Hello Torture, My Old Friend. 《3》

So the story is actually that... Yeah, like I said. We started to grow after that. We started to hang out together and talk together like really really talk so much. Then it got to the point where we cry so hard together because of a joke that she made that she was sick but, in the end it was more than worth it.

Then just a month after the school year started, I realized something. My feelings are slowly coming back for Kian. I mean, not really feelings but it's like that beat in your heart that blush you get then you smile so hard feeling.

Back then, 5th Grade, I thought that it was just a feeling that we all knew because it was just sort of a like feeling but I didn't consider it being a crush. 6th Grade when it just (dramatic explanation) "KABOOM!".

Yeah... it got worse. That was the time that made me say "Hey, what's goin' on? There's no way in the world you're falling for a guy!" but deep inside I knew there was but no. When summer hit, I forgot about those "feelings" and thought that when this school year starts. I got to be someone new.

Then Kate who is a female transferee that I'm close to walked up to me in her always so favorite grey sweater and said "Hey, Nate! Have you studied today? I'm sorry I wasn't able to send the pictures of the book to you last saturday." Then "No, it's okay. And nope, but thanks for reminding me to study though." I replied. "No worries!" Kate said and left and removed her hoodie.

All I did was got the book under and put it on the table and laid on my arms again to think again.

So yeah. Someone new. But just as I enter the classroom. My true Nathan came out. I started running and shouting in front of the class all the way to my group which had Blythe and Luna in it. Then we started chit chatting. Then I took a quick glance at whoever is there and I saw Cathryn, Kate and Deanna in the middle of the classroom. And some distant transferees at the fathest left possible but if you're wondering how many the transferees were... uhm.. 13.

We were just shocked to see how many tables were set up and from a quiet 18 to an explosive 30. Boom. We were sso not used to it but then I took another glnace and I saw Kian. Then my heart dropped. In a good way. "Oh my, look how lean he's become." I thought as I was staring at his body. "Oh, he's become more handsome!" I thought as the rested my chin on my hand on the table.

Then just as I thought that. We made eye contact. "Hey! Nathan!!!" He said as he stood up and extented his arms to me. Then he was closer and closer until he finally reached me and gave me a hug. "Hey! I missed you! Please help me!" He said and played to me about why they keep on saying that he's a transferee just because he changed so much and didn't wear the uniform.

But he's like that. He hugs and touches you like TOUCH but not in a "shady" way. Even though he's like that to only boys, but according to him, it's just for fun. And that just made it harder for me to forget him. His touch.

Fast forward to a month later. It was August. Cathryn and I have really become close and so did Deanna but Kate, not so much because our seats got transfereed because we were too noisy. But anyways, I was crying at the back with Deanna and Cathryn. I held a notebook that held everything. Well not "everything" but "THE thing".

Then I forced myself to give it to them and voila. It held my confession that I was bisexual. I accepted the fact that Kian was there for me even if he doesn't think the same. Then I gave them a hug and I cried everything out until the three of us cried and cried.

Then after that, we just kept on talking about how I got my feelings for Kian and when did it start and stuff like that. I also told Luna about it because she'd understand. Luna is actually the youngest female in the classroom. And the shortest. But she has a cute face. She thinks like a year older though.

Then after 3 days, I heard something that I thought could be the worst of all. Angelina and I were playing volleyball in the court in the third floor. We started to pass each other the ball. There were only us 2 that time then she said something. "Nate, can I tell you something?" she said as she caught the ball and held it by her waist.

"Yeah, what?" I replied. "Do you have a crush on Kian?" Then suddenly I felt so lost. Those seven words penetrated me up to until I couldn't feel anything. I felt so scared that maybe everyone knew about it and I was just being blind.

"What? Haha." I replied to her. "Come on, it's okay being gay, we accept you." She said then that just. Made. Me. Laugh. Like literally. In the middle of the court I just laughed hard. All I could say was "Who told you that?" then Angelina had this doubtful face. "Luna did." And I became sad again. "No it's not it. Just please, don't tell anyone about it." I said then the bell rang so we had to go down.

Fast forward a month after and it was our Chinese class. Our teacher was busy discussing and all of us were surrounding a row of tables. I saw that Kian was sitting in front of Kate so I sat beside him so that I could be more comfortable with kate around. Then suddenly, Kian put his right arm around me and I just leaned on him. Then we talked a bit and started laughing then he put his right hand down. I felt so down after that but what I got after was better.

He held my hand. That was. Hands. Down. The best moment in my life. And it continued for a long time and no one saw it. I just felt that he felt something for me but I was too scared to ask.

Then a few days after, it was Computer Class and we sat together. He leaned on to my shoulder and I leaned on his head. We put our hands in each other's lap since we couldn''t hold hands because of the teacher. (That's what I thought.)

But then the next week that day, I felt so down of why I was doing those with him so I called him over to my seat since he stayed with his friends. "Yes?" He said. Then I decided to tell him everything. His face didn't change. He was still smiling. "Really? Oh, that's so... weird haha." He said while standing up and walking around confused.

Then I started to cry. "Nathan!" Kate and Angelina said who were both beside me. "Oh no, Kian, it's your fault" They said playing around. Then Kian gave me a hug from the back and spoke near my ear. "No! Nathan! Don't cry! It's totally fine!" He said in such a loving tone so near my ear.

"I'm sorry Kian! I'm sorry if I loved you, I didn't really mean to" I said and my crying got worse. "No, it's normal! Except that uh... I find it... Weird. Haha." He said that made me laugh. " You can go back now! Thank you." I said to him while smiling.

Then the bell rang.

I found myself asleep on the table. "Hannah, what time is it?" I asked. She glances at her wrist and turned around since she was in front of me. "7 2.. What the heck?! Why are you sleeping?" She said. "Don't mind me." I replied laying down. "7 24. Don't worry, we have one vacant subject so we'll take the exam on 8 30." She said. "Why don't you study?" She added then she patted my hair and turned around