1 CHAPTER 1

A/N: swearing involved. I'm terribly sorry if it causes any inconveniences.

Beep! Beep!! Beep!!!

I groaned inwardly and turned towards my alarm clock and hit the snooze button. '5 minutes more.' I mumble and drift back to sleep. It only felt like I had just closed my eyes and then...

Beep! Beep!! Beep!!!

I ignored it and put a pillow over my head to try to block out the sound when I hear my door open and footsteps approaching. I guess they were trying to be stealthy but obviously failed miserably. I slowly opened my eyes and shrieked when I saw a lean, muscular figure hovering over me.

"Morning sleeping beauty." He says with a smirk on his face.

"Oh my God, Jace, you scared the living shit out of me." I say, a hand over my heart, still startled.

"Yeah…that was kind of like the point." He says, words drenched in sarcasm.

"What are you doing – you know what, never mind. Just get out." I say, my words a little muffled from the pillow that my head is currently buried in. I point my index finger towards the direction of the door or at least that's where I think it is….

"Nope." He says and plops himself down on my bed.

"Jace….if you don't get off my bed in approximately 0.1 seconds, I swear to God, mom is going to lose a child." I say, eyes still closed.

"Okay, okay. Jeez….you're feisty in the morning." He says and I can imagine him pouting.

"Get. Out." I say.

"Okay but just to let you know, it's 7:15." He states.

"7:15?!?!?! " I shriek.

"Calm your panties, woman. It's too early in the morning for this." He says, covering his ears.

"And you didn't think to mention this earlier?!" I shriek again, much to Jace's dismay.

"What kind of vocal cords do you have? And I was going to tell you when I came in but you really seemed to want my head on a stake and I would very much like to have my head attached to my body. Thank you." He states.

"And you found no other way to do that?" I ask.

"Nope." He replies.

"Ugh…just get out." I say, facepalming myself.

"Happily. It's a miracle my eardrums aren't bleeding from your screaming fest earlier. Oh and if you aren't ready in 30 minutes, I'm leaving you." He says and walks out.

"Bitch!" I yell after him.

"Love you too." I hear him yell back.

You! Random person reading about my life! Yes, you! You're probably wondering who that strange Jace person is. Well, Jace is my idiotic twin brother. Even though we might be twins, we are polar opposites (personality-wise, of course.) We look almost identical. Just switch our genders and you'll see. From the brown hair (I put in highlights though), to the hazel brown eyes, to the pink lips. We look exactly the same. It's just that I'm a girl and he's a guy. That's literally the only difference. For our personalities though….. Whereas he's athletic, I can't do a push up to save my life, he's extroverted, I'm introverted, he sings and dances, I draw and paint, he goes with the flow, I stand in the background, he has multiple friends, I have no friends, he's a player, I've never had a boyfriend. See? Completely different. My life in my old school is hopefully all in the past now. I's a new town, new school, new people and a new chance at life. I would never change who I am to please someone else but I would never allow myself to be trampled on or pushed over. Not anymore. I walked to the en suite bathroom and locked the door behind me. I walked to the sink and picked up my purple toothbrush and brushed my teeth. When I was done, I stepped into the shower and let the hot water wash away my worry and anxiety. At least for now. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my fluffy purple towel around my body and grabbed another one for my hair. Yeah, I really love purple. I walked out of the bathroom and strolled to my underwear drawer. I picked out my black lace bra and panties and quickly put them one. I lazily moved over to my closet and scanned my eyes through it. I hate picking out clothes. I'm not the type of girl that obsesses over clothes or shopping. I'm just an average girl. Without all the drama. Or the gossip. Or the makeup. Or the 12-inch heels. I finally found a gray sweatshirt that was wayyy too big for me – it literally covers my fingers and reaches me mid-thigh – and paired it with black fishnet leggings and black boots. I am pretty comfortable in my body. I had curves in all the right places but nobody ever knew but me. Good. I like it that way. I walked over to my vanity mirror and picked up a comb and lazily brushed it through my long – but soft and surprisingly tangle-free – brunette hair and put it in a messy bun with a few strands falling out. My hair is growing out of control. It's a little bit past my waist right now. Maybe I'll get a haircut sometime. My eyes search the room for nothing in particular before they finally fall on the makeup kit my aunt bought me on my 15th birthday. Apparently, I needed to 'break free of my cocoon and blossom into a beautiful social butterfly'. If only it were that easy, Aunt Katie, if only. I pondered on it for a while then decided to put some on, just for the heck of it. I know how to use it because apparently, my 'lessons' on how to become a 'social butterfly' involved me taking professional makeup lessons. I was never a fan of the stuff but I guess there's a first time for everything. I picked up the mascara wand and applied 2 coats to my lashes. I put on some cherry-flavored lip-gloss and pink blush to my cheeks. I'm trying to make it subtle enough. When I was done with the finishing touches, I actually look….Good. Oh my God, I actually look good. That's a first. I give myself a once-over and glance at my phone.

7:50am.

I hold in a shriek and rush downstairs for breakfast. I spot my mom by the island. She looked tired and on the verge of tears but when she spots me, it disappears like it was never there. I shrug it off. It's probably not a big deal. Might just be work and stuff.

"Morning mom." I say and give her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Morning sweetheart. How'd you sleep?" she asks.

"Good but not enough." I say with a smile on my face as I think about the different ways I can get my revenge. Watch your back, Jace.

"Of course it wasn't." she lets out a small laugh. "I'm going to work. You kids be good and Jace, don't ditch on your first day." She yells out to him.

"Okay, mother." He yells back and she chuckles.

"Bye, honey. Have a nice first day, okay?" she kisses the top of my forehead.

"You too, mom." I say and give her a hug which she immediately returns.

"I love you, okay?" she says.

"I love you too. Now go! You're going to be late." I say and she smiles at me before heading out. Her smile has not been the same since my dad left when my brother and 1 were both 7. When it happened, she tried to convince us that everything was okay. That she was okay. But we saw right through it every time. I can't even count the number of times I caught her crying all by herself in a corner. Even when she smiles, I can still see that dark, empty void that my father left and that part of her, the part of her that was wholly given to him, the part of her that could love was gone, destroyed, shattered and buried deep inside the abyss she calls life. All because he cheated on her with his secretary. On their matrimonial bed. On their wedding anniversary. I swear to God, if I ever see this man again, I would…

"Lexi? Earth to Lexi?" I was distracted from my dark thoughts by Jace who was apparently talking to me. I didn't even notice when he got here.

"Huh? What?" I ask him.

"Never mind. Hurry up and eat your food. We're going to be late. Maybe I'll just leave you here." He says with a smirk and instead of rolling my eyes like I usually would, I just sighed and struggled to keep the tears at bay. Did they listen? No. I watch as his face turns from irritated to concerned to worried in a split second as a lone tear falls down my cheek. In less than a second, he's right next to me and asking me questions.

"Lexi? Lexi, are you okay? What's wrong?" he asks frantically. Shit. Another tear threatens to fall but I hold it back and take a tissue from the counter and gently dabs under my eyes to stop the mascara from smudging.

"Huh? What? Me? Oh! I'm fine! Something entered my eye, that's all." I babble and flash him a smile a little too wide for it to be real.

"Don't give me that crap, Lexi? Something's obviously wrong. So tell me what it is! Wait...the only time you get this defensive over a question is when...wait...you're thinking about him, aren't you?" the question is thrown at me with so much venom that I visibly flinch. I hate how he knows me so well.

"Um...no?" I say. It doesn't come out how I want it to. It comes out as a question more than a convincing statement.

"Lexi..." he threatens, his voice low.

"Okay. Ugh, fine. I'm thinking about him, okay? I'm so angry, in fact, I'm fucking livid. I'm angry because he chose that whore over us. I'm angry because he left without a fucking goodbye. I'm angry because of the emotional trauma he's put us through. I'm angry because of what he did to mom. I'm angry because Mom had to work her ass off to pay the fucking bills. I'm angry because the only other parental unit left in our lives drifted away and away until I can't even reach what's left of her anymore. I'm angry because he made us leave our lives behind while he got to live his however the fuck he wanted to. I'm angry because he got the happily ever after that mom didn't even have a chance to get. I'm angry because he made me feel like we were a burden on mom, like we were the reason why she wasn't moving on, why she wasn't happy. I'm angry because I can't even cry anymore, I'm angry because I'm drained, physically and emotionally. I've given him way too much and now I realize that I can never get that time back again. I can't even be angry at him anymore. Instead, I'm angry at you for not letting me cry myself to death during the first few years of denial. I'm angry at mom for shutting us out and burying herself in work. Most of all, I'm angry at myself for letting him break me, for thinking that he would just barge through these doors and carry me on his shoulders and run through the lawn and call me his little princess like he used to, for waiting on the driveway on our for 10 years now, thinking that he'll show up with presents in his hands and tell us that it's was just a prank and tell us that he'll never leave us again, for waiting up every single night for 10 years thinking that he'll come back and be locked out so I can open the door for him but did that ever happen? No. I've lived 10 years of my life without a father figure in my life to know that I'm too exhausted to keep waiting for him, too tired to stay angry at him, too broken and too hurt to the point that I barely feel anything anymore. I've grown numb to the pain and I'm okay with that now. I now know that all the shooting stars and birthday candles have all been a waste. I just wish it could've ended differently. I wish he was still here and mom didn't look like a living corpse and we were all happy. But all that is but a wish, a mere fantasy that cannot be compared to reality. Not even for a second." By the time I finish my rant, I'm out of breath. I look up to Jace who is still frozen to the spot by my outburst. He finally snaps out of it and walks up to me and engulfs me in a tight hug.

"It's okay, Lexi. I'm here for you, mom's here for you, everyone's here for you. There's no need to blame yourself for what he did. He left because he was an asshole. He still is. I'll always be here for you whenever you need me, okay?" I nod and give him a small but genuine smile and he smiles back at me. It's times like this that I appreciate my twin brother. When he left us at first, I was affected the most. Jace didn't really have the best relationship with my father even as a child while I saw him as my hero. As someone who could never do anything wrong. When he left, I was broken and on the verge of depression. I barely ate and didn't even utter a word to anyone. What a wonderful thing to do to a 7-year-old. Note the sarcasm. I usually cried myself to sleep at night and locked myself in my room by day. Jace was always the one to bring a plate of food to me and force me to eat and cheer me up. He was always there for me during the first 5 years. Ever since he left, Jace made it his personal duty to cheer me up whenever I'm down or avert my thoughts from memories of him. And I love him for that.

"That's my twin. My partner-in-crime since birth. So what do you say you go fix your makeup and we go have the best first day of our lives and when we get back, I'll order pizza and we throw darts at his picture, hmm?" he says and I laugh.

"Thank you, Jace. For everything. Then and now." I tell him honestly.

"No problem," he smirks and then adds, "Little sis." I gasp in mock anger.

"Little sis?? We're the same age!!!" I yell at Jace.

"Nope! I'm older with 2 minutes." He says playfully and sticks his tongue out at me.

"Wow! Pull the late delivery card on me!" At this point, we're laughing our heads off, forgetting what happened just mere moments ago.

"Now go fix your makeup. You look like shit." Jace says after calming down.

"Like you look any better." I sarcastically remark.

"Obviously!" he says and flips his imaginary hair over his shoulder in mock diva style. I roll my eyes at him and go fix my makeup. I glance at the time on my phone.

8:20am.

"Shit! Jace, we're going to be late so get your fat ass in the car and drive!" I yell.

"Okay! Okay! Wait…my fat ass? How dare you? I don't have a fat ass. My ass is perfectly sculpted. I'm insulted." Jace whines as he checks out his ass.

"Jace, if you do not get your ass, fat or not, into this car and drive me to school, I will drive myself and you know what happens when I drive." I threaten. But it's absolutely true. There was a reason why I didn't pass my drivers' test. It seems to have done the job because Jace yelps and runs to the car, shrieking 'my baby' as he approaches. After many complaints, eye rolls, threats and sarcastic remarks, we are finally on our way to our new high school in this strange town, Bridgewood High.

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WORD COUNT: 2,730

WRITTEN ON THE 8TH OF AUGUST, 2020 BY 1:10PM (WAT)

A/N:

Who else got emotional during this chapter? I know I did! This is not proofread so feel free to point out any typos. Let me know what you think of the first chapter in the comments. Vote if you liked the first chapter, leave a comment if you thought it was too cringey. Don't forget to follow me on:

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Ily <3

XOXO,

Vida <3