The Smile

Candy Park walked out of the hospital in a daze. Her eyes were open, but she couldn't see anything. Her body felt cold, her steps heavy. Nothing could penetrate the fog she was walking in. Her face was flushed from crying and darkened as the cold winter air brushed her cold hands against her cheeks. Each step looked mechanical as she walked across the street to the parking lot. The stairs were climbed then she turned around and descended the stairs. Standing in the corner at the bottom of the stairs, Candy felt cold though nothing else registered.

A laugh broke her daze and she watched a little girl skipping down the sidewalk. Her carefree manner hurt Candy in a different way. The smile was something she has lost years ago. It would be wonderful to be able to smile again. Candy watched the girl skip until she was out of sight. Other movement caught her eye and she saw that she was still at the hospital. New tears formed and slid down her already red face. Her head was pounding like a drum set in a tunnel. The street remained empty and all the warmth of that small smile was gone as the wind picked up.

Signs and buildings blurred and the cold dug itself deeper into her heart. With leaden steps she climbed the stairs once more to find her car. Why did it have to be him? That would make the fifth person in five years who had left her behind. First it was Grandfather, who had shown her another world up in the mountains; then Mother, who encouraged her to pursue her dream in teaching; then her brother, Daniel, who had been there for her when she had a bad day; then it was her friend Heather, the only friend that had stayed through all their school years; and now it was her boyfriend James. Each time it had been the same hospital. Was she cursed? No, curses were only things read about in stories. Fate? Predestination? No.

She stopped at her car and stared into the driver side window. No, it wasn't her car. It was James' old car. He had given her the car because he didn't need it anymore and she needed more reliable transportation to get to work. While she was with him her smile had started to come back. Still, it was stiff and felt false as it spread upon her face. Her tears fell harder and she leaned against her car.

"Excuse me, Miss?" a man asked, "Are you okay?"

"What?" Candy asked, blinking back tears.

"Are you okay?"

"I guess."

This stranger couldn't have been much older than herself. His stance was relaxed, as he leaned slightly to the left. His shirt was black, a blue button-up open over top, jeans worn and his hair cut in a military style. He moved towards her as she looked away. There was no uneasiness about his presence, in fact he looked familiar to her somehow. His arm leaned against her car, hand hanging just above her shoulder.

"May I ask what is wrong?"

The hated question. More tears came and a gasping sob escaped her lips. As if it was natural, this stranger wrapped her into an embrace. It was a short embrace as Candy lightly pressed her hands against his chest and he let go.

"Will you be okay? Would you like me to walk with you somewhere?"

"No thank you, Mr....?"

"Lyle Elemant."

His name sounded familiar, but Candy wasn't sure if it was because she had read it somewhere or if someone she knew had talked about him.

"Mr. Elemant," she said.

"Please. Just call me Lyle."

Candy nodded.

"May I ask your name?"

"It's Candy. Candy Park.".

"Candy. You're James' girlfriend, aren't you?"

"How do you know James?"

"He and I were old school friends."

"I was wondering why your name sounded familiar."

"Yeah.… Would you like me to walk with you to the hospital?... That is where you're going isn't it?"

"No, I.... Actually I was just... leaving."

"Oh."

Candy searched her pockets for her keys and finally found them. The grinding sound of metal against metal reverberated in the garage and in her pounding head. She saw James' face as she turned the key to unlock the car and her ears started ringing with the sound of the screeching heart monitor as James' heart stopped beating.

"Candy, can I...?" Lyle's question brought her back. "That is, would you like to get something to eat with me?"

She didn't know why she said yes. Maybe she wanted to know more about Lyle, maybe she just wanted to grasp onto one more connection to James. Underneath that maybe, the thought of crawling into bed seemed appealing. Crawl into bed and forget. To be alone so that no one else she knew, or would come to know, had to die. Still, even if she did lock herself in her room to be alone, the rest of her family would pester her into doing something, getting out to have fun, and hope that time would return the smile that attracted everyone to her. Her smile was like a soda that brought several bees to her. The bees that stayed ended up stinging her and the sugar that had attracted them became vinegar.

"Okay. My car is parked down a little ways," Lyle said.

"If you don't mind, Lyle, can we drive separately and go Dutch?"

"Afraid I'll kidnap you?" He replied, with a wink.

"No, I..."

"It's fine Candy. Meet you at the Applebee's down the street."

She just nodded and climbed into her car. In her rear view mirror was Lyle. He stood there for another moment before smiling. The corners of Candy's mouth turned down a little more. How can someone smile like that so close to a hospital? There was nothing but death there. The little girl had smiled, now Lyle had smiled,… was it possible that she could smile as well? She tried it, but it looked more like a grimace than a smile. Sighing, she backed out of her parking spot and drove to Applebee's.

Lyle had followed her the whole way, but she hadn't noticed. After today she didn't have to see him ever again. She could hide, create stories for her family about all the social functions she was attending, and pray that no one else would die within the next year. That's how it seemed to her. She would grow close to someone and within a year they were dead. For family members that wasn't necessarily the case, but that's how it had been with James. Lyle seemed like a nice enough guy to get to know, but she didn't want to start something if he was going to die within a year.

"Table for two?" The waiter asked.

"Yes, please," Lyle replied. "Candy. What do you like to do?"

"Do?… Read, I guess."

"Is there anything you enjoy doing? Things that make you happy?"

"There are many things I enjoy doing, but they don't involve other people. I swear I'm cursed or something."

"Cursed? Why do you say that?"

"Every time someone gets close to me they die. Being able to read, embroider, they are an escape from the bitter pain that comes with death."

"That's why you were at the hospital today... because James..."

More tears burned her already raw eyes and her head dropped.

"I'm sorry, Candy. Maybe I shouldn't mention him."

"No, it's fine. I...I wanted to hear more about your friendship with James."

"Right this way, please," the waiter said.

Lyle took Candy's hand and they followed the waiter to a booth. They were left with menus and a few moments to decide.

"What was it that you wanted to know about James and I?"

"I don't know. What kinds of things you did?"

"Not much, I guess. We would often get together after school just to hang and play video games. When we got sick of that we would wander around the mall and watch for pretty girls, see if we could get any of their numbers. Only James was successful at that. That reminds me, how did the two of you meet?"

Candy set the menu aside. The restaurant seemed fairly busy. All around her were couples and groups of friends talking and laughing. James had been able to make her laugh, but even then it had felt forced. Her attention turned to the group next to them. Their laughter increased in volume as jokes and parts of stories were told.

"I was one of his mall numbers," she replied, a little down that it had been a game to them.

"Hey, why the frown. James often said you were best thing that happened to him."

More tears came to her eyes, but her mouth remained down.

"Candy, I don't think James ever regretted being able to get to know you. In fact, he came over once after going out with you and he was so happy you would almost think he was drunk." Lyle's expression changed as if he just remembered something else and pulled his wallet out. "I have a picture here that I think you should have. I took it that night when he came over."

Lyle pulled the photo from his wallet and slid it across the table to her. It was of James. His grin was huge and it looked like he was trying to dance or something. He was wearing the dragon shirt that she had bought him for Christmas. His jacket was in one hand and the snow covered lawn behind him brightened his presence even more and she smiled.