pain...

this is cas I can't say I love you to the girl I like I know it's lame

There she was cuddled up to me with her drop dead sexy body it was tender and warm. Her sent was as sweet as flowers no better god it was like inhaling my first drag of weed. She twitched ever so slightly making me lock in place it was cold but she made me feel so walm inside it felt as though I couldn't breathe at the same time I was perfectly fine then out of nowhere she started moving I felt out of place but I didn't want this to end either she started to craw on top of me lying her head on my chest and her arms spread out over me I looked down and I saw a sight more holy and beautiful then any imagenable as if god was there saying behold my child her sweet smile angelic eyes I thought I was in the the presents of angle the warmth from the sun finally crept inside I herd her groan. she was looking at me *I think* "holy fuck she's looking at me am I doing something wrong wait am I..." while I ponder weather this early morning has lead to some morning wood. she was looking at me smiling ready to pounce she moved up with a ever so slight gap between us I saw so much🤯😁. she lied right above me we were face to face and then she said "Ryan wake up baby" i shrouded by confusion said "what but I am awake" then her voice changed deeper and deeper till she started to float away I grabbed her arms trying to hold on to her "wait I didn't get to say I.."

"RYAN WAKE THE HELL UP YOU LAZY BASTERD"

My vision slowly returns a sharp pain hits again from my dad shouting for me to get up my phone still vibrating from missed text due to an obsessive sister concerned with my health. so I got up and put my bed away yea I sleep on the floor I went to the door got out of the living room/my room and grabbed my phone and turned on my musical put my earplugs in got dressed and raced to college got in and there was a test today so I sat far from everyone then this girl walked in it was wired it's like I've seen her before all I thought was I needed to talk to her I tried but being the antisocial guy I was I just stayed quite and did my test untill the end of the test where I thought now or never and asked. for a bacterial wipe yes I'm that lame I tried saying more but I felt frozen so I left it then I saw she was added to a group chat between the he whole heath and social team witch was fuckin awesome yessssssss i added her on snap and out of nowhere she added me back and I was over the moon I tried talking to her more I did I was asking her questions and I think she was interested then she asked. me to come get her from college witch was really random I thought there was no harm till she said she was in trouble she was hyperventilating and in trouble so ( I will never admit to this ) rushed to go help her without a second thought I sat in the cold cas she was in lesson huh what a dope made me wait in the cold as annoying as it was I felt excited and happy because I liked her I felt something and I just wanted her to be safe.

she finally came out of college and I saw her that smile even a heart as black as mine quivered it was strange as if a chill ran through my cold body like lighting into frankinstie I awoke and stood tall although I'm only 5'11 I have a quite deep voice but it differs on my emotions like everyone I hope and my face changes from narrow and sharp to goofy and round my body is agile not much muscle but cold eyes with a harsh stare and god forbid my crooked smile it always looked like I was angry I hated that it meant that people were usually scared of me and girls they always go for the pretty boy me Im the wired kid who's got a sick dark humor emotionaly fucked and *sigh* let's just say I'm not the most social the one thing I hate the most I can't trust