Ganesha's Party

Shoutout to my new patron:

FreddyFazz4

Ash01

You are bloody legends!

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~If I get drunk, well, I know I'm gonna be~

~I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you~

~And if I haver, yeah, I know I'm gonna be~

~I'm gonna be the man who's haverin' to you~

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"Are you ready?" Steve asked as he walked into lobby area where Ptah was waiting for him.

The gamer was dressed in a similar fashion as the clothes Ptah had made for him except there were a few changes. This time Steve had bracers on and the shoulder rest was slightly bigger. Steve had also swapped out the golden loincloth and belt for a black one with white flower designs. Steve had wanted to cut all the flashy gold out so he didn't appear vain. It was just a casual party after all, not any place where you had to be formal.

"Sure I'm ready." Ptah said. "You definitely took your sweet time. You're lucky that you're actually able to teleport us there, otherwise we'd be so late."

Ptah was dressed like he normally was except in some finer fabrics like silk and linen. And this time his bald head was covered by a 'Nemes', which was the headdress that pharaoh's typically wore. Ptah had also gone out of his way with the kohl. Instead of doing a normal line under his eyes, Ptah had actually drawn on the Eye of Horus. Despite looking so much like a kid, the look actually fit him so well. You couldn't get more Ancient Egyptian than him.

In Ptah's left hand was the Sceptre, which he looked to be using like a staff or a walking stick. He was being the complete opposite of Steve as even the shoulder rest was laden with small gold plates.

"Are you someone who likes being flashy everywhere he goes?" Steve deadpanned. "If you are, then you'd better make sure you never go into Daedalus."

"You think I'm that stupid. This is just for the party."

"It's a casual party Ptah. It's not like some sort of high profile party where the governors and nobles and royals from other countries are attending. It's just Ganesha."

"Doesn't make a difference. Ganesha loves people coming dressed culturally and that's what I'm doing. Just because you don't want to put your wealth on display, doesn't mean I have to abstain as well."

"I've put my wealth on display. It's just that I want...never mind. We're just wasting time like this. What's the name of Ganesha's crib?"

"I Am Ganesha." Ptah answered. Steve blinked at him.

"Come again."

"I know right? But literally, that's the name of his headquarters. It's this massive stature of a guy with an elephant head, and the statue is called 'I Am Ganesha'. Look it up if you don't believe me."

Steve typed in the [/locate] command into his chat bar and sure enough, 'I Am Ganesha' appeared as a veritable location to travel to. Steve could do nothing but stand in sullen disbelief. Ganesha was a nice guy for sure, but was he that self-centred that not only did he scream that stupid catchphrase every chance he got, but his freaking Familia Home was called that as well?

"If you think that's bad, just wait and see how we enter that place." Ptah said. "It's outright insulting...but then again, he does have the biggest Familia in Orario so he's accomplished something for himself."

"He does?" Steve raised an eyebrow as he had not heard of this before. "Since when?"

"Since forever. He's actually got eleven 5's on him if I remember correctly. And then of course, his Familia are the police force as well as the managers of the Amphitheatron, and also a Familia specialized in monster tamers. When you take into account the broad expanse of such occupations and responsibilities, it stands to reason that he would have the most members."

"He definitely seems like an accommodating guy. I mean he tried to recruit me the first time I entered the city."

"Really?" Ptah raised an eyebrow. "You never told me."

"It was the same day we met. It seems when he's not gallivanting around, he's manning the security post at the South Gate. When he saw Bathsheba, he was enamoured by her and for her alone, he wanted to recruit me into the Ganesha Familia, promising good housing for her and the like."

"So why didn't you accept it then? The hellspawn would have got fitting treatment, since they have special facilities to house animals and monsters like her."

Steve narrowed his eyes. "One, there is no way I'm letting my darling little Bathsheba spend most of her days in a cage like all the other lowly monsters. Two, they would not have been able to hold her even as she was before. And three, she's not a mindless threat to be wary of all the time. She was created to enjoy freedom and freedom is what she has. And four, I had my own agenda so I couldn't join him. Now for that 'hellspawn' comment, we won't be teleporting there." Steve picked Ptah up off the ground and held him there suspended by his belt. "Bathsheba will be giving us a lift."

"OH NO! HELL NO!" Ptah tried to wrestle himself out of Steve's hand. "LET ME DOWN! WE HAD AN AGREEMENT!"

"Yes we did, and you just broke it." Steve chided as he kicked open the front door. "Sweetheart, come over here please." Bathsheba who had been asleep on top of the grotto bounded off of it in response to his call. "Can you drop us off at Ganesha's place please?" Bathsheba yapped at him. "You already know where it is? Oh, you saw it while running around the city? Fine, let's go."

Steve tossed the struggling and spitting god onto the Warg's back before hoisting himself up as well.

"Put me down this instant you petulant mortal!" Ptah yelled at him.

"Hold on to your butt." Steve smiled at him over his shoulder. "This ride is gonna be a bit sore."

"CAN YOU NOT PHRASE IT LIKE THAT!"

Steve dug his heel into Bathsheba's side and the wolf took off in the direction she knew. Due to Ptah not having proper hold onto her back, he was nearly blown right off of her as she lurched forwards. Luckily for him, he managed to grab on to her tail and stop himself from colliding with the ground.

And thus the group was stuck with a comical sight as folks walking about in the street saw a giant wolf rush by with a man on her back and a child swinging around in the air, ever so close to scraping his body on the ground as he clung for dear life onto the wolf's tail. All the while Steve laughed at Ptah's predicament.

...

But such was Bathsheba's speed that eventually she managed to reach the stairs to the statue of Ganesha in just mins alone. The sudden halt had Ptah fly face first into Bathsheba's rump where he stuck for a few seconds like a pancake, before his body peeled off and he collapsed to the ground in a daze as his eyes span in his delirium. 

Steve meanwhile gazed up the stairs towards the entrance, and he realized what Ptah had meant when he said to wait and see how they'd be entering the place. The Statue was shaped like an elephant headed man sitting cross-legged. And the doorway into the giant construct was placed between its leg's, right where Ganesha's winkle would be located considering that the statue depicted him.

"Is he a closet perv, a narcissist or a buffoon?" Steve asked.

"Probably all three." Ptah said as he shakily stood up. "With a side-dish of lacking self-awareness in serious situations. I swear, he never changes."

"Was he the same in Tenkai?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." Ptah said. "He's a little bit on the older side when it comes to his pantheon...but ever since I travelled to his part of heaven and first met him, there has been absolutely no change in his character."

"How is it not tiring, keeping up the same act all the time?" Steve asked.

"We're immortal. You'd be surprised how long we can keep up an 'act'."

"Speaking of." Steve looked down at Ptah. "In my world, the stories I've heard of you depicted you as someone who loved travelling and seeking knowledge everywhere he went. Ptah was suspected to have been the founder of the Egyptian Pantheon but cared so little for control over it that he picked up his bags and left again for new adventurers. But people say that you're a lazy slob who only ever stays in one place."

"Later on in my life." Ptah said as he crossed his arms. "But for the first part of my life, especially the first few million years, I was travelling far and wide. I only stopped travelling when Gefn-" Ptah halted his words there all of a sudden, seeming to realize that he probably shouldn't have continued on as he did. Once again, that sullen look that he'd had a couple of hours before returned to his face.

It really hooked Steve's curiosity on what the story was there. There was some clear connection between Ptah and Freya, and whatever it was, it could not have ended well. But as heartless as Steve could be, he knew where he drew his limits.

"Let's forget about it then." Steve said. "We're here for a good time, not to soil the fun with our baggage."

"...Thanks." Ptah said as he fixed his Nemes. "Anyway, shall we go in?"

"Yes. Let's get it started in here." Steve said as he jumped off of the Warg. At this point, she had drawn the attention of some people by the entrance, and an adventurer came running over to him.

"Mr Stephen! Mr Stephen!" The other boys said as he slid to a halt in front of Steve. "It's so good to see you again!"

"Huh?" Steve raised a brow as he looked at the adventurer. "Oh, hey Modaka."

Modaka looked at him, stunned all of a sudden before he started bawling his eyes out and clutched Steve's hand while holding it to his forehead. Steve shared a look with the puzzled Ptah as they both stared at the guy.

"Was it something I said?" Steve asked the adventurer.

"You remembered me! You remembered my name!" Modaka howled, streams of tears coming out. "Nobody ever bothers remembering my real name, not even my own god! And yet you were the first one to remember it! A level 9 of all people! I'm just so happy!"

"Alright, pull yourself together." Steve barked as he 'lightly' slapped Modaka across the face, knocking the guy to the ground. "Did you come here for a reason."

"Owwwww." Modaka moaned as he nursed his swollen cheek while on the floor. "Yes, I caught sight of you and Miss Bathsheba here. I had to insist that she does not enter either. Animals are not allowed-"

"Of course they're not allowed in." Steve grumbled. "I only brought her because she gave us a ride."

"That's good to know." Modaka got up and held his hands out. "We could take care of her in the meantime? There might just be a free space in the stables where she could rest, and of course, we could feed her. It is a party-day after all and Lord Ganesha wishes to make it as lavish and hospitable as possible."

Steve cast a questioning glance at the Warg and she snorted back.

"She agrees." Steve said. "Take care of her."

"Yes of course. You go up those stairs, and go through the main door, you'll walk right into the heart of the party itself." Modaka bowed. "Please do enjoy yourself."

"Thanks." Steve said as he gestured Ptah to come along. "Behave now Bathsheba. Don't cause any trouble."

The Warg yowled in response before she looked at the nervous Modaka who had suddenly gone pale as he realized he was the only one left with this great beast. 

"Well, if you'll come along Miss." Modaka said as he held his hand out to her. "The stables are right this-YAAAHHHH!" The boy yelped as Bathsheba snapped at his hand. The thud of sharp teeth colliding made it very apparent that she did not want to handle him and she gave him a cold glare, her blue eyes penetrating his very soul. "F-Fine, no touching. You can't t-touch a lady without her permission, I do understand that. If you'll follow me..." 

Modaka began walking away, as Bathsheba followed him. But the poor fellow was so terrified all of a sudden that each second he was looking over his shoulder, hoping that she wouldn't be over him with his head about to get clamped between her jaws. 

He really didn't like this animal...

---

"Dumb bastard actually makes his guests walk through his crotch, the dirty retard." Ptah growled as they reached the top step.

"Not sure that's quite a nice way to address our host." Steve said. "First off, it's rude and second, it's not very good manners."

"You slander and backbite Ishtar all the time though." Ptah gagged as he remembered the tofu incident. "In some of the most gross ways too."

"She's an evil, sadistic whore though."

"Fair enough. Although, not as bad as Sekhmet." Ptah wondered before he cleared his throat. "Anyway, you'll see one of the best examples of Ganesha's stupidity." Ptah held up his fingers. "In, three, two one..."

The ground suddenly started shaking as Steve saw a literal dust cloud rush straight towards them out of the party. It came to a stop about a feet in front of them, and Ganesha emerged out of the cartoonish construct doing a ballet twirl. He then spun out of it in a skater's pose as he leaned downwards.

"HELLLLOOOOOO! I AM GANESHA!" The man with the elephant mask sang as he held a hand out to Ptah. "It is so great an honour to have you here, Ptah-chacha-"

BANG!

Ptah thumped him in the head, making the god's skull bury itself about a foot into the stone floor as a muffled shriek of surprise came from the downed god. Ptah grit his teeth as his fist smoked, gnashing in anger and annoyance.

"I've told you exactly seven million, one hundred thousand, four hundred and eighty one times now NOT TO CALL ME THAT!"

Ganesha stuck his hands on the floor and pulled his head out as bits of debris fell from his now chalky face.

"But you are someone worthy of such a respectful title." Ganesha tilted his head. "Are you not perhaps the oldest god in attendance today?"

"Say it one more time and there'll be another Familia today without a god." Ptah snarled.

"I jest." Ganesha waved of the threat. "Besides, you would not harm your ever loving and respectful nephew, would you?"

Ptah held the sharp prongs of his Sceptre to the elephant god's throat. "Try me."

"Haha." Ganesha laughed nervously before looking up at Steve. "I say, you are the boy I saw not a month ago at the gates of our great city with that beautiful night-black wolf correct? The one about as big as a young elephant?"

"That was me." Steve nodded. "And if I remember correctly, you are the one that offered me a place in his Familia right off the bat when I entered. How've you been?"

"I AM GANESHA!" Ganesha flexed his muscles as he posed. "How else could I have been?"

"....I guess that is actually a valid answer." Steve conceded. 

"So, you are a level nine hmm?" Ganesha hummed as he covered his chin with his hand. "I kind of regret not pressing you more into joining my Familia. I could have at last come on top of those three women."

"Freya, Loki and Hephaestus I assume?" Steve said as he noticed Ptah shift a little at that last name. The little god suddenly started looking all around the party hall for the mentioned goddess.

"Who else?" Ganesha said as he sighed and put the back of his hands on his hips and looked up at the trunk of his statue home. "I have gathered the biggest Familia in the whole damn city, but when it comes to man-power alone, I am only a contender for fourth place in the power ladder. If I'd had you young man, that position would have gone up significantly."

"So you just accept that I'm level 9." Steve asked. "You have no issue with that?"

"Well if Ptah says to the guild that you're a level 9, that alone is confirmation enough for me. Even without the affirmation of the Loki Familia. Which reminds me." Ganesha suddenly straightened, and then bowed to Steve with his back ram-rod straight and his arms straight and perfectly parallel to his sides. "Please take care of my uncle for me. He does not express it, but he does get terribly lonely when he has no family to keep him company-"

CLANG!

Ptah bashed Ganesha over the head with the Sceptre. 

"The hell did I just say?!!!" Ptah threatened as his golden irises turned red.

"Sorry, Cha-...Ptah. It's just a force of habit." Ganesha nursed the bump on his head. "It's just that you were the one that took me into your temple when Shiva booted me out of the pantheon."

"And annoyed me so much that I threatened the blue twat that I'd rip his balls out if he didn't take you back! The only good thing about you was that you made tasty sweets! And made me develop a damn sweet tooth while you were at it, so even that became a bad thing in the end."

"How hurtful!" Ganesha moaned as he threw his head back dramatically and cried. "I AM GANESHAAAAAAAAA!"

"STOP REPLACING THE 'WAAAAAAHHHH!' WITH YOUR OBNOXIOUS CATCHPHRASE! IS THAT REALLY HOW YOU CRY!"

...

"Do you have bad history with every god we come across?" Steve said as he sweat-dropped. "And Shiva? I swear he's like a destroyer god or something?"

"Nothing for me to be concerned about. It took both him and the three-faced freak together to be even acknowledgeable to me."

"...You just pick fights with everyone, don't you?" Steve said dryly.

"Anyway, enjoy the party." Ganesha welcomed them both in, even as the angry red bump on his head thrummed in pain. "Don't hold yourselves back. This is a cultural party, so eat and drink to your fill and be at leisure! There is plenty to go around!"

"Thank you for the invite." Steve said as he procured something from his inventory. A dark glass bottle with golden liquid inside, though in the dim light outside, it was hard to see the exact colour. "For you my lord."

"A gift?" Ganesha asked inquisitively. "For the host?"

"Yes...is that not a thing?" Steve asked feeling worried.

Due to his parent's mining business, they did go to a lot of parties or visit a lot of people's homes for business relations and the like. And he'd been taught that it was always customary to bring a gift when visiting an Indian home, typically a bottle of wine...this particular one being that which he had pressed from golden apples using a mod.

"On the contrary, it is very welcome a gesture." Ganesha smiled before he ushered them. "Enter and knock yourselves out with fun. I AM GANESHA!"

They bowed their heads and entered the temple, although Ptah was still grumbling in anger. Steve gave him a side eye and snickered.

"Heh...chacha..."

"Don't. You. Dare." Ptah warned.

"Whatever." Steve said, although he made sure to store the word in the back of his head to weaponize against Ptah at some point in the future. He then began looking all around.

"It really isn't the decor I was expecting. I thought it would be more eastern but it's still very much western in appearance."

"Go further into the temple and it becomes more culture specific." Ptah said. "The entrance makes all people feel more welcome. Anyway, judging by the exact way you are looking around, I'm assuming you're looking for your little princess."

"That is exactly what I'm doing." Steve said as he tried to find Ais in the crowd. "Shouldn't you be looking for your lady friend?"

"And do what exactly?" Ptah asked. "It's all very well that you can just walk up to a girl and call her cute. You think I have the...qualifications to do the same."

"No."

"This is the part where you're supposed to say 'yes' and encourage me to do it!"

"So you do want to ask her out. Just grow a spine. I did my part and took both girls, now how hard can it be for you to do the same for one person?"

"It just...is, okay. I can't help it."

"She'll be taken by someone else at this point." Steve sighed before he suddenly perked up in realization. 

'Wait. At this point in time, didn't Welf capture her interest? Or was that some time later after he met Bell? Oh, it will be bad if it is the case.'

If Hephaestus was already in puppy love with Welf, then Ptah was chasing a lost cause. Thinking about that situation actually brought him to the cursed eye problem that the goddess supposedly had under that eye-patch. From what he read of her, that was the main point of her insecurities and it was due to Welf's acceptance of her even with that deformity that she fell in love with him.

In the small chance that Welf had not yet gone through such an experience with her, then Hephaestus still had that curse...did it count as a status effect? Steve put a thumb on his chin as he suddenly remembered a specific way to remove curses in-game...a specific way to do it as well.

Maybe, just maybe...

Steve then saw a flash of gold hair as the person he'd been looking for finally emerged on one of the upper floors in the lounge. Ais was sitting in one of the recliners on one of the balconies at the top of the stairs. Steve smiled and flew up to the railing behind her. Once he reached up there, he caught sight of Loki actually sitting opposite the girl on another recliner with a glass of wine in hand. 

Loki caught sight of him and sat up straight and upright in alert as she saw the boy come up behind her favourite child. Ais tilted her head at Loki's behaviour, confused as to why Loki had such an expression of her face and half wary that it was some half-assed attempt to get Ais to drop her guard so Loki could grope her. It wouldn't be the first time the goddess had tried it. But then she felt a breath on her shoulder as she heard a very welcome voice speak behind her.

"Hello, beautiful." Steve said as he leaned his arms and his head on the railing as he looked at her.

Ais turned around to look at him in surprise, of course because he was someone dangling over the edge of a large drop from the balcony to the main floor. But as soon as she recognised him, she smiled the same smile she'd given him when they'd parted, a rather large smile than was atypical for her and one she seemed to only give him.

"Hey Steve." She said. "It's good to see you."

"Not as good as it is to see you." He replied before looking down at her outfit. She was outfitted with a dress that was white as base colour but had plenty of glamourous ribbons of pink silk with golden clasps, and to top it off, there was a silver necklace round her throat laid with a relatively large yellow gemstone that matched. The helm ended some way at her calves while she had white high-heeled dance sandals on her feet, revealing her nails to be varnished blue. Her appearance noticeably made him a little red in the cheeks, which Ais took pleasure in as she recognised that shyness she and Tiona enjoyed seeing out of him.

"You're gorgeous." He said to her, blinking far too many times than he had to out of his embarrassment.

"And you look quite good too." She said as she too noted his outfit. It was like the one he wore to the hostess but in her opinion much better. The flashy gold looked a little out of place and unbefitting of him. This relatively more modest clothing suited him a lot better. Tiona said he looked better when his muscles were on display...and she had to agree at certain times. He did look better in this fashion. "You look like a Prince from one of the Kaios desert nations."

"You look more like royalty yourself. But if we are both reminiscent of such classes..." Steve leaned forwards. "...may the prince greet his princess appropriately?"

Ais nodded and leaned forwards with her eyes closed. Steve obliged and kissed her a little more lightly than usual. Just something of a welcoming and sweet hello than a passionate gesture of love. Although they were interrupted when without having to open his eyes, he lifted a hand and caught an apple that almost hit him in the face.

"So it true!" Loki slurred as she got to her feet. He opened his eyes to look at her and the apple, before realizing that there was a fruit bowl on the table next to her. "Predator! Pervert! Home-wrecker!"

"You again?" He droned as he broke the kiss with a pouting Ais. Ais then wrapped her arms around one of his as she too turned to face the goddess. "What's the matter with you? Every time you see my face, you just want to start something. Last time you even tried to throw up in my face after you got hammered."

"You took my Aisy-poo. That's why!" Loki exclaimed. "You lecherous wolf! Capturing and tricking an innocent girl like that! Do you mean to have your way with her and discard her once you've had your fill? I will do everything in my power to make sure that that does not happen to my child!"

"Aren't you the one always trying to molest her?" Steve deadpanned. "And are you really comparing me to promiscuous bastards out there who go and pay Ishtar a visit while their wives are sleeping at home?"

"All men are pigs!" Loki exclaimed, catching the attention of a few gods nearby. "The fact that you ensnared my Ais is proof of that!"

"Make sense you drunken fool." Steve said. "Or must you subject yourself to torture by an actual pig?"

"Oh yeah, and who would that be?" Loki challenged.

"...He's talking about me." Ptah said behind Loki, who shrieked in surprise as he suddenly appeared. "Although I have specified time and time again that I'm not a glutton."

"Yes you are."

"Whatever." Ptah said before he looked at Loki. "Lopt!"

"Yes sir!" Loki went white as a sheet and stood straight, saluting like a soldier, throwing her wine glass away in the process. It flew past Steve and sailed over the dance floor before landing on someone's head down there, drenching them in the red liquid and soiling their outfit...which unfortunately for them was a tuxedo. Steve felt sorry for the poor soul.

"This is a party, and a party is a congregation of dignity and delight, as well as socialization and cohesion and good manners." Ptah lectured.

'Aren't you the one who assaulted the host twice over an endearing title?' Steve thought in the irony of it, marvelling at Ptah's shameless hypocrisy.

"Are you going to behave yourself, or must I get involved?" Ptah challenged Loki.

"Yes sir...I-I mean, no sir!" Loki chanted, her legs shaking in terror.

"Good girl." Ptah nodded. "Now, chair!"

"Yes sir!" Loki said as she smoothed out the place she'd been sitting on and plumping the pillows properly, allowing Ptah to take her place arrogantly. He sighed in content as he sank into the cushions.

"Aaaahhh, now that is luxury." Ptah said as he closed his eyes to savour the sensation.

"Anything else, Lord Ptah?" Loki clasped her hands nervously, wringing her fingers.

"You know what? Since you so magnanimously offered, go and bring me a sandwich. I'm starving."

"Yes sir!" Loki saluted before she began marching down the stairs, military style, pushing people aside and not caring for the angry looks they gave her as she made her way over to the buffet.

Meanwhile, Steve and Ais stared at him in disbelief as Ptah sat on the recliner and hummed while making sure to stretch himself out fully. He literally looked like a spoilt little boy Pharaoh as he waited for a servant to bring him food. 

"Maybe I should join your Familia." Ais said to Steve. "She's much better this way."

"...Naughty." Steve tutted. "That is not a nice thing to say."

"It's true though." Ais said innocently.

"Believe me, trading Loki for Ptah? That's a downgrade if ever there existed." Steve nodded to emphasize his point.

"I'm right here you know!" Ptah waved at them from his resting place.

"Don't pay attention to the midget." Steve said much to Ptah's indignant spluttering, as he finally vaulted over the railing and sat next to his girlfriend. "So, how did everybody take the news?"

And thus was the beginning to his eventful night in Ganesha's party as Steve conversed with his lover as their hands were clasped. But it was far from over, as several other people from the floor below turned their gazes to the balcony and towards Ptah and Steve, questions burning in their chests as all sought an answer tonight...and something to look forward to at the end of it all.

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