27 Sentimental Attachment

"Forget it," I said at last, "I can't do it."

I rose from the seat, straightening my skirt. I melancholy gazed at the grand piano. Then, I started off to the exit, my heels clicking on the unpolished marble and echoing in the space. Upon taking a final glance at the instrument, it appeared desolate within all the empty space. The piano was, once again, abandoned in the ballroom.

I envisioned a lively ball with the percussion instrument singing its distinct sound. There would be joyous dancing, and the gentlemen would bow before their partner of choice. When the music began, they would take their lady and lead the waltz. That is what I imagined balls to be like. The academy debutante surely met its visual expectations, but the experience was lacking.

Teresa followed behind me, gently closing the ginormous double doors as we departed. The action locked away the imaginary ball I saw within the confines of its walls. She was eerily quiet about my abrupt change of mind. Whenever she became like this, I knew she was restraining herself from giving any of her input.

I take it Elisabeth has groomed her to be this way, to refrain from speaking out her thoughts. Teresa's role as my right-hand maid also interferes with her ability to share what she wished to. It's clear she wants to nag at me for every little thing I do, but she has been scolded so many times that she doesn't bother to save herself from punishment.

I paused and focused my evergreen eyes on her. I followed that with the rise of one of my eyebrows. "Do you have something to say?"

The unexpected question didn't impede her answer. "No, not at all," she hastily responded, shaking her head.

Alright, so she's not going to tell me what she's thinking. At least, I know what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that I'm just some wimp that can't leave what's in the past in the past. As a kid, I didn't have a choice about whether or not I was going to play the piano. Initially, I thought it was fun. Learning the notes was simple, and I was still a little girl, oblivious to the real stress and anxiety that awaited me.

I do have many regrets, but I'd like to not think about them. Because if I do, I'll never be able to sleep without wanting to hit myself for everything stupid I did. Thoughts like "I could have done this" or "I could have done that" would bombard me and make me wish I had never let the idea trickle into my mind.

Classes had ended for the day, and Teresa and I were meandering the halls. Elisabeth may have attended this academy for nearly twelve years, but I haven't. Before I am expelled, I want to at least take the opportunity to say I walked through every single hall and know exactly where each room is. There's the chance I won't be dismissed from the academy's enrolling students. On the other hand, how likely is that? I am one person attempting to shove all this foreign information into my brain. The shoving part is simple, but the retaining portion is not.

"My Lady, the crown prince is up ahead. Do you want to take another route?" Teresa suggested, subtly moving her hand towards his direction. The royal happened to be speaking to Viktoria.

I have no idea what argument they had at the debutante, but it seems like that has been resolved.

To my dismay, the crown prince's face was scrunched up in agitation. He was storming toward our direction, so I made the choice of making a slight turn into another hallway to avoid him. I heard him say something to another student, so I exhaled. Unfortunately, the moment I looked to my side, the royal and I caught eye contact, and that's when I knew I couldn't escape. Strangely, his facial expression relaxed when he laid his eyes on me. The mere motion made me uncomfortable. Regardless, Teresa and I dipped into curtsies.

"Lady Carabell, these few days...where have you been staying?" he questioned me, his arms crossed.

I frowned upon hearing what he said. "Why does it matter where I'm staying? It's none of your business." Teresa jabbed me in my rib, and I sent her a glare in response.

"You can't stay at an inn forever. If other nobles find out, they'll never let you have the end of it," the crown prince reminded me.

The fact that he knew about me staying at an inn made me sigh again. "They never let me have the end of anything. There's no point in trying to appease those who will only ever see my faults," I told him. "Let's be reasonable. You're only warning me about this because you're concerned about your reputation, not mine."

Prince Caydel didn't hesitate to admit it. "Yes, you're absolutely right." I appreciated his honesty, but I still gave him a scowl. "Nonetheless, I've arranged for one of the Whitensen mansions to house you for the meantime. Everything will be provided, and there will be no bias within the property."

My irritation deepened. "No, that's not necessary, your highness."

The crown prince ignored what I said. "Lord Carabell is home, isn't he? Shame, is it?" He leaned towards me and inspected my face for any sign of change. I was a bit conscious of how much he was staring at me, a habit perhaps.

Garrod, you asshole, it must be you telling him these things. How else would he know? I haven't gotten a chance to confront you about it. Mark my words, I will.

I directed my line of sight to a pillar and focused my eyes on any sign of movement.

Could that motherfucker be standing there right now?

There was a flash of red, and I noticed a dark figure peering at us from behind the structure. The demonic knight gave me a lazy salute. I flared up with rage. If the crown prince knew he was there, he was entirely unbothered by him.

You…!

I pretended as if I didn't want to murder him from here. "No, why would it be a shame if the lord has returned?" I snapped. "He's my brother. Should I not be happy? I have not seen him for years."

The remark made him scoff. "Huh, really? That's a bit out of character for you. I expected something...passionately frustrated," he said thoughtfully. Teresa and I listened to him as he continued to rant about me right in front of my face. "You would maybe make a snarky remark or two. Then, you would try to warm up to me. Every single thing you did had infuriated me to no end."

"So, I am not infuriating you now? What a shame, your highness," I told him with immense sarcasm. Teresa jabbed me in the rib for a second time, and I wanted to jab her back with even more force.

I know he's our future king but cut me some slack. This girl is planning on moving out the moment she has a chance. I just need to sell all of my dresses and accessories without Teresa noticing.

"No, you are not infuriating me. That's why I have no issues inviting you to stay at my mansion. Teresa will also be accommodated there. I have ordered my guards to pick up your belongings at your inn and relocate them to the mansion. I have a separate carriage prepared for you outside the academy right now. You don't have to worry about sitting next to me."

"I think that's something that benefits you."

"Exactly."

I furrowed my eyebrows, placing my hands on my hips. "So, you're telling me that you've taken my personal items and just brought them to your mansion without even asking me?"

"Does it seem like you're willing to stay?"

"No."

"See, I was thinking ahead. If you want the absolute truth, these are not my orders. These are orders coming from the king. He has eyes and ears everywhere. As your fiancé, I am supposed to care for you," the crown prince informed me.

"So if I don't feel like I'm being treated well, I can just go to his majesty and complain?" I questioned him.

He paused and let a sneer spread across his face. "Yes, of course. You've always complained to the king. I'm surprised you haven't taken advantage of your connection with him. I never understood why he adored you so much."

Adored? Did I hear that correctly? Who in their right mind would treasure Elisabeth after all the cruel things she has done to everyone around her?

"Why are you acting as if you didn't know? You know his majesty loves you," Prince Caydel told me with a hint of suspicion. "I will be heading to the mansion. If you ever feel unsafe, just know that the Red Demon Knight has a loyalty to you as your personal bodyguard."

"About that...I could just not go to this mansion with you," I told him.

"Yes, but then how are you going to retrieve your items?" My mouth dropped, and Teresa poked me to close it. "I will see you later." He flashed a smile that looked more like a mocking grin.

A thought lit up in my mind.

Or, I'll abandon them and just continue staying at the inn while secretly selling away every article I am currently wearing. If you tell people that they came from a noble, it's worth ten times the price. I have no idea why the regular people of Whitensen like clothing worn by nobles so much.

Before I could suggest this to my maid, I remembered that Prince Caydel also has our debutante gowns.

- The day after the debutante -

I wanted to suggest selling our dresses to the market so we could pocket the money and save it towards purchasing a small house just outside the capital.

However, my maid couldn't believe what I had just said. "No, we are not going to sell the ballgowns," she told me vehemently. "They were gifted to us by the madam."

"That doesn't mean a single thing to me. We can put the profits towards my own home. The gowns could pay for all of us for some time. Then, we wouldn't have to worry about paying the innkeeper. I didn't bring any of our money to the debutante, and I didn't have the chance to retrieve it from the Carabell Estate either," I argued.

She clutched the hangers they were draping down from. I was about to reach out to take the golden one I wore, but she jerked it away from my grasp. "We will not," Teresa firmly told me, a fire burning in her eyes.

"I really don't understand why you're so attached to them. I can give you plenty of other dresses when we've settled down somewhere," I tried to reason. This didn't waver her standing. Instead, she held both gowns tighter.

"They're precious to me, my lady. This blue tulle gown was the dress I wore for my first ever ball, and this shimmering golden gown was your first gift from the duchess."

I understood why Teresa wanted to keep her dress, but there was no way I was going to keep the one I wore for the debutante. I couldn't care less about the duchess's gifts. She didn't hesitate to tell me how much she hated me when we first met. Besides, she is not my actual mother. I have no attachment to a woman who only thinks of me when her favorite maid shows up to ask for favors. I've heard what they say about my relationship with Duchess Carabell. I know that she doesn't want to see her own daughter's face nor recall her daughter's name. I'm not so object-oriented to warm up to her just because she gave me a luxurious dress.

"Please, you must realize the sentimental value they have!"

Sentimental, my ass. You can keep your gown. I'm selling mine.