15 Rabbithole of ridiculousness

Stepping inside the house I took a quick glance around, swiftly taking stock of my new environment. One big living room, a kitchen next to it, five windows and a door that led to the back of the bungalow.

In the back of the living room was another group of men and women, who seemingly had been snoring away just a couple minutes ago, but now seemed to be a little on edge for some reason. May have to do with my sudden entrance, but whatever.

"Oi! Stop ignoring me, you lanky bastard!" The Tanuki raged behind me, and one glance back had me nearly cracking up once again.

Despite being pretty damn mad, said Tanuki seemed to be unsure if he should continue to be angry or instead dissolve into one happy wiggling mess, curtesy of the munchkin smothering the equally small Tanuki in between her deceptively strong yet small arms like she would probably do to a teddy bear.

At the Tanuki's words however the rest of the room seemed to finally completely awaken from their half-asleep state and were now both curiously and warily watching me standing there in the entrance, all the while getting cussed out by the stuffed animal behind me that tried and failed to escape the munchkin's way too grabby paws.

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" I was asked and after turning back around I came face to face with a man that had blond hair and was trying to light himself a cigarette while waiting for my answer. Nice eyebrows by the way, hehehe…

"Yo. My amphibian friend over there" I pointed over my shoulder at that, to which the frog popped his head into the doorframe and waved in introduction at them "said there was a doctor here. He 'said' his friend here needed someone to look at him." I finished after which I threw the boy draped over my shoulder into the blond man's arms, who had his eyes widen for a fraction of a second before the whole weight of the boy smacked him right into the chest, toppling him over all the while.

Nodding once at finally being done with that mess I made to turn around when some woman with orange hair cried out a name in surprise I guessed was either belonging to the man or the boy I had just thrown at him. Go figure, seems they might even know the guy.

"Usopp?! Oh my god! What happened to you?!" Bustling over towards the still out of it boy, I first thought she may go for the downed man that had been hit by my human missile, but her kicking said man out of the way without a second of hesitation had me discard that theory.

"Oy Chopper! Come over here, quickly!" The same redhead called over and I heard the struggling behind me intensify, before the Tanuki, with a mighty cry of motivation, managed to escape the munchkin's smothering and swiftly rushed over to the downed boy.

"What's wrong with him?" the redhead continued while my mouth twitched in amusement at the dead tired and ruffled appearance of the Tanuki, who glanced once back at the munchkin with both horror and desire to go back. Go figure…

Snapping back into the present the Tanuki, now known to me as Chopper, pulled a stethoscope from somewhere and began to examine the boy in detail. It seemed the Tanuki had been the doctor all along. Now, would you look at that. Atta boy!

"It seems he passed out from pain, though I don't know the origin of said pain yet. Zoro, Sanji! Please bring Usopp to the bed so I can examine him closer!" Chopper spoke with an authority in his voice I hadn't expected the small guy to possess.

Under some grumbling and muttered protests, both Sanji and Zoro, the blond dude and another man with green hair sitting in the back of the room stood up and grabbed the boy called Usopp under the arms and hurled him into the next room, accompanied by Chopper who kept scalding them for being too rough with his patient.

Once the three of them had disappeared into the next room, silence fell upon the living room, which had the unfortunate side effect that all eyes came to rest back on me.

"And? Who are you?" The redhead thusly asked me, seemingly both annoyed and on edge from something, which may or may not be me.

"Oi oi oi, no need to rip me a new one. I'm not here because I want to be, so lay off me, will ya red?" I responded while the lollipop inside my mouth clicked softly against my teeth once I began to speak.

At my words, the redhead seemed to flare up somewhat fierce however, that was until she spotted the munchkin, who chose that moment to stand next to me and look curiously at all the people remaining in the room.

Immediately all the fire that had begun to flare in the redhead's eyes died down and became two stars instead, obviously unprepared to resist the undefeated cuteness that was the munchkin.

"Oh my god, look at you!" I swear, if the munchkin managed to weaponize herself she could topple the whole world in days… or at least the female part of it. Clearly shown by the smothering hug the redhead enveloped the munchkin in, which did something pretty nice to her bazongas, so it wasn't something I regretted having to witness. Nicccce.

"fufufu, I think you should be a little more careful Nami-san. The little girl seems to have difficulties breathing." Another smooth voice interjected, which came from a black-haired woman that sat in another corner of the living room with a book on her legs and a steaming cup of tea sitting next to her on the table.

As I was now no longer the focus of the conversation, I chose that moment to slip back out of the room and joined the frog on the outside, who seemed to grin at me for some reason. That look he gave me made an unconcious urge to cut him a new one rise inside of me, but I managed to supress it in time. You don't know your own luck buddy…

"Mmhhmm!" The munchkin made to speak, which finally made the redhead realize that she was still crushing the munchkin between her damn fine tatas, and thus let her back down onto her own two feet. She came rushing straight back to my side and hid behind my back. Heh, would you look at that. A woman scarier than a professional killer. Never seen that before…

At that sight the redhead, Nami I now knew she was called, pouted a little before she directed her attention back to me. I couldn't help but click my tongue a little at that. Should probably just get out of here.

"So? You still haven't answered my question! Who are you? And what is a ruffian like you doing with an adorable little girl like that?!" the redhead repeated while I glanced back at the munchkin before replying.

"Ruffian? Heh, never been called that before. But whatever. Today seems to be the day of unending surprises anyway." At my words the black-haired woman in the corner giggled a little.

However, before I could continue, the munchkin barged into our conversation, very unlike her as far as I could tell. Being a little introverted and all that.

"Hey! Don't call Mr. Mime a ruffian! He is nice, you know?!" The munchkin ranted while pointing accusingly at the redhead, who seemed to be taken aback a little at her words, before glancing back at me.

Patting the munchkin on the head a couple times to calm her down and show her I wasn't offended by the redhead's words, she seemed to calm down a little, though still turned away with a small huff while crossing her arms over her chest as if she had been given the ultimate insult or something. Adorable…

"You can call me Daz. Now, is that all you wanted to know? I really could use a nice and soft pillow by now." I said after a short while of silence in which the redhead seemed to recover her composure a little at that small scolding she had received.

"Daz? Hmm, I think I've heard that name somewhere before. Are you perhaps working here in water 7 somewhere?" The redhead mused and I simply shrugged my shoulders in response.

Book of lying for beginners: If you say nothing but do something like shrug your shoulders or incline your head to one side instead, your conversation partner will usually interpret your action as an answer that mostly confirms what they had believed from the start or a form of agreement in one form or the other without coming any closer to the truth all the while.

Thus, the topic was dropped promptly, with only the black-haired woman glancing at me from time to time with speculation gleaming in her black orbs. A smart one that one, but it doesn't really matter in the end.

However, before I could leave in peace and finally find myself a nice bed to crash in, my ears picked up the sounds of many boots trampling upon stone, which turned out to be a regiment of Marines that swiftly formed a tightly knit ring around the house I was sitting in front of. And the best thing about the whole situation? I was out of lollipops to enjoy the upcoming show with!

Joy, this day was getting better and better.

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