At least there's a fountain.

Grandpa had passed away when I was 8. grandma tried her best to hold onto me as long as she could but she was 91 and I was 9. Her second daughter decided to take me on since she never was able to have any children of her own. the lady was cold and cruel and hated the world. I stayed in my room most the time and I didn't have any friends in grade school nor well in high school. I am in grade 9 and I suffer from depression and anxiety.

At lunch I always sat below the tree in the court yard, no one could see me but it always felt like someone was watching me. I took out the small blade from my bag and I started cutting into my wrist, no one will miss me when I am gone. I liked the way that the pain would make me feel something again, my spark was gone.

I remember the time I was five and my parents got high on drugs as their "friends" passed me around like a doll, touching me. it wasn't right but I pushed it out of my head as I dug the blade in deeper. I am not a person!

Stop Allis, your mine and this is not your time.

the whispering words were pushed with wind.

Hello?

I could hear some girls from the back entrance of the school. As they came closer, one shouted look at this looser. Allis is talking to herself again... they chuckled and laughed as they walked by. I ignored and didn't care, I pulled out the bandages from my bag and wrapped up my arm and went to class.

As I walked home I thought of different ways that I could finish not feeling much of anything anymore.

I got home, did my chores and ran to my room.

I got a text message from Chris....

Allis babe, come to my house, get out of your house for a bit.

I texted back saying maybe another day.

he sent some sad faces and kisses.

I told him good night.

I woke up to my "Nona" screaming about the dishes being done wrong.

I ran down stairs and hurried to the sink to finish them.

Finally! some plates I can put my breakfast on.

I put a piece of bread in the toaster and took the toast with me as I walked to school.

a text from Chris -

common over tonight! I really miss you!

I replied back with :

maybe, I'll think about it.

.... it be one of my great regrets.

I went to school, there was a new girl sitting next to me when I showed up late.....

her hair was long and blonde and she was so bubbly, everyone loved her right off the bat. she turned to me and said :

I am pixie! I am your new friend!

from that day forward, those words were true, and she become my best friend as well.

I spent lunch with her as we talked about what was going on in our lives.

her mother has cancer but was doing okay for now.... her dad was a mess.

after school I checked my text again, Chris inviting me over....

I told him no and we could hang out on the weekend.

he replied fine.

I got home Nona was screaming at the door how I was good for nothing and how I never helped.

I was finished.

I screamed then find a paid maid!

she had 2 bags behind her, she picked them up and tossed them at me and closed the door, I heard the lock of the dead bolt.

she texted me

and don't come back....

14 and no where to go?

I texted Chris, my Nona kicked me out.

I got a incoming call from Chris.

hey babe! my mom said it be okay to stay with us!

alright I guess.

his voice cheered. alright I'll meet you at the bus stop.

I went from average income family neighborhood to lower income family neighborhood.

when I got to the bus stop Chris was waiting for me.

he grabbed my waist and kissed me. everyone at my school thought he was the hottest. he was a bad boy, he was blonde with bright blue eyes and tan from working construction outside, not to mention a bit of muscle from the work, he was 17. he skipped school a lot to work with his dad, who did not live with them, he has another family but still loves Chris and his younger brother - 8-.

Chris walked us to his place. It was a small run down complex with a non working fountain infront.

Chris looked at me as I gave a half smile (it was more of a force smile).

Fancy, I know babe.