17 Chapter 1: Rain

I can still hear the bombs. The guns firing at me. I can still hear the screaming soldiers running for their lives. I can still remember the way I held my breath, as raiders bombed the whole place, in a river where I could've drowned. I could have left the miserable world. I could have escaped this miserable life. I could have died if I had the courage to.

The bombing stopped though. Everything went silent.

The rain poured gently on the hundreds and thousands of corpses lying on the field. The river I was in was drenched in red. The blood pooled in the river -- now a bloody puddle.

I got out of the river and into land. There I saw multitude of soldiers on our side still alive. We vacate the area immediately and we seek reinforcements.

Right outside the shelter, people decayed and blood pooled. I can still hear the distant cries. I can still hear the children asking for their mommies that will never ever return. I vomited blood as the pressure surges through my body. I can't take this any longer.

I took off my helmet only to find out that my hair was drenched in blood. I look at my hands, only to see a hands of a stranger. I sat beside the fire pit to warm myself.

A friend, Fritz, told me something. In fact, he whispered it to me, "Man. I'm sorry. Your father passed. Your girlfriend is in her deathbed in the West Gate Shelter of the Region. It's still chaos in there."

I did not know what to do. I just stare at my hands. I remember that I muttered, "I should have just died. I wish I hadn't gone through this. I wish I had died along with my friends."

"No man. Don't say that."

I looked at Fritz. He lost his wife and kids and both of his parents. Where did he found that courage to speak like that? Should I be called lucky since I have fewer loses? What am I to say? I can't possibly say to him that aloud.

"You still have your sister and your mother." He rested his hands on my shoulder and told me, "The war is over. We won, Aldred."

"What is happening inside?"

"Go inside to get petitions to extract the bodies of loved ones or friends or if they're still alive they will be redirected here. Basically, this shelter and South Shelter are safe."

"My girlfriend is doomed then?"

"I cannot say that. She may still be safe."

"I'm going to get a petition."

Fritz frowned as he knows that I may be thinking that it's going to be all too late.

I saw plenty of familiar faces. I saw in the sea of people, Vicerra. She was a volunteer handing out medicine and food to the children, sick and elderly. She was even sent out to the battlefield when other men stated that they will stay to protect their children. She has that courage that I don't have. I can still identify her face even if it was covered in grime and blood. She held a piece of paper in her hand as she shouts desperately for her petition to be granted.

The speakers blasted, "Petitions should be in this order: Military and Volunteers, Children of Military and Volunteers, and then we will entertain others. It's a fair system don't get us wrong. Please fall in line or we're not going to grant all the petitions."

Quickly the lines were formed. Vicerra lined up in the military line. I got the petition form and a pen from the counter. I filled it out while lining up.

Vicerra saw me and pulled me in.

"You don't have to line up last. You were a brave soldier after all."

"Who are you getting petitions for?"

"Basically everyone in the family is currently missing. I'm getting the petition for my boyfriend and his family too. I really don't know if they're alive or not. Communications are cut off on their side. They're in the North and West Shelter."

"I'm getting petitions too. I heard my girlfriend is dying. I have to eventually extract her corpse or something, so I'm getting petitions myself. My father is confirmed dead, he's in the North Shelter. My mother is alive together with my sister and other relatives."

"I really have to question this world on why do we have to go through this mess."

"I have thought so myself."

Vicerra passed her paper and told me she is going to her mom in the shelter. That is the last time I saw her, or is it?

My mom doesn't even want to say goodbye to me as she knows that I'll visit after honeymoon period was done as what my sister did.

She prepared me breakfast and hugged me. I was not afraid of anything. I saw death. I saw bombs. I saw rivers of blood.

I walked out the door diving into the unknown. What else would have get me cowering?

The hall was just a mere walk from our house.

It was already three years since those days. Some things never changed though. The ruins are still ruins. Rivers are still dry from being suffocated by human blood. I really hate this feeling. This hole inside my heart is still a void and will remain a void.

I had gone through medications in the lab just to get these episodes from happening.

The air was cold and the rain is soft but it won't just stop pouring. I didn't open an umbrella because I would eventually leave it in one of the counters. I don't want to get exhausted by forgetting to pick this up.

I arrive at the hall and I placed my finger in the scanner. The lady on the counter gave me a little receipt. It read: 4aL:M135-0003. Seat area: BF16. Room: B6.

The operation from my jaws went freaking aching as I got a seat in the hall. I can't believe this. After three years of loneliness, abstinence, and lovelessness, it boiled down to this. I got to the pantry to look for water. I did find one and gulped at least three pills. It's enough to keep me pain-free for a whole day, I think.

A man in a white coat eventually greeted all of us.

"Good morning citizens of the Region. We welcome you to the second presiding of the biennial pairing. Now let's get started."

"4aL:M147-0001. 4aQ:M146-0001. 4aR:M143-0002. 4a... "

He started calling ten codes. The men bowed with respect and entered the designated ten rooms.

The man called out. 'Please wait for twenty to thirty minutes for the next batch.'

I muttered in my mind, 'Twenty minutes. Let's just get this done already.'

"…4aL:M135-0002, 4aL:M135-0003..."

I slowly stood up and lined up in the side along with the other men and walked towards and in front of the door. "Please enter the room." The speakers boomed.

We all turned the knob at the same time entered the door.

The room was stone cold. A woman directed me where to sit. The presiding officer was a woman wearing a white blouse. She was smiling at me but there was sadness in her eyes. The other side of the room is separated by a cloth and a woman was already sitting in the other side.

I felt nothing. My head throbs a little and a trickle of sweat escaped my forehead. The presiding officer quickly read the statement.

"4aQ:F136-0001 and 4aL:M135-0003 are citizens in this country and therefore must abide with the laws and consider this ceremony obligatory and as your lifetime responsibility. Consider the consequences of not abiding with the state. You can request for a reshuffle and consider another person to be paired to you but it would be from the lower niche. Bear in mind that we seek compatibility whether it be for your intelligence quotient, emotional quotient, heredity, and fertility."

The presiding officer unveiled the cloth.

I saw Vicerra.