"If you stay positive in a negative situation you win"

"Losing you comes in waves, today I'm drowning"!

Drowning in my own tears, in my own pain. Everyone thinks I have gone crazy.

Saying:

- he doesn't even know you.!

I know maybe he didn't know me, I was just one of his fans who were behind him through this journey he had!

When my best friend came to see me and told me in an easy way about his death, that moment I was all out, I didn't believe my ears, I didn't believe her, but it was true he was killed by a boy. A teenager!

When she told me that, I took my phone searching for him like crazy!

News:

" the bestseller author Dior Palmer was found dead in his house"

No, no please. I started to cry like crazy, please tell me this is not true..!

This moment was like I was drowning deep in the ocean.!

I know I look like one of these crazy fans who wants attention but is not like that, I don't want attention, I just want this to be a bad dream, he to be alive..!

I know him from his first step like a writer. I was the first fan who admired him before he becomes famous, I admired his personality without even knowing him, just by looking at him.

I meet him first in a park when he was writing something, then he through that letter away after he walked away I took the letter, I was mesmerized about that part he wrote, that part made me so emotional, I thought ugh this little part made me this emotional who knows how a whole book will be when he will finish.!

I was then in the first year in high school" International high school of Paris-Cortambert".

At that time I liked to stay more alone or I thought like that because I had no friends.

One day I meet him again at "Tuileries Garden" I used to go often there because has a beautiful view, is located between the " Louvre" and the "Place da la Concorde"

Maybe that was my miracle, that I met him there, now I had and another reason to go there, it was him, the letter I took when he through away there I saw his name "Dior".

I was 15 years old when he was 21 years old.

One day I went after him to see where he will go, I know a look like a stalker but that boy changed something at me but I don't know what!!

He works at a coffee " the caféthequeé of Paris"

I wanted to meet him from close but I never had the courage to go inside.

Through the years, he worked hard and become what he deserved to be.

His first book was " The war and peace in my soul" you know what?!

That part he throw away is now in this book he wrote years ago before he debuted like a writer.

He becomes the bestseller he started to write like crazy, and his time to shine came. I feel like a proud mother!

He was the one who dragged me out from the darkness I was drowning and drowning day by day, I grow up with his books.

He was the first love that I never went inside to that coffee or to the park to talk to him years ago when I had the opportunity. But it is okay I was living with the idea that I can be with him one day, but now that opportunity is gone.

Thinking about those memories made me cry more and more.

If I ever had a chance to save him, I would give everything that he can be alive today!

A "psycho" killed him and himself. Dior had another big book that he wrote "euphoria" he really becomes more famous with this one, he went on a tour in Europe and America too.

Before killing Dior he wrote a letter where he said :

" I killed him because he didn't accept that book was for me, everything he wrote in the book was a message to me that I can do in real life but now he refused and said he didn't know me so I'm taking him with me"!!

He was just crazy how can someone take for real a fiction story, is just a fiction you piece of sh**t. The book was a boy who had some strength saving the world and killed people who were the bad ones, so this idiot did the same in real life.

Next day!

I woke up with my eyes all red and puffy, my head hurts so much but my heart hurts more.

Ameli. Wake up!!

Ah I want to die!!

What's going one here, what is this mess in this room?

Don't tell me that you cried again reading that book?

How I'm supposed to live now mom?

What are you talking about, It is the hundredth time you read that one, and you will cry every time?!!

Mom what are you talking you know how much I love him!! I want to disappear!!

I know, I know. It would be better if I never know that!

Moom!! how can you not be ashamed, he died at a young age!!

Is just a book why should I be ashamed, he will write another one again. Wake up or you will be late on your first day of senior year. She went outside!!

Wait, what?

What senior, I was... What book you were talking about!

The one that boy died who you were crying how it was the name... Oh yes " gone with the wind".

But that was last year!

Did you had a nightmare or what?! You have been reading this book for about one month, didn't he published that book a month ago?!

A month ago?

I went to my room searching for the last book "Euphoria" but it wasn't in my room.

Where is the book?

Ameli are you still in your dreams or what!

Here is your book take it.. my brother threw it in my direction.

No, no I mean the old one!!

Has she gone, crazy mom?!

I took my phone and searched for his last book and my mom was right is the "gone with the wind" the last book.

What's going on?!

Oh my darling, Ethan, I don't know what to do with her anymore.!

Should I find her a boyfriend?!

Haha that sounds good!

Are you coming or I will go, we will be late!

Which year we are?

What? Ameli you are making me angry with all those stupid questions, come to yourself don't play with us!

Mom answers me please?? Which year we are?!

Oh omg I will be the one who will go crazy in the end! We are at 2020, is September the last year of high school, that means you are in a senior year! Alright, do you have another question?

No, I'm going crazy noo!

Yes you are. I'm going to work, eat something before going to school!

I called my best friend Sophia!

Morning Ameli.

Hi Sofi!

Where you are, are you not coming to school. Oh don't tell me you will skip first classes to go to see Dior, right?

Wait, where he will be?

He has an interview today at coffee " La Fouguets" he will announce the title of the new book and also will meet fans. Wait you don't know about this, what " Palmero" you are. "Palmero" was our fandom name because he was "Dior Palmer".

I need to go see you later.

I started to run until the coffee, my apartment is not that away, it is like in the center where everything is close to your place. But it took me 30 minutes because my whole body was shaking, I don't know and how I arrived there, just wishing that this is true, that he is alive.

He was there smiling, shining like a star!

He looks so handsome. But here are so many people are so crowded, I tried my best push everyone to go to the front.

Today he was wearing a different style, like in the old times, a white shirt, gray pants and also suspenders, a pair of glasses, his hair ugh one said was raised up while the other side was down where it covered his forehead and a little his eye. While he was talking, I was that quiet and relaxed that I forgot everything. This old-style is killing all of us and show his charm in the best way.

I still can't believe that he is alive when yesterday he was all over the news for his death. Or maybe I had a dream, a nightmare and none of them happened.

While we were listening to the interview.

The interview girl asked:

Do you have women in your life or someone you have a crush?

Ohh everyone was waiting for his answer that he will give!

At that moment I don't know how but he looked at me. He can't remember me even he had seen me many times in the past!

No, I don't have someone in my life!

Then can you describe your type of woman you want to meet?

While he talks his eyes are one me..! I feel like a will have a heart attack.

Hmm someone smart, I would like to meet someone who I can write a story with her" our story".

Girls behind me started to scream. "Im here", "what about me", "me too".

He was just staring at me as he knows me and I was looking at him all confused then the interview brings us to reality.

What about the title of the new book?

To tell the truth I'm not sure if I should write it now or I should rest and a little more but I have one in my mind Is "Euphoria" I think will be good for a new book, but I will see!!

Today I feel strange like I have reborn and I want to write without stopping or I have become a workaholic? Haha!

That moment stopped for me!! But it was a dream, right?!

The title can't be a coincidence like the same I had In the dream!!

I was just looking at him, in a strange way!

Alright Mr. Dior

Fans are waiting for an autograph, have a nice day, thank you for coming!

Thank you for having me. Goodbye!

How I will tell him, what I will do? No one will believe me! I can't believe myself how others will believe this crazy thing!??

It was my turn for an autograph, I took my book out.

Hi..is all I said!

Hey.

He looks so happy, but I'm torn, my heart is broken in million pieces, I was so happy seeing him alive but now I'm torn knowing he will be dead a year later!

Why are you so sad?

Oh no I'm so happy seeing you after a long time from the tour!

Have I met you before?

Uh actually...!

I'm sorry, his secretary came. Said something to him in the ear.

I'm so sorry guys but can we do it this another time I really need to go something urgent came, I promise I will do this one again to meet you all who I'm leaving today.

Thank you for coming, I love you all of you.

Bye!

Others started to scream and go behind him, while I was looking at him thinking what's going one is this a joke?

I was at the ground.

I can't breathe!!

Dior, no please!

Who is playing with me, please stop, I can't handle this.

Then I fainted!!

She fainted, is she alone??

Take that girl!

What do you mean to take that girl?

I think I now that girl when she came to take autograph she looked so sad, her eyes tried to say something to me. Take her!!