8 C8: Chloe

Today I went to school and met up with Chloe at the school lockers after receiving a text from her last night, she wanted to meet me after school.

I arrived at the lockers and saw Chloe with her friends Carmen and Stacey, they were laughing and having fun talking.

I walked up to them and Stacey and Carmen looked at me with disgust. I did not mind this because I am used to it. The two of them, along with almost all of the kids from my grade don't like me - they say I'm gay.

Those two girls don't think I deserve Chloe, but Chloe still chose me and I am proud of that. Although I do look gay, I try to hide it and over the years, it has been working out for me, but now, after meeting sis - I don't know.

I greeted the three of them and only Chloe greeted me back. The other two said their goodbye to her and left through the entrance.

Chloe waved them off and when they were out of sight she took me by my hands and said, "Reign, we need to talk."

I felt strange, the way she looked at me made me feel pity for myself.

We headed to the back of the school where the soccer field was and sat on the bleachers, holding hands.

Chloe was popular for her looks and wherever she went, people would look and I used to feel - shit.

I don't know why she liked me and I was honestly happy at first, but I know she was pitying me, it's just that I never asked.

I used to think I loved her even though I am gay. Later I learnt that it was love, but love for a sister and to make it worse, when she kissed me and tried making out with me, I would reject her - I did try at the beginning though but it's hard.

"Reign, you know that I love you, right?" She said while stroking my right hand with her thumb.

I was afraid, I didn't want to look at her, I knew something bad was going to happen. "Yeah Chloe, I know you love me."

"Do you love me Reign?" she asked me, I did not look at her and this must have made her angry. She gripped onto my hand tightly and grabbed my face with a firm grip and made me look at her.

I looked at her in the eye and I could see that she was furious, "Answer me!" she yelled under her breath.

I looked elsewhere and answered, "I do love you."

"Look me in the eyes and say it!" She demanded from me.

I looked at her and tears started to form in my eyes and my heart was beating fast leaving a slight pain behind.

"I-i-i d-do l-l-love yo-you C-hloe, it's j-just that, I do-don't l-love you l-like you love m-me." My tears already started falling.

She let go of my face and I could see tears in her eyes.

After she let go of me, I pulled back and quickly dried my eyes. She looked away after watching me dry my eyes and stared at the soccer field.

"Reign, why have you been stringing me on this whole time?" she asked.

"I-i don't k-know," I answered her while biting down on my bottom lip.

The two of us sat in silence for a while, while holding hands. My hands were shaking and I knew Chloe could feel it. She held my hands in hers and we sat there.

"Reign, my parents are getting a divorce," she said. My heart trembled hearing this, but I saw this one coming.

"And I will be living with my mother because my dad is too violent, we will be moving away once the divorce is final," she said with sadness in her eyes.

I opened my mouth because I wanted to say something, but nothing came out. I looked down to the soccer field.

I could feel my tears welling up - I feel hurt.

"I called you out because since I am moving away, we will have to break up."

My mind blanked out after this, I know Chloe continued saying more about why we were breaking up, but I couldn't hear her voice.

She had tears in her eyes and so did I. I could feel how empty I was beginning to feel. I love Chloe, I do and I don't want her out of my life. We did not speak much, but we had a special connection - I know we did.

"C-chloe a-are you l-leaving b-because of m-m?" I asked while trying to not cry.

Chloe looked at me with a bitter smile and shook her head - I don't believe her.

We said our goodbye's after an hour and the walk back home was a quiet one. Reaching my bed, I dropped down and cried myself to sleep. It hurt. It hurt so much.

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