8 Chapter Eight: Remember Me?
"H-Hello?!" Min Jinu shouted through the darkness. He scanned his empty surroundings until a long,
endless road appeared in front of him. It was dark, but the road was clearly visible. Suddenly a car
passed by, but luckily Jinu was able to jerk his body away from it in one swift movement.
It was horrifying to watch his car get thrown off of the bridge over and over again, and it hurt that he
remembered every last feeling he felt at that moment. And even if he found it unfair, Kim Yeol
wouldn't remember anything about him, and he knew that.
They haven't had many romantic or memorable moments together, but he didn't want Kim Yeol to
forget about him.
Because Kim Yeol saved him. Many times.
_
He opened his eyes, allowing a bright light to shine into them. He didn't care, he just let his eyes
adjust to the light so that he could clearly see his surroundings.
He was in his room. He didn't know how he actually got there, but he felt strange. Like he wasn't
even alive.
It was hard for him to process everything that had happened that day.
He didn't want to remember.
He only wanted pain. Pain...
He wanted to feel it once again. To see the blood pulsing out of him, to see the darkness engulfing
him as he dozed off in a deep slumber, knowing that the pills were the reason for it.
He wanted to feel that again. That way, he would never feel alive again.
He hated life. He wanted it gone.
He wanted to forget about everything.
He blamed himself over and over for it. He killed Yol Sang Kim.
But he never wanted to remember a single thing about her. It was torture, remembering her. But he
couldn't help it as he fell in love with this new girl, Kim Yeol.
He needed to wake up and accept the fact that Yol Sang Kim wasn't coming back. Even in his dreams,
he didn't want to remember her.
But ever since Kim Yeol came to his life…
She saved him.
His motivation, his life came back again. He was fine. He was fine that day he met her.
The day he was supposed to die, the day of his death, he was fine. Because of her.
It was the day he felt hope once again.
But ever since Kim Yeol forgot about him… He wanted to die again. It felt like he lost a piece of him
that couldn't be brought back by anyone, not even Kim Yeol.
Nobody could fix him now; he was too broken.
Broken from the start, and still broken, until the end of his life.
It seemed like all of his memories of Yol Sang Kim were slowly coming back, and he didn't want to
feel, hear or even see Yol Sang in his dreams. He wanted to change. He wanted a new life, a new
phase. A new life with someone he just fells in love with.
But now... He felt miserable, and he wanted to die as soon as possible. Kim Yeol couldn't save him
now.
But the guilt, shame and pain were bringing his guards down.
Everything was breaking him, and he couldn't take it anymore.
All he wanted was feel pain and finally feel death. It's what he's wanted for years.
Did I do something to deserve this shit?
Am I really that much of a sinful person to deserve to suffer like this?
Am I really that much of a waste?
Is this really what is destined for me?
Is the world really so cruel that it would just break me to pieces like this?
Will my questions ever be answered?
Do I really deserve this? Deserve life? If so then why was I punished to live in this crappy world and
have a life like this?
Why would God do this to me?
Am I not a human that deserves to have a better and happy life like others do?
Why would they torture me like this?
Questions like these spiraled around his mind as beads of sweat started to fall from his temples
down to his ears.
He finally stood up and walked towards his bathroom. He had a few containers left, and now no one
could stop him now
But one question stopped him.
Should I help Kim Yeol remember me? Or just let her live her life without me?
It's better this way, right?
He stared at the mirror in front of him.
Tears started to form in his eyes. His soul reflected the dull light in his bathroom - a light that had no
use. A light that was lifeless, broken and unhappy.
He stared at the other person in the mirror. "I look like shit," he told himself as tears started to fall
down from his puffy eyes.
He sniffed as anger built inside him. He lifted his shaky hand and punched the mirror ahead of him
out of frustration. Glass shattered and settled onto the sink in front of him. His fist began to bleed.
Pain? Where are you?
The blood pulsed out of his fist, but he felt no pain.
He chuckled.
I took pain killers. That's why I don't feel any pain.
He laughed at his pathetic self as tears stained his cheeks. He didn't know if he was supposed to be
crying or laughing.
So, he just smiled to himself.
He picked up some shards of glass that were scattered across the sink and floor and began cutting
his skin.
But still, pain wasn't present at all.
It was like… he was reborn again.
He ran towards his front door, blood dripping from the cuts he had created earlier. He ran to the
hospital that was only a few blocks away from his apartment.
He sprinted into the building to see Kim Yeol, but when he finally got there, she wasn't in her room.
He started to panic and ran towards the front desk.
"Where's the patient in room 201?" he asked, panting.
"She was discharged this morning," the nurse replied.
"Who? Who discharged her?" he asked between breaths.
"A woman. She claimed to be her mother." Min Jinu cocked his head.
"Mother?" He questioned aloud, looking at the white tiled floor.
"Yes. Her mother." He nodded and started to walk away.
"Thanks," he called out before running out of the hospital.
He ran and ran down the streets, not knowing where to look for her. But he luckily saw a familiar
posture, face, and figure. It was Kim Yeol.
She was shocked when he ran up to her.
"It's me, Min Jinu. Remember me?" he asked her. The girl just gave him a blank expression. He
blinked twice.
"You really don't?" he asked. Kim Yeol shook her head in response. "Do you want to?" Still, he
doesn't receive any good response.
"Want what?" she questioned, completely clueless of what he was saying.
"Do you want to remember me?"
