13 lifeless soul

A few months had passed since I broke up with Samar. All my friends they were literally forcing Samar and me to tell what happened between us...of course they didn't know we were in a relationship.. Samar didn't want anyone to know about us. I trusted him completely so I never asked him. I thought he might have some reason behind it. but since we were not talking to each other they became suspicious. They even tried convincing me to speak with him....for the sake of my friends,i started talking to him..I know anyone in my place wouldn't have done the same.. but my friends i didn't want them to get affected due to our personal problems.. it's always like that,whenever there is a fight between two people in the group,the whole group goes down and I definitely didn't want that. so for them I started talking to him, but whenever i saw his face it just reminded me of all the NONSENSE that he had spoken that day.. after my break up I actually became a lifeless soul...it was like someone had taken the life out of me. my state was pathetic. And the most irritating part was that I couldn't share my pain with anyone...I felt so helpless. Even in school I wasn't able to concentrate on my studies because I was physically present but mentally absent. My mind was keep on asking me questions.

"why did Samar cheat me?" , "didn't he ever love me?" ,"did I not satisfy him?" , all these questions didn't let me concentrate on anything I do. I was completely devatated. my heart was broken into million pieces and no matter how much I try to come out of it but I couldn't....my heart was not ready to accept the fact that the love of my life cheated me...I was slowly drowning to depression.... my state was unexplainable..then one day suddenly out of nowhere Samar called me..his name that once made me happy had now become the reason of my awful state.. when I saw his name I was enraged with anger,i immediately cut his call but he again and again kept calling me,i got frustrated and I picked up the call and screamed at him "what do you want now?!!!" he replied in a calm way "I just want to talk to you Pooja it's been a long time can we please talk for sometime please I know whatever happened between us after that i don't deserve to ask you but can you please come, i don't want you to be my girlfriend again or forgive me just give me another chance please I ask just one chance we'll be friends again at least please" at that I was still in love with him so I thought maybe he realised his mistake, though what he did was wrong I still had a soft spot for him... yeah this was another mistake I made that's why they say "love is blind" yess I was blind in his love all I could see at that time was he was regretful of what he did so I decided to give him a chance.