19 Chapter 18-Her Overwhelming Presence

Almost like a surreal blur,Fumiko and Aiyana found themselves in the middle of dance floor.There was only one defining difference between how they felt dancing with each other on dance floor about an hour ago vs how they felt right now in this very moment.They were currently the center of attention and everyone else in the gym was staring at them,as if they were waiting for some kind of show and the girls were the stars.

"What are they looking at? Can't we just dance in peace?"Fumiko thought to herself,annoyed with the audience who formed a circle around her and Aiyana.

Her softened,violet eyes and bubblegum pink blush quickly became an anger-induced,eggplant purple glare directed at some of other kids.She knew it was a bit rude to do something like that,but Fumiko found it very uncouth for them to disregard their right to privacy.

"Why is everybody being so nosy? They need to stop staring at us and go on somewhere."Aiyana ruminated,getting frustrated with the unwelcome eyes of unwelcome onlookers.

She was ready to slow dance with Fumiko one last time tonight until everyone started acting weird.The student body's stares and silence surrounding their return to the dance floor made her feel weird,which she absolutely despised because being seen as weird was like being rejected.

Nobody ever respected the outsiders who had fallen from grace after they messed up their chance of fitting in....

Aiyana felt like they were judging her and Fumiko,which also made her feel like they were doing something wrong or abnormal.

Fumiko and Aiyana felt like they were on display when all they wanted to do was dance with each other,preferably without most of the student body watching them so closely and intently.

"Aiyana?"Fumiko whispered,trying to keep voice lowered in fear of the crowd hearing her.

"Yeah?"Aiyana questioned,wanting to know what Fumiko had to say about the student body standing before them.

"What do you think we should do?"Fumiko asked,not really knowing what plan of action to take in regards to the crowd.

Aiyana took a deep breath before answering Fumiko's question.She had a feeling the students wouldn't leave them alone unless they got what they wanted.Aiyana also had a feeling Fumiko probably wouldn't feel comfortable dancing while they all stared at her,but Aiyana didn't really care about them as along as she got to dance with Fumiko.They only had so long before the dance was over and she was going to make their final dance count.No amount of prying eyes would stop her from dancing until the music fades away to silence.

If there was music and a melody,they could dance until their legs gave out.

"If the crowd wants a show,we'll give them a show...."Aiyana replied,a tone and subtle smirk implying she was starting to find some of sort of enjoyment out of this situation.

"Why should we entertain them? Frankly,it's none of their concern if we give them a show or not."Fumiko retorted,crossing her arms and shooting the crowd a quick glare.

She also put air qoutes around the "give them a show" comment because she didn't like the implication of making their special night a source of entertainment for other people.Fumiko usually trusted Aiyana's judgement,but she didn't agree with this take and felt like this a form of exploitation being taken lightly.

"This isn't about them getting what THEY want,this is about us not letting them physically or mentally trap us by doing what WE want."Aiyana explained,grabbing Fumiko's hand and pulling her body closer to her own.

Fumiko didn't know if she should laugh in amusement or coo in endearment.Either way,Aiyana always had such a way with words that never ceased to amaze Fumiko.She put her arms on Aiyana's waist as Aiyana put her hands on her shoulders,finally beginning to regain their momentum once again.Fumiko found it easiest to ignore the crowd by looking into Aiyana's eyes or just looking at her in general.

When she was with Aiyana,she knew she could actually feel a sense of safety and free from her burdens.No matter where she was or who else was around...Fumiko knew her safe space could be formed in even the most hostile of environments just from Aiyana's presence.Especially when Fumiko felt like she couldn't force herself to keep moving forward out of pure exhaustion and a very early onset burnout...Aiyana was her biggest motivatior,the girl who made her realize there was so much more worth in her life than just aimlessly devoting it to others.

Specifically those who didn't do anything to deserve such devotion and dedication,which was most likely an obvious reference to her father.

Without Aiyana's overwhelming presence and influence in her life,she would have never tried or even wanted to break free from what was making her miserable.She would never see a problem with the predetermined prophecy her father had completely mapped out for her.As time slowly progressed,Fumiko began to see a future where she was in control over.

The one thing Fumiko consistently lacked in her life was a sense of control.

It didn't bother her too much when she was younger,but once she got closer to Aiyana and realized what her life could have been all along...Fumiko absolutely despised the mere thought of not being in control or having a say in the things she would do.She was terrified of the consequences that would come from disobeying her father yet a future with little to no control made her even more scared.Fumiko had never felt so upset or alone when she found out that her father's extreme manipulation and control wasn't a normal part of a little girl's childhood.

Those feelings that caused Fumiko to experience isolation,jealousy,and anger towards other girls didn't dissipate until 5th grade.That was the year Fumiko discovered what feminism was.It was also the year that she came to the realization she was a lesbian and didn't feel any forms of attraction to boys.She leaned heavily onto the discovery of both the femme based communities,which led her to realize she wasn't alone and she could rest easier knowing that her feelings were valid.Fumiko finally felt like she had another purpose in her life that was entirely her choice...she could devote herself to being a big advocate for women's rights and lgbt rights.

Fumiko researched and retained as much information as she could about both of the communities.She came to the conclusion that she was a womanist,a term and movement that spawned as a more inclusive version of feminism...which she found to be only interested in further the rights of white women instead of women of all races.Through her research about lesbians and the identity of lesbians,she was able to come to terms with her newfound identity at age 11.She knew owed her willingness for personal growth and personal freedom to Aiyana,who showed her what exactly what female freedom and independence looked like.

Fumiko owed Aiyana's immense presence in her life a lot of recognition.

It wasn't just her emotional presence that Fumiko depended on,it was her physical presence that made Fumiko's feelings even stronger.

The sound of her voice when she softly spoke sweet nothings into Fumiko's ear during one of her bout of sadness or depression.

The touch of her skin when Aiyana would be the shoulder for Fumiko to cry on because the heaviness of a very demanding and stressful world became too much for her at times.

The smell of Aiyana's hair when she was pulled into one of Aiyana's amazing and seemingly endless hugs,resulting in Fumiko's face brushing up against Aiyana's thick,long curly tussles of raven black hair.

All she needed to do was just relax and trust Aiyana...she's never failed her before,so there's no reason for her to become so flustered now.

Fumiko needed to let Aiyana take control and take the lead...she reminded herself it was okay to not always be in control...even though she usually liked being in control due to the fact that she never got to be control in her early childhood.

To let someone you love have control sometimes was a completely normal and healthy thing.

"Let's give them a dance they'll never forget,okay?"Fumiko said,warming up to Aiyana's idea.

"That's what I like to hear...I'm glad you want to share this dance with me,Fumiko."Aiyana said,getting back into the slow dance momentum.

"Of course...I'm happy I'm here with you."Fumiko responded,following Aiyana's lead and pace.

As their pace and momentum increased,their feelings of unease did the opposite...making their last few moments of the homecoming dance successful.

In the background,there was a commencement of cheers and praise to be heard for the two girls...a crowd of supporters steadily growing and making their presence known.