Comedic Interlude

Fantasma/Fantasma

Fantasma lifted a dress off of her bed and gazed at it for a long moment. Hm. It wasn't one she'd worn before. But since this was her first night in New York City proper, it did feel like a good night to try something new.

She put the black dress on and looked at herself in the mirror. Perfect.

Just then, a knock came at the door. The Russian woman frowned. It was a little early, but maybe they'd wanted to get a head start?

She left her bedroom and walked toward her door, forcibly ignoring the library on her way, where the Harry Potter memorabilia had been replaced with Dresden Files novels and a wooden staff. Apparently Tony Stark wasn't one to give up.

When she opened the door, she was surprised to see Mikhail standing there.

"Oh, good evening, Mikhail," she said while cocking her head in confusion.

"Fantasma," he said with a proud smile. He was holding a large bottle in his hand and displayed it to her. "I thought we could celebrate your new team with a drink?" he said warmly. Then the part-time bear frowned at her, looking her up and down. Fantasma had already put on her makeup, worn some simple hoop earrings, and brushed her hair back, which, along with her elegant dress, gave Mikhail the correct impression.

"Oh, are you going somewhere?" he asked, confused.

"Y-Yes," Fantasma smiled up at him, reaching down toward her high heels on the floor next to the door and putting them on while she talked. "I have been invited for a girls night out! It is quite exciting!" she couldn't contain her glee. "I've never done such a thing before!"

"A… girl's night out?" Mikhail asked in confusion.

"Hey, Fantasma!" Mikhail turned at the voice that had spoken down the hall. Isabelle Hartley, the Avenger known as Warrior, was walking toward them, wearing a pair of blue jeans, a light blue blouse, and carrying a small purse in her right hand. She was made up as well, and had a strangely ornate bracer on her right arm that went from her wrist to the middle of her forearm. Isabelle gave Mikhail an odd look.

"Oh, bear guy. What's up?"

"B-Bear guy?" Mikhail sputtered. Fantasma hid a smile at her father figures confusion. "I was uh, visiting Fantasma."

"Oh, that's nice," Isabelle smiled, then noticed the bottle in Mikhail's hand. "Oh hey, you brought vodka?"

"Y-Yes, I-" Mikhail was interrupted when Isabelle snatched the bottle out of his hands.

"Cheers!" Isabelle snapped the cap off the bottle, then lifted it to her lips.

"...Wow," Mikhail said in shock as Isabelle continued to drink. After a long moment, Isabelle finished chugging and passed the bottle back to Mikhail. He lifted to bottle to eye level to prove to himself that, yes, Isabelle had somehow finished off the entirety of it in moments. "... that was expensive."

"Not bad for a party starter!" Isabelle said. "Fantasma, you ready?"

"Yes!" Fantasma grabbed a purse of her own, closed the door to her room, and gave Mikhail a wave as she wrapped arms with Isabelle. "Goodbye Mikhail! See you tomorrow!"

"G-Goodbye?" Mikhail said questioningly.

Isabelle and Fantasma went off laughing together as Mikhail watched, a complicated look on his face.

The pair walked down the halls together as Isabelle spoke. "So, excited?"

"Yes! Where are we going?" Fantasma asked.

"Well, there's a club Jen wanted to check out," Isabelle said with a shrug. "But after that, who knows? Maybe we'll end up getting in a fight with someone!"

Fantasma gave Isabelle a confused look. "Are… you hoping for that, Isabelle?"

"You know how long it's been since I punched someone?" Isabelle gave Fantasma a smile. "And call me Izzy, okay?"

Fantasma smiled widely.

They entered the garage to see Natasha and Jennifer waiting there. Nat was wearing a white blouse and a black skirt, while Jennifer had her hair pulled up into a ponytail and a while dress, still in her green Hulk form. In fact, Fantasma had never seen Jennifer in any sort of human form, strangely enough.

"Hey guys!" Jennifer waved at them cheerily, Nat turning to smile at them. "You're early!"

"So are you," Isabelle said with a chuckle. "Bobbi here?"

"She's getting the others," Nat said with an elegant smile. Fantasma blushed a bit at the sight of it. Natasha was so…elegant.

"Who else is coming?" Fantasma asked quickly.

Jennifer answered. "We invited the Grapplers," when Fantasma looked confused, she explaned. "They're some former wrestlers from another team. They're busy, but Wanda can come thankfully. Simmons asked to come along, which is so adorable. Then there's Bobbi, and also-"

She was cut off by a convertible squealing into the garage. It sped toward them at high speed before drifting around to stop in front of the group.

"That was unbelievably reckless!" a British accented voice shouted.

Fantasma watched with her head cocked to the side as Simmons climbed out of the red convertible in a black shirt and blue jeans, looking very panicked. "I didn't even know a car coulddosome of those things!"

"Is that a compliment?" Bobbi asked with a chuckle. The tall woman, second only to Jen in height, stepped out of the car as well, wearing a black leather jacket and pants. She flipped her hair as she left and gave Simmons a smile.

"No, it was me asking if you're insane!" Simmons rested her hands on her knees.

"Didn't you fall out of a crashing plane recently?" Jen asked as Simmons hyperventilated.

"Yes, you weren't as panicked then," Fantasma said with mild surprise.

"It wasn't as bad as that! Why are you fine?" Simmons asked the final passenger, who Fantasma recognized as the Scarlet Witch. Someone she'd admittedly beenverycurious about meeting.

Wanda stepped out of the car with a shy smile at the group. She was wearing a red dress and black jacket, and moved to pat Simmons on the back. "Well, it was not as bad as what Pietro puts me through when he picks me up. It is close."

"What does it say that her baseline is that high?" Jen asked rhetorically.

"Hey, so, do we have a car ready?" Bobbi asked. "Mine is too small?"

In answer, Natasha nodded toward the entrance. A long limo rolled into the garage. "I figured we'd want to make the most of our little adventure, so we have a driver for the rest of the night."

"Nice!" Jen cheered, looking over Nat, Bobbi, and Isabelle (Izzy, she'd said she wanted to be called Izzy). "You super-spies going to be able to let your hair down tonight, party with the rest of us?" as she spoke, she pulled Simmons into a one armed hug, getting a surprised squeak out of the British scientist.

Isabelle smirked. "Man, give the girl a green tan and she suddenly thinks she's a party animal."

"Hey, can't blame me. I mean, I'm pretty sure I have moretalentthan the rest of you," She-Hulk said while thrusting her chest out.

"All right, Sailor Jupiter, tone it back," Natasha said with an eye roll. "Everybody in, let's go cause some trouble!"

Fantasma looked up from a concrete floor the next day to look up at the Ex-Director of SHIELD, Nicholas Fury. He was looking the group over through the cell bars, wearing a long coat and a scowl.

"Ladies," Fury growled after a long moment. "I've currently got your teammates asking a lot of questions, so I'm going to need answers before they break down the walls and bust you out. Let's start with She-Hulk… What happened to that building, and why were you on fire?"

Jen looked up at him. Her face was covered in soot, and her clothes had burned off long ago, which was why she was wearing a sweatshirt and gym shorts. She grinned. "Well, when we got to the club, I found some guy offering cocaine to people. Well, Nat did."

"I thought they found traces of meth in the building," Fury said.

"Well yeah, but that was a later thing," Jen explained.

"It was after the music concert," Fantasma said helpfully, only to wince at the look Fury gave her.

"Yes, the DJ has decided not to press charges, since apparently you and Wanda ended up making quite an interesting light show. Says he got enough tips to set him up for a month," Fury said.

Wanda and Fantasma shared a smile.

"And the reason for the light show was that you decided to take out the biker gang that had followed you to the concert?" Fantasma and Wanda winced. Fury looked over at Bobbi and Isabelle. Izzy had a new haircut now, the side of her head tied into dreads to give her a very tough look. "And that part in Harlem?"

Someone coughed. They all looked at the woman in question.

Jessica Jones was wearing a tank-top and blue jeans. She smirked at Fury. "Yeah, that was me. I got into a drinking contest with her," she nodded toward Jen, who chuckled.

"You decided to get into a drinking contest with aHulk!?" Fury somehow sounded both incredulous and intimidating all at once.

"She won, too," She-Hulk giggled.

"Which is crazy," Izzy shook her head. "That was when those guys came in to shake down the owner."

"Yes, I saw," Fury looked over at Nat. "So was that when you-"

"Hey, they weren't using the car," Nat grinned. The redhead was somehow just as impeccable as she'd been at the beginning of the night. "So we took it for a ride."

"And that's when you crashed into the Dairy Queen," Fury rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Nope!" Bobbi said cheerily. "Actually, that was because of the boat."

"What?" Fury said.

"The boat that the biker gang had. Someone turn off the lights, please?" Simmons, the only one of them fighting a hangover, said with a grimace.

"I just-" Fury sighed. "Okay, and that was when Jennifer ended up on fire?"

"Well, no. I only lit on fire after Wanda-"

"I didn't do it!" Wanda scowled at Jen. "Natasha threw the grenade!"

"Technically that's true," Natasha said calmly. "But Jessica is the one who threw the guy through the window."

Jessica grinned.

"And the reason why police picked you up at that Barber Shop?" Fury asked.

"Jessica said we could rest at Pop's after we left the Dairy Queen," Bobbi explained.

"And he did my hair!" Izzy said cheerily, pointing at the side of her head. "I think I might keep it like this, if I'm honest."

"...Okay, well, at least I don't have to deal with you for the moment," Fury said with a wave toward Jessica.

"Yeah, fuck you too," Jessica said with a shrug.

Fantasma and Simmons squeaked in shock, while Fury rolled his… eye.

"Okay, we're going to have to go over it later then. Maria has managed to convince everyone that instead of a 'drunken rampage', it was instead you lunatics somehow on a mission to take out gang members on orders."

"But that is what we did?" Simmons mumbled.

"Okay, you're in the most amount of trouble here, so I'm going to need you to stop," Fury gave Simmons a disapproving look. "I know for a fact that you're the reason I have so many people knocked out by ICER's to deal with, and the meth lab exploding wouldn't have been half as bad without you to help it along."

"You can't exactly blame her," Natasha said as blandly as she could. "We were all fighting meth dealers and their guards and she wanted to help."

"She made explosives out of-" Fury sighed. "Okay, fine. Did you idiots have fun at least?"

Fantasma tried to hold it back, but she started giggling. Jen joined in, followed by Izzy, Bobbi, and Wanda. Simmons moaned, still hungover, while Jessica and Natasha smirked.

Fury shook his head. "Well, what about Sif? Wasn't she supposed to be going with you?"

Jen stopped giggling, frowning a bit. "Huh… Where is Sif?"

"Forward!"Sif, the Goddess of War, yelled as she held her sword out before her, the ocean spray hitting her face with refreshing chill. She stood on the bow of a white yacht, dressed in pale blue robes and silver armor, a wide smile on her face.

"Why are we following that lady!?" A man shouted over the storm echoing around them. He was wearing a poncho over an expensive looking suit, and was watching Sif as she cheered over the echoing rain above.

"She said she knew where treasure was!" another man shouted. "She was very convincing!"

Two hours ago, Sif had taken over the yacht from the tourists who had chartered it. Since then, she'd worked the group of spoiled rich Scandinavians, who looked positively exhausted by that point, to travel to a seemingly random spot in the middle of the ocean.

"Onward, gentlemen! The ship is just ahead!" Sif cheered, breathing in the fresh air. Warmth filled he when the scent of ozone in the distance filled her nose. A familiar smell, one she connected with a certain blonde. She brushed the thought aside to focus in front of her. Soon, the battle would begin!

If only she could figure out why she felt like she was forgetting something…

Nicholas J. Fury

Fury scowled at the group. Wanda, Fantasma, and Simmons looked back at him with varying levels of contrite. Jen didn't seem to care what he thought of her, but then, it was tough to intimidate her. Jessica Jones, much like She-Hulk, didn't seem to care what he thought, though she looked as if she was also moments from flipping him off. Natasha, Bobbi, and Izzy didn't surprise him when they showed not the slightest bit of guilt, though they did give a respectful nod. Well, Natasha and Bobbi did.

That was the problem of no longer being director. Sure, he could do even more now in the shadows, but he didn't have anywhere near the amount of authority he'd once had.

Natasha did give him a small nod and a slight smile. "Sorry. We just wanted a night out. Didn't expect all that mess."

Fair enough. Fury shook his head and simply walked toward the doors that led out to the main precinct. On exiting, he couldn't help but smile at the cacophony of sound that surrounded him. Dozens of criminals were being booked, shouting and complaining to the officers currently putting them away. Many were bruised and covered in scratches, a few were handcuffed together, and ninety percent of the police officers in the room were being yelled at by the group of meth dealers, gangsters, and one unlucky purse snatcher who had tried to rob Fantasma and Jen.

The last was shaking silently in his chair. Apparently the combination green superhuman and violet witch had been too much for him.

Fury walked up to the police captain, a man who was looking at his precinct with impressive stoicism. If one ignored the clenched fists and the slight twitch in his eye.

"Captain," Fury said with a raised eyebrow. "Am I free to go with my agents?"

"Considering everything they've done?" the captain scoffed. "Since SHIELD-"

"BRIDGE," Fury reminded the man.

The captain rolled his eyes. "Fine. SinceBRIDGEis giving us these guys, I'm pretty sure a lot of my detectives are about to get some commendations for all the arrests that are about to follow. So yes, you can take them, even though we both know it's bullshit that they were sent on a mission wearing nothing but dresses and high heels."

Fury looked over at the captain. The captain looked back at him.

"...S-Sir," the captain stuttered, his face visibly paling as he finally seemed to realize just who he was being so flippant with.

A muscle in Fury's neck twitched just a bit. The captain acted like a gun had been fired. "I-I'll just get those ladies out of lockup, shall I?"

Fury nodded.

The captain spun on his heel and left as fast as he could without actually going into a full on sprint, feeling as though Fury's single eye was burning a hole in the back of his head.

Fury, meanwhile, kept his chuckle internal.

Still got it.