7 Mirrored Self

Chapter 7

"Heh…heh…ha…" My laughter plagued me once again, forcing the horrible memory onto my mind once again.

Watching as Victoria melt away to death, I focused on staying alive. Alive in order to fight tomorrow, fight again, and fight until I no longer need to. The pithos in all its glory stood ignored by both myself and the other contestants.

Inching closer, I could feel its texture but from the looks of others, the pithos didn't exist. At least, not in the physical plane where others could feel and see it as I did. Was it because it was only tied to my soul? Or was I simply tired and drained of enough blood that I was seeing what was not there?

Regardless, I gripped the edge of the unmoving jar as I pulled myself up while pushing against the pain, the torn muscles, and the sticky blood. For the first time, I was able to see around myself clearly using my one good eye. The other, the cursed eye, was pitch black in both overuse and blood.

Eyes. Eyes on me. Eyes that I was too familiar with unfortunately. They were the very same eyes I looked at myself before my death. The same eyes I had made for years as a child.

Eyes looking at a monster

They were right, of course, but it didn't change the fact that I would rather not have to face those looks anymore. They were right, yes, but it still hurt a bit. Lack of compassion and sympathy did not mean I was blind to others and the world.

One step

Pain wrecked through me as the stab wounds burned and knees gave way. I caught myself with the help of my blade…but my new room where I would be able to get the proper treatment just seemed so far away.

Another step

Memories of that nameless candidate came to mind. The one who died after winning her match. I looked around to see the others and it only confirmed what I already suspected.

Eyes of fear, horror, disgust. Eyes which showed that they would avoid me, let me die, or perhaps even kill me themselves. I understood why they would want that. I wasn't any different from Victoria, I didn't just remove her after all, I had replaced her. Replaced her in a horrific fashion. Somehow…I had melted her.

One more step

As the last of my strength faded, I saw myself crumpling to the ground when a set of arms grabbed me, held me.

What?

My one good eye saw another nameless one as she put my arm around her shoulder and began carrying me.

Why?

She stayed silent and I did too. As strange as this situation was, I was not going to question her motives. I needed to survive. I was going to survive. Walking became easier as she dragged me towards my new room.

Up the stairs, through the lift, and finally out into the hallway and in front of the first room where my new servants awaited me.

As I was passed onto the doctor of the room, I was turned around where I could finally see her face. She had no noticeable features but she was taller than me…and quite thin that one might mistake her for skipping her meals?

I could tell my blood was splattered on her clothing and the tears and rips in her clothes showed that she did not have an easy time here. I would guess she was low ranked that she was provided with no good clothing if at all.

Then finally, I saw her eyes. Eyes which gave me the answer. Self-Preservation of the weak.

"Don't choose me. Don't kill me" Her eyes seemed to say.

I might be a monster but I do pay my debts…and darkness came over my eyes.

… …

How Long have I slept?

Opening my eyes, I saw…that this wasn't anywhere I knew. No, this was exactly where I was most familiar with.

The first thing I noticed was…I was no longer smiling. It seemed like I didn't need to here…was I free from the curse?

I was sitting up on an endless sea, devoid of even the smallest waves, perfectly flat and stretching out forever. The surface of the water somehow dry, holding me up like a solid floor. The light source not anywhere to be seen yet the world was brightly lit up.

This was inside my mind…but some things were different. It was too bright, too calm, peaceful. The answer was answered as I looked down.

Underneath the water was a different world. Despite the light, only the surface of the water reflected any light at all. Under the surface was a completely different world, a world I was too familiar with. One filled with endless storms, trouble, and doubt. A world in which never a single moment of peace was given, not a single moment where I could stand strong without the waves crashing over or giving out under.

From a few steps away came footsteps from under the surface towards me. The silhouette of the two feet coming closer and closer until they stopped right in front of me. Then all of a sudden, a hand was pressed against the surface. A hand that I knew.

Matching the gesture, I pressed my own hand on the water against hers and our worlds collided. A moment of madness as darkness erupted from below only to be pushed back down by my air, or was it also water? The currents mixed, crashed, fought, separated and mixed again two became one.

My bright world turned darker and darkener while her's grew lighter and lighter…until it stopped. When the water turned grey and the waves grew smaller and smaller until they only began lapping at our ankles.

Finally, as our worlds became one, I saw her. A very beautiful woman who seemed more god than mortal. She looked very different from me; tan to my pale, dark blonde to my white hair, and adult features to mine which was of a child's and yet there were similarities. Both of us had the look of a doll, lifeless and artificial. As we looked into each others' eyes, we saw ourselves. It was a very familiar face, one that had been modeled after the goddess Aphrodite, and once it had been my own. But she was dead, I had left that body and world behind, didn't I?

"Hello Πανδωρα" I spoke first. "You're dead…we died. That…your body is no longer with us."

"I am dead." Πανδωρα (Pan-Doros, All Gifts) replied, her tone monotonous. "Do we still share our name or should I call you Arie?"

I had to look up at her as she was taller. She looked exactly how I wished I would forget. Perfectly created and dressed in that wedding dress, ready to be presented to him like a present, a trophy.

"I go by Pandora here." I tell her "But you can still call me Πανδωρα."

Silence followed for a while. It seemed like the fact that we don't talk much, or rather only talk when necessary, didn't change even through death.

"Did you bring me here?" It was my mind but I could no longer make my way inside here ever since my rebirth.

"No. I merely called and you came." Πανδωρα replied.

…

"Who are you?" I needed to point out the whale in the room. Even thinking over in silence, it didn't make much sense.

I died! And then then I was brought here to the world where my soul was given a chance at rebirth…there wasn't a chance where she could exist. I don't remember splitting my soul…or giving up on it.

I did follow Thanatos into the underworld but I've never crossed the Styx, drank from the Lethe, or stood in front of the judges. I was never sentenced to Elysium, Asphodel, or Punishment. I was never given a chance for rebirth since I've never gone through that route at all!

So who was she? Was why I, Πανδωρα, still here?

"I'm Πανδωρα." She whispered. "I'm the Πανδωρα that was left behind. I'm the Πανδωρα the stayed so we can have a chance…a chance for why we exist."

Left behind? Stayed?

"Nobody can truly return from death Pandora. Not even Lord Hades could grant us that privilege. I was down there and I saw what was waiting for us, oblivion. The gods want to erase their mistake Pandora. Every trace that we ever existed. That it was Zeus and his family that brought all evil down to mankind…they want to hide it."

I…I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. Wasn't killing all of mankind through me not enough? Did they really…really lower themselves that much as to erase my existence? Erase the Πανδωρα that they have created? Erase us?

"So I waited at the banks of the Styx, refusing passage into the world below. I couldn't let ourselves be gone forever. Be forgotten and be turned into nothing; returned to chaos."

My vision clouded over though my face reminded blank. Was it the lack of breathe or the truth that hurt more? I refused to answer. Only listen…for now.

"Until that day came. A day when another entrance to the dark world opened. It was a small passage Pandora. A passage made only for the living and the dead could not pass. Yet something made it possible to follow a living man and his dead wife up the stairs and soon into the living world outside…but not me, not Πανδωρα"

A warm hand was placed on my shoulder as I looked up at Πανδωρα, me, as I saw the smallest of smiles bloom on her face. A face I hated, a face I had cursed, upon my death…but even then I could not deny that it was me.

Already knowing what she was about to say, I could not stop the tears from stopping from my eyes. How strange…I thought I no longer had the capacity to feel much anymore.

"I told you didn't I? No one ever truly returns from the dead. A portion of us had to stay behind."

"You."

"Me"

"Pan-doros"

"Πανδωρα"

The only sound that followed was my weeping, my tears, my mortal sounds as I clutched onto my other half. The half that was forced to stay behind and suffer…even after experiencing hell.

As my hands held onto her, I felt her hand, my hands, hold my back as she gently pet me. Comfort me like a mother would, if we had one.

"I held back the sins once they returned" Πανδωρα softly spoke into my ear "but it seems I can no longer do so. I do not need to hold it from you anymore. You're strong enough now, aren't you?"

Blinking out the teardrops out of my eyes and looking around, I saw what she meant. On the once-calm surface of the mind were now small dark waves and rippled. Dark mist and clouds fogged our view as unpleasant shadows moved about.

I knew what they were, I couldn't forget…impossible to forget. My scene that my left eye had saw was engraved into my skull. Unforgettable.

Hybris, Plutus, Himeros, Phthonos and Lyssa were the most noticeable with their dominant aura and sheer size but I could make out countless others as well. Countless diseases and sicknesses, all the poisons of mankind and all the evil intentions and emotions were roaming about the surface of the endless sea.

"They're here?"

"The pithos was put inside us but you deserved a break from that memory. I brought it to my side and held it from you…until now."

"I…I almost died again"

"I know…which was why I let go"

…silence

"Two of them were called to your side for a moment before returning. In truth, I don't have the strength to hold them here anymore. Which is why I called you here."

Something was wrong. Just moments ago she looked perfect but somehow she was changing. Her looks getting closer and closer to that of when I had died. Unhealthily shade, worry and stress on her face, and physically getting weaker by the moment.

"They're under your control now. They're with us now…our allies, our tools." A cough ripped through her as she dripped blood from her mouth. "You got a new life, one that I sacrificed myself for, so enjoy it. Live it to the fullest and don't waste it on a single goal."

Another cough, another mouthful of blood. I couldn't do anything.

"Don't stay completely silent this time…and try to make friends. I know myself so don't try to make excuses either." She made a pained smile. "Still…Pr-Promise me that you'll fulfill it, that you'll avenge us…me…!"

I nodded.

"That you'll use everything at your disposal. Our blessings, curses, and all your new strength and power. Even that endless source strange crystal that was dumped into our sea "

Does she mean suspendium?

I could only nod again. I couldn't open my mouth…too afraid of what might come out.

"I'll carry that curse, the cursed smile, to my end…you don't need to suffer from it anymore. Smile when you want to, cry at tragedy, laugh at what you find funny…don't laugh at tragedy anymore"

Πανδωρα looked horrible now…like how I was moments before my death. Purple spots and pus all over her body as she thinned until I could see the outline of her bones. It seemed starvation had bit her. But even in this horrible state, she held me…protected me. Her eyes never gave out like last time. Looking into mine, her…my lifeless eyes never looked so intense as she gave me her farewell.

"An-And don't you dare forget me, dammit!"

A whimper broke past me sealed lips as my wall broke. The tears which I thought had dried poured out again as I hugged Πανδωρα, myself, tightly. I couldn't let her go again…not when I just met her again. Crying from loss, smiling from relief, desperate to fill in the emptiness that was growing every moment.

It was for vain as I felt her slowly disappear from my arms. Glowing slightly as she dissolved…returning to the realm of where we were created.

"Πανδωρα…" my voice came out broken.

For a moment I stood there alone clutching the empty air where Πανδωρα had just been. I held that pose for how long, I don't know. I only felt change when I felt a tug on my mind as I realized that I was going to wake up.

Looking around the hazy grey world…a world which was once shared, I knew that from now on I would be able to return here.

"Δεν μπορώ να σε ξεχάσω Πανδώρα"

The waves of the empty world began to churn as its guardian faded away. I should have stayed…but I couldn't deal with it now…not now.

The world turned blank as I woke.