Glenstonx
I really love how you dive right into the action. Your writing style is very action-based, there are a lot of vivid and powerful verbs and sensory image that you use that really keep the momentum going and the atmosphere intact. I really like how thoughts are italicized. However, the book is hard to read because you don't insert line breaks during dialogue and during key moments, which breaks the flow a little. Having very short paragraphs with a few words is a very effective way to keep tension. Try this: The flash of scattering heat filled the place and tormented the flesh of two people agonizing in pain, screaming and desperately crawling to get out. Beep beep beep beep. The annoying sound of the alarm clock buzzed to her ears which made her jump and gasp for air. Also, whenever a character says something, insert a line break/make a new paragraph. Other than that, spectacular work!
Hi there! Here's your review. Just a heads-up though - I'm more accustomed to doing really really long critiques, so this one might be a bit janky. Now, I'm not exactly qualified to critique horror/thriller because it really isn't my cup of tea, but I'll try my best to critique what I am familiar with: Namely, your characters. I'll be honest here - I quite like Rose. Her interactions with other characters and her little internal thoughts are oddly endearing and realistic. She does have some slip-ups, but they're not too bad to the extent that my suspension of disbelief is broken. Overall, she is quite a fascinating main character and she's grown on me a lot over the few chapters I've read thus far. The vibe you have going for your setting is i m m a c u l a t e. The way they're written kinda gives me the whole 'flickering lights in an empty hallway' sorta vibe, and it absolutely suits this story. It's also not like the few other horror stories I've read thus far. You don't really overdo it on the gore and I'm grateful that you haven't used it for the cheap shock factor, which is nice. To summarise - Rose is an excellent character, and the setting descriptions hit all the right spots. The lady in the elevator too. Chapter Two in particularly was actually pretty scary. You really do get a feel of what young Mr Anderson was going through. Everything just radiates feelings of kenopsia - it feels hollow and empty, and depending on what you were going for that turned out really really well. Definitely suits the thriller vibe. soooo yeah here's my review. hope i helped out!
Hi!! author here~~ just want to say thank you for reading this book and adding them to your libaraies and reading lists, I truly appreciate it since it gives me motivation to continue this story, I hooe to see you all vote for my book and give me your honest opinions to improve my writings, thank you all !! :))
The mood is set very well and the creepy tone of the narrative gives you goosebumps alongside the characters. Although it is obvious the writer isn't a native English speaker as the descriptions sometimes fall short and the grammar is a bit odd, it doesn't disrupt the flow of the story. It's very straightforward and easy to follow along this disturbing and twisted journey. Keep at it! Grammar isn't enough to take away from a truly haunting tale.
This is the first horror story I read and the first paragraph was enough to tell me what I was going to find ... I must admit I underestimated the hashtags. The characters are concrete and the descriptions allow you to really create the image of each situation (they forced me to see every moment) My God, I thought I could venture into the genre but the author does not let me breathe, she started with everything! If you like the genre indicated, I'm sure this story will meet your expectations! Clear characters Excellent descriptions (too much) Specific events and whit only six chapters at this moment, I could say that it is an explosive beginning