34 The breaking point.
*Argus's Narration*
I don't know what effects Lord Miach's potion had on my wounds, but it sure woke me up.
Woke me up to the blatant slaughter of my heart. And the pain-killers worked like coffee.
Memories of how I felt back at the streets, this siege on my sanity I thought was fading, charged back like a nightmare.
Just as I thought, everything is fine… can be fine. What happened- happened, I can start over. Build things better this time, but no. Maybe I was being delusional once again.
The demons were there, I just wasn't looking their way.
Thinking, if I pretended it's all okay, then at some point, it will be okay. And I still believe it would've been.
But when I took her hand… I saw myself in her dark eyes. How thrilled I was. How broke and desperate I became. It was as though I was standing right in front of a mirror- clear for me to see my reality. And I saw it all just as clearly as she did. I saw my desperation for a chance�� just one last chance- a shot at redemption.
[SAVE IT FOR LATER!] I roared at myself for the nth time as I wiped blur off my eyes, nails digging deep in my palms, jaw clenched, refusing the primal impulse to thrash my arms and legs.
/Calm yourself! You're losing height! /
[Really? couldn't tell… and I being sarcastic!]
I was at least 50 meters above ground with a single-minded desire- a distraction to find Lili.
I learned two things today, both at the same time. Deep in my heart, I seek redemption, no point in denying it now, and the other was this- I call it Blink Propulsion.
A tactic derived from Blink Assault.
· Re-Directive Blink
The world turned bluish-grey to me, freezing everything as I activated Re-Directive Blink except for the blue tornado shinging.
The idea was to use Blink Assault to 'propel' myself into the air at high velocities, emulating the zipping techniques from Attack on Titan.
So I aimed the Exit point at a 45-degree angle, towards our home before initiating Blink Assault, which resulted in me being shot in the aimed direction at the limits of my body's comfort zone.
Basically, I shot myself in the air like a cross-bow bolt using Blink Assault.
Further experiments will be required before I could calculate the exact speed I'm traveling at, the distance I could cover aiming at various angles, and the time needed to get from point A to B.
The trick is to stay off the ground for 5 seconds, and once the invested mana is back, initiate another Blink Assault, or say Blink Propulsion.
But on one condition- aim the follow-up Blink Propulsion at 10-30-degree angle as to not gain unnecessary height.
As for the landing, it must be thought of, and prepared for 2 Blinks ahead, and let the gravity pull me down as I wait for the perfect moment before activating Re-Directive Blink i.e. about 10 meters above ground or the landing spot.
Blink cancels the previous inertia. And landing takes advantage of that fact, allowing safe drops.
It's not completely safe though, any number of dynamic and unpredictable elements and miscalculations can easily end my life. But I don't have the time for walks and Taxies, nor is my body able enough to handle the strain.
High up, I can could at least try and force my body still.
Back then I had no idea about the severity of my wounds while the pain-killers were still in effect. But the moment their magic ended…
It was like; I knew famine and hunger are plaguing the world, and I knew people are dying because of it but, seeing it with my own eyes- feeling it myself will change me… anyone, forever.
Similarly, once I felt my shit without the diaper of pain-killers, I swore- I'm gonna take it easy.
So with another Blink Propulsion, I flung myself into the inky night sky, trying my best to keep my thrashes and cries to the bare minimum as the roaring winds fluttered clothes and eardrums.
The plan was to check our home for Lili and hopefully finding her in the lobby, quietly sipping tea in wait. That'd be the best possible outcome.
But this sinking feeling in my mangled gut…
If she's not there, I'll head back out, and toss every nook and cranny of this gigantic city, and won't stop until the sun comes up.
And what happens when it's dawn?
I storm the Soma Familia, that's what.
But there's no way in hell, I'm hitting the pillow without seeing her okay.
And so with another Blink Propulsion, I hurl myself higher, praying nothing has happened, and I'm just overthinking it, like always.
The previous Blink was the last straw, I could see the brightly lit inn getting bigger as each second passed by while my speed decreased, so did the height.
And just when I was 10 meters away from certain death, I activated Re-Directive Blink before a stumbling, but safe landing.
The pounding loop of [She's here- She's here- She��s here] overwhelmed my senses as I Blinked at the doors and flung them open before sprinting towards the man behind the reception counter.
"Hey, Jemie, is Lili here?" I blurted as I ran.
"Ah! There you are! She's upstairs," He replied, still shaken by the storm of my steps.
"Oh god! Thanks!" I then shot upstairs without another glance, thanking him and my luck, enduring the screaming urge to Blink my way there.
"Wai! Argus, did something happen?"
"Get to the point!"
"She came back on a wheelchair, man." He said, and my world spun.
The color drained from my face as I sprinted up, and… there she was.
Sitting on a wheelchair, a hand bandaged thickly, gaze empty, knocking at my door.
Bleak and lost.
"LILI!" I cried horrified as I Blinked at her side, hands trembling to touch her, but she pulled away, "What happened? Who did this?"
A torrent of chaos erupted in her eyes the moment her gaze met mine. Nails digging deep in the armrest.
"I see you're here," her voice was a whisper, "Did you take pain-killers?"
"Irrelevant!" My eyes flared wide. She's in a wheelchair and she's asking me if I took pain-killers?
"What happened to you, Lili? Are you still in pain?"
"Irrelevant," she scoffed. Taking her eyes off me, she turned her chair around, "We'll talk in the morning, Master Argus. Now that you're here and not in any… pain, please go to sleep. Your wounds needs a lot of rest," She softly spoke, twisting the key in the lock.
While my whole body shook as though lightning pierced through it.
[Go to sleep?]
-Click
The click unlocking the door jolted me out like a slap.
"How can I go to sleep after seeing you like this? Who did this?" I blubbered, following her in.
Even with the chair hiding most of her frame, I could still make out the trembling shoulders, hear the suppressing deep breaths.
"Lili…"
"Who do you think?" her voice quivered.
"God damn it! How did this happen?" My feet sprinted to her, revealing a misty gaze, glaring at me in a way I never dreamt of.
"You wanna know so badly?" she growled as her body shuddered, scrunched in hatred, "Soma Familia found me, and hunted me down like an animal while you ran off! Zanis tortured me with burning metal!… They shot arrows and stones at me! Broke my wrist and ribs! Laughed at my face as I screamed your name over and over and over, but you never came! Why? Tell me, huh? Why did you not come? You should've! You were supposed to! I feel so stupid to have bought your crap! I feel like an idiot for relying on you! You! You're worthless! A LAIR!"
"Lili…" My body flinched ahead as I hugged her trembling frame, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
"Why weren't you there when I needed you? You're the only person I thought will be there… always!… Then why? I was so scared! So scared… So alone," She broke down, shivering, hitting my tear-soaked chest as she let the monsters out.
Sorry… merely sorry was all that came out. Forgive me I wasn't there when they tortured you? Burned you? Threw rocks at you? Is she supposed to forgive me, just coz I said sorry? Should she? Would I have? Would it change anything?
Hugging her tighter, I clutched my hair in a final shred of resistance against this overwhelming insanity eating me alive.
Each hit of her hand was although soft, it hit a hammer.
Each sob, each wail was a resounding slap… a reminder, how I failed yet again. Maybe she would've been better off if I never existed if I never came seeking shelter. At least no one would've tortured her. And she would've found him, instead.
Soon, her cries became sobs, and then deep-even breaths.
Her tear-stained eyes closed, clutched to my shirt she shivered even in her sleep, ripping apart the final shred of sanity into bits.
And I swore, "After tonight… either the Soma Familia will exist or I!"
