me--I mean be as honest as you can."

"Darkness," Michael began with a pleasant smile that hid his disbelieve and growing frustration. "Those toads are at twice your size. How...is it possible that you kept missing? And...couldn't even think of grappling them till I pointed that out?"

"Hmmmph! That gaze of looking down on me, it's too strong." Darkness naturally focused on something different than battle assessment, as she hugged herself in pleasure.

"Really? But I'm sure I don't look angry at all." Michael tilted his head.

"Yet that loath hidden underneath is so strong I can feel it degrading me. Hmmmph." Darkness shivered again in pleasure.

"Um, I dunno about loathing, but yeah, you kinda have this angry feel around you, Michael." Aqua added.

Michael sighed. "Right." He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. "Guess that's the effects of the Gehenna Flames." He said to himself.

"Are, are those a Dark Paladin's Cursed Flames?" Asked Darkness now more focused. "Isn't that one of the highest skills of the Job? And you already got it?"

"Hmm, is that what's called here?" Michael asked before shaking his head. "Anyways, back to the assessment." Darkness stood at attention, although Michael could see her excitement barely hidden under her failed stoicism. "Darkness, your Strength and Endurance are very impressive," Michael looked aside. "And no matter how much I don't want to mention it, your pain tolerance is amazing, given how you didn't seem cumbered no matter how much the toads slammed you with their tongues."

"Huh, this wasn't really what I expected." Darkness said in disappointment at the normal review.

Michael's eyebrow twitched. "Oi, can't you separate work from pleasure for even a minute?" He blurted out his true feelings.

"Hmmmph."

After a few minutes of grumbling, and talking, Michael finally found out why Darkness was, as she called it, "a little bit clumsy".

"You have 2 points in Dexterity!" Michael's jaw dropped.

"Yes, I had sadly needed to use one of my Skill Points to be able to wield two-handed swords, as is the normal example of a Crusader." Darkness looked genuinely dishearten. "It was one more point that could have gone into my defense."

"I, that's just..." Michael rubbed his temples, wondering how someone could be so dedicated to their fetish like that.

No, wait. Michael had met Raikou. He met Nightingale. He met Elizabeth Bathory. He knew people like that. He didn't have any reason to complain.

"Okay, look," Michael decided to approach the subject of Darkness improving her Dexterity, and thus her Swordswomanship rationally. "You want to be able to protect the weak, right? You can't do that if the dangerous monster is still around. You need to be able to defeat them, so the innocents your protecting can be safe."

That was Michael Chaser's mistake.

"There is no need to worry, my body is sturdy enough that I can hold on till they get to safety."

And on the argument went.

"What if there are so many monsters that you can't protect people from all of them?"

"No worries! I have the Decoy Skill just for that situation!"

And on...

"If you're defending a location being struck from two sides, then you need to defeat the monsters on one side to help the other. Thus you need to be able to hit them, to defeat one force and go assist in the next."

"I can take all the attack in one location, while my comrades can all go assist the other. Then if I fall, and the demon army where to take my body as their play thing, when my comrades return to see me as a broken sex doll, they can avenge me!"

And on...

"Look, can we please agree that monsters should be defeated, so they don't harm people in the future?"

"Yes."

"So you need to actually hit them to defeat them, yes?"

"Yes."

"So raise your Dexterity!"

"No, Defense!"

And on...

"If you sacrifice yourself, then you only protect your allies that one time. But if you don't, then you can protect them all the other future times too!"

"I refuse, to not give my best would be shameful. If I were to fall, and then the Demon King's army were to use and ravage, and beat, and enslave me, till I can think nothing but of there hard, sinful--"

"AHEM!"Michael coughed loudly.

"Evil! Then as long as my comrades are safe, then it's worth it!" The veins on Michael's head were worryingly visible. "That's why if you want to use me as a sacrificial pawn, to be used and discarded, then go ahead! I completely accept such fate!"

"Uhh, Darkness..." Aqua spoke up.

Aqua knew Michael. After all, she was the goddess assigned to his afterlife journey. Thus she knew his life, and she knew the things that actually pissed him off. While he had gotten over a lot of his hang ups and issues during the Grand Order, sacrificing allies, wasn't something he was completely okay with, even if he accepted it under difficult circumstances.

"Ah, yes, Lady Aqua?"

"Maybe you should tone it down a bit."

There was a small tremble as a Giant Toad rose up from the ground, where it was sleeping, about a hundred meters from where the party stood.

"What do you mean, Lady Aqua? I'm simply speaking of the noble duty that all Crusaders should take." Darkness spoke passionately.

Michael eyed the monster that started hopping toward them.

"I admire your passion, wanting to give your life to save others, even to the point of extreme pain both physical, mental, and sexual."

"Ah, yes~."

"And to go into battle knowing that any day could be your last, that you can be taken prisoner, and unbelievably horrible things can happen to you. All while you are completely at the mercy of those damn demons." Aqua shook her fist, getting herself in a frenzy.

"That's exactly right! You really understand me, Lady Aqua."

"Of course," Aqua took a power pose, lifting her head to the sky in pride. "Wait, what was my original point?"

"Darkness," Michael spoke up, seeing the toad was in range to throw it's tongue at one of them. "Could you please turn around?"

"Hmm? Sure, why tho--AAAAAAAAAAH!"

At that moment, the Giant Toad had launched it's tongue and grabbed Darkness, who was excited to be covered in warm slime again. Michael dashed forward, grabbing the Crusader by her ankles, and jumped into the sky, letting the toad's tongue pulling momentum carry them toward it.

Then Michael grit his teeth holding back a growl, flexed his muscles and swung the strong bodied Darkness.

That Giant Toad had woken up thinking it would get a nice meal, that was right next to it's dwelling.

The last thing it saw was its meal, the laughing Crusader, being swung toward it like a club, and the roaring Dark Paladin using their ally as a living weapon.

If one could have seen the Giant Toad's expression in that one moment, they would see a single tear, as the monster's life flashed before its eyes.

Then the Giant Toad was mercilessly bludgeon to death.

"THIS IS THE BEST!"

 

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