11 Let's get even then

"Tell us what happened" Mia said wiping tears away from her face and I'm really happy they've all calmed down.

"Nothing happened" I said trying to avoid the question with an innocent face

"Firstly that innocent face of yours is fake and Olivia, we are your friends, we know you more than you give us credit for and you clearly wouldn't be like this is something didn't happen so just spill already" Natie said also wiping her face off tears.

I know they know me well, I just can't tell them I'm like this because of a guy, because he told me he loved his girlfriend, since even to me it sounds so stupid... which is why I'm angry at myself... I shouldn't be like this for a guy should I?

"See, you just spaced out again, this is killing me real bad if you don't know" Ryan said showing that she is annoyed.

After giving it some thoughts, I decided to just spill, it wouldn't be too bad to open up to my friends right? They are meant to understand me and I'm sure they would

"Okay, okay" I said preparing myself for the emotions I'm going to spill out

"It was Adrian" I started

"I'm sorry, Adrian who?" Mia questioned and I immediately recall that they all know him as Arden

"Oww, I'm sorry" I said trying to think of how to tell them without confusing them and myself at the same time

"You guys know the Arden guys we confronted the other day?" I asked and they all nodded "well apparently, we attacked the wrong guy..." I paused, feeling embarrassed when I remembered how I got to know

"Wait a second, I don't get you" Natie said

"Are you saying A is Adrian and not Arden?" she said her eyes almost coming out of their sockets.

It's evident they are all shocked by the news and I'm sure some of them are as embarrassed as I am, maybe even more

"So what you are saying now is that I kicked the wrong balls" Ryan said almost turning red and I'm not sure if it's out of anger or embarrassment and I don't even want to know

"But you said it was him, you said you were damn sure!" Natie said making me feel even more embarrassed than I was

"I know okay!" I said blushing crimson "I was shocked as well but then the fact that we attacked the wrong guy wouldn't change so should I continue talking or stop there?" I said regaining my resolve

"Just continue" they said simultaneously but then I know they are still either embarrassed or angry or even both

"So I know after finding out that we attacked the wrong guy I should have made my exit then, I should have acted according to our plan but the truth is I don't know what was wrong with me that day, all I know is that I was just so out of it... I let him into my resolve, he kissed me and I felt so happy, so alive and I wanted more, it was euphoric and loving, like I was in another place... I can't even place the feelings I felt that day, I felt like I could do anything I want with him and not regret anything since I was staring at the most beautiful face ever. It just felt so heavenly that I knew that at that moment, I had lost myself" I said recalling everything I felt that day and still loving every bit of it

"Firstly... what the fuck! That was intense!" Mia said covering her face

"Secondly, the most beautiful face ever, bitch what about mine!" Natie whined and I felt embarrassed - I've been feeling like that alot lately and I can say that I'm still not used to that feeling - I can't believe I said such a thing

"Thirdly, please don't tell me you are in love" Ryan said with a horrific face

""No!" I screamed.. even if I am, I'm so not admitting to that - don't get me wrong, I'm not in love

''Okay then, so how did that 'second heaven' become the asshole who caused all this?" she asked

"He said he still loves his girlfriend"

"And so?" Mia asked

"And he thought that I don't give a damn as long as it's sex" I said as if I just stated the obvious

"And isn't he right?" Natie asked showing that she is clearly confused ant at the same time making me feel like I'm making a big deal over something unreasonable.

"But it's not! I thought things were different between us, you guys know I don't do guys who are into other girls!" I exclaimed

"Hmm... thinking about it, yeah you don't but then this is not how you deal with those guys, you rarely care about such things, you just push them away and that's all" Mia stated her point and I reasoned with her... is she right?

"To me, it looks like you want something serious with this guy" Natie said and I visibly cringe

"No way, stop be absurd"

"No you are the one who should just come clean and tell us-" Natie started saying before I cut her off

"Is this the help you guys were talk about!" I screamed shutting them angrily "if this is the so called help then I'm not interested since it getting on my nerves"

"The thing is that you have to be honest with yourself, with the things you've said and the way you've been acting, it clearly shows that you want something with this guy. All you have to do is admit it then maybe things won't be so hard for you anymore" Mai said and I felt rage pulsing through my veins... no, I want nothing with this guy and that is final

""You know what, I think this would be the end of this talk, I want nothing to do with this guy and if you guys can't see that then maybe you all should just get out" I said standing up and showing them the way to the door

"Would you just calm the fuck down!" Ryan shouted at me and I was shocked

""All we are trying to do here is help okay? So calm the fuck down and get back to your seat!" Ryan said with so much authority that I had no choice but to just sit down.

Feeling dejected I said, "guys, the thing is that I have been like this for a while now so you just pinning everything on just one thing is making me furious"

"Yeah we know you've like this for a while now and we all know it's because of your mom's death, but this..." Natie said and it felt really weird, how is my mom connected to this?

"Excuse you? How is this related to mom's death, it been years since she died so I don't understand how is she the cause of all this?"

"Did you even remember that her anniversary was three weeks ago?" and I would be lying if I said I did... very unusual of me to be honest

"You see? If you had then you would have understood the fact that at this time of the year you are always extra moody" Mia wasn't wrong when she said this, truly at this time of the year, I am always so moody. And now connecting the dots I guess that's why I've angry most times for the past weeks... before Adrian showed up.

"We would have brought it up really, but then since it's such a sensitive topic we decided not to, thinking you just decided to heal on your own" Natie said as if she was feeling guilty

"And here I was thinking I was feeling weird because I wasn't being a bitch enough" I said coming clean with my emotions

"I said it!" Ryan said "I knew you were being an extra bitch but I thought it was just you implementing your defense mechanism since you love exerting your pain on people"

"Now the question here is, why are you still being so stuck up, to the extent that you would fuck up your test?" Mia questioned me and I gave it a thought

Then it hit me, if I'm like this then it can't be because of anything other than..

"I think it's because I've not gotten even with the people I need to get even with" I said feeling satisfied

This is it, this is exactly what I needed. Why didn't I think of this before? If I had then maybe I wouldn't be so stuck up and by now I would be so satisfied with myself.

"Then I think you should get even with them then because personally I'm tired of seeing a stuck up Olivia" Ryan said showing that she is satisfied with the fact that I have found the answer to my problem which she showed by lying down on the bed and taking a very deep breath.

"It irks me to the extent of wanting to punch a wall" Mia said and I was shocked since she is like the most reserved of us all.

After like a minute of silence it hit me that there is a huge problem that I was not aware of.

"Now the problem is that I know the people I want to get even with but I don't know them at the same time" I said looking everywhere but them since I was trying to analyze what their reaction would be

"Hmmm? Anyone understand that?" Natie asked facing Ryan and Miavwhich shocked me since that wasn't what I was expecting.

"Sorry could you please come again in English because I don't understand Chinese" Ryan said and I almost laughed - almost - but all I did was smile

"I'm saying I know the people I want to even with but I don't know their face, name or department, like nothing" I said trying to explain myself but it was proving futile

"But that means you don't know them at all!" Natie exclaimed and really, in a way she is right.

"She means she knows those people, like their significance but she doesn't know their personal information right?" Mia said looking at me for acknowledgement which I gave her. and at this moment, I can't be more happy I have her in my life

"For example, the cheating hoe of a girlfriend, the guy she cheated with and Adrian himself" I said and they all nodded giving their approval and showing that they now understand what I was trying to say.

"But wait, why the guy she cheated with?" Mia asked

"Because in one way or the other, he was involved in all this" I said matter of fact

"Well it's settled then, we are getting even with those a-holes." Ryan said stating the final.