Not dead yet

Groggily, Phineas opened his eyes. "*Gah!* Bright-" he cried out, screwing his eyes shut against the brilliant sunlight. He must have gotten sick and overslept—how else to explain such a terrible dream, and waking up to sunlight pouring into the bedroom he shared with Annabeth? "Just a dream then. *Sigh* What a relief- it would tear my heart to pieces if I woke up at the trumpet call to find out that Beth really did kill me and had never been faithful," Phineas was relieved. It was like a mountain had been lifted from his heart. 'Lord forgive me for having such suspicions toward my wife- even if they were unconscious ones. Love is trust, and for me to doubt her like that means a lack of love. So forgive me, Father. Amen,' Phineas prayed, removing the last weight from his heart, as he stretched and inhaled deeply through his nose.

Lush, shaggy grasses caressed his bare skin, and the scent of a forest glade on a hot summer's day filled his nose. Then a gently breeze drifted across his skin, carrying the scent of water and the sounds of a small brook burbling peacefully. A sultry heat was in the air, right alongside the sound of cicadas and birdsong. Phineas smiled, becoming nostalgic; he used to love napping in the back pasture at his grandparents' farm when he spent the summers there growing up. And this was just like waking up after one of those naps in the shade of the trees near the small pond with its artificial creek. For the first time in a few years, his back and knees didn't feel stiff and he felt powerful brimming with vitality, like he'd suddenly shed the last fifteen or so years and returned to his twenties. What a wonderful day this was and he had only just woken up. The only thing wrong with it was the grass making his butt itch!

O_O

'WAIT A MINUTE- WHAT!!!???'

Phineas' eyes snapped open and he shot up- and up… and up, and up- a good ten feet into the air, tumbling head over heels. Stunned, Phineas blinked in confusion as a verdant meadow surrounded by a forest of beautiful trees spun over a perfect cornflower blue sky without a cloud in sight and a big yellow sun off to one side, halfway between the horizon and its peak. Everything was impossibly clear, and vibrant with details incredibly sharp, the colors of everything so saturated that it should be dripping color. Despite the position of the sun, it was brighter than noon-day.

As the ground rushed up to meet him, Phineas went utterly limp except for covering his face with his forearms. When he slammed into the ground, he had his eyes clenched shut in preparation for the pain and the rolling… That didn't come. Well, the rolling did- nearly three times as much of that as he was expecting. So much in fact that he would have kept rolling if he hadn't hit something. Though again there was oddly no pain- just the feeling of an impact and the jolt that should accompany hitting something solid. From the sound of it, he hit a tree, and hit it REALLY hard too. Yet there was no pain? What is going on here?

Since he was now in the shade, and laying on his side, Phineas opened his eyes to see just how far he'd come. What he saw astonished him. There were at least four big dents in the ground, each one around fifteen or twenty feet apart; he had been nearly under the trees on the other side of the meadow, yet in the act of trying to bolt upright into a sitting position to look around, he had been launched ten feet up and nearly a hundred feet horizontally. And would have gone further if not for the tree he'd hit. Bark from which lay all around him, and branches and leaves were raining down. Even more surprising however, was the fact that it didn't even hurt; it had been like getting hit by a soft and fluffy pillow. The scent of tree sap and crushed grasses and flowers was pleasant, his brain noted absently.

Carefully, Phineas slowly- ever so slowly- began to put strength into the muscles needed for him to get up. At first, he barely put any strength into it, but gradually increased his strength until he was moving at a slightly less than normal speed. It took so little actual strength for him to move that it was as if he were around 20 times as strong as he had been before. Though, even as he marveled at his newfound power and carefully moved to stand, Phineas was still able to take a good look at himself.

What he saw stunned him yet again, and made him wonder: what kind of drugs he was on right now!?