3 Chapter 1-Tension of Two Different Worlds

Freedom is the most valuable and versatile power you can have....

Whether it be mental freedom, emotional freedom, physical freedom, financial freedom, or religious freedom.

The category of freedom doesn't matter when it's no longer an option or luxury you get to enjoy.

If somebody takes away your freedom and you constantly struggle to get it back, they have taken away your guide to true contentment and long-term happiness within your life. You will not truly be able to rest a day in your life if you don't have that basic necessity of life. A lot of people take their freedom for granted until it's snatched away from them suddenly and unexpectedly.

That's how it was for me, anyways....

I say all of this with such certainty and conviction because of one traumatic event that took place in my life, which caused a paradigm shift in how I viewed the concept of freedom and how it truly affected my life.

Growing up in a devout Christian household and being in the closet as a bisexual guy for two years has given me some perspective on what it means to be free.

Or what it once meant to be free, technically speaking....

My mom and my oldest brother were always the biggest obstacles standing in my way of true freedom.

The freedom to express my thoughts and opinions, even if they don't necessarily agree with me....

The freedom to embrace my sexuality without it being an attack on their fragile egos or their selfish desire to change me for a sense of "comfort" they don't deserve....

The freedom to live my life the way I want because it's the only one I'll ever have....

In my opinion, it would be the same thing as trying to assimilate with white people and leave my values as a black person at the door.

My desire to honor my true identity will always beat the fake praise and approval I would receive for betraying everything I stand for.

I would never do it for white people,who only see it as an excuse to absolve themselves from racism....

And I'm not going to do it for straight people or homophobic people, who seem to think I shouldn't even consider my sexuality as a part of my identity to take pride in just like my race.

I think that's just a funny way of saying:"We're okay with you being proud of your blackness because we agree with that, but keep that gay shit to yourself since it has nothing to do with us."

People's ulterior motives don't surprise me anymore, but their ability to lie straight to my face and think they're being slick really does....

That's all the more reason I have to make it undeniably clear that I'm black and bisexual.

My identity isn't something people can netiogate with me about, it just is what it is and I'm not going to deny a part of myself to make other people happy.

Sometimes, I feel like I don't exactly fit in with any singular group of people because of who I am.

Almost like I'm a minority within a minority, but I'm in a constant tug-of-war between the two.

Regardless, I'll always hold my head up with pride for my identity because I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Their massive insecurities to try and shove me into a "One Size Fits All" box will continue to live on, but my resistance to letting someone else determine my life for me won't die easily.