7 What am i going to do now??
This question is subtle but very powerful. Everyone would have came across this very question in their life, for me it depicts the perfect lost state i am in and what the heck am i going to do with my so called life and how am i going to come out of this mess and become financially independent women.
My roadmap was very simple,
1. Take education loan,
2. Study B.E,
3. Get selected in any IT MNC and pay off the loan. That's it!! but the prerequisite list is as follows
1. I need some money for entrance classes & exam - Check. Managed it from my saving which i was keeping from childhood.
2. Some one has to take me to counseling which is happening in another city.[Miraculous my dad has to agree to it]
3. All the loan process. [ No idea about the steps , but it is the first time any one in my family going to apply and it is going to be a long process]
4. Most important of all ' I NEED TO CONVINCE MY FATHER AND GET HIS PERMISSION TO ALLOW ME TO STUDY ENGINEERING đ«' because the college could be in different city and co-ed as well, Knowing him it will be a definite NO.
Least i expected, that not only my father needs convincing, but also i need to convince my whole Family. To be frank i was shocked to see even my mom and sisters were against me ( Great!! now my whole family is united in their opinion but its against ME đđ)
My sister's reason to go against my wish was she just now completed her bachelor degree in Arts and Science college ( of course its women's college and it is under the same management as my school). So i am expected to go in the same track, but since i am laying out a different plan she got a bit jealous. Additional she wanted to do her second degree in another city, if i take up BE then she was afraid that she might not get enough monetary support from family. She even convinced my mom that i should not be allowed to take BE, if so then it will be nothing but to show partiality among her daughters. My sister had this absolute quality of pulling others to her side by inducing guilty feelings, and my mom will always and perfectly fall for that .
I was like "WHAT THE HECK?"
I tried to convince them stating that i will apply loan to cover my whole education fees and i will take responsibility of paying it back every single paise after getting a job. But Nope they were not convinced.
As a result my whole family was not talking to me at all, and even my mom was ignoring me. I felt completely lonely, it was embarrassing to tell this to friends so i kept it all to myself. For the whole 2 - 3 months i was either crying or angry, these were the only two emotions i can express at that time. It was so hurting that even my mom was against me.
Till that point in my life, it was the most painful, stressful 3 months. The engineering entrance results came in and i was waiting for counseling date. All i could do was pray my hearts out and hoped things will fall into right places. Even i remember drawing the symbol of god( Shiva lingam) for around 108000 times continuously for many days and just kept asking for help . Since i had full of hurdles, as a back up plan i joined the same arts and science college. Somehow if i crossed all the hurdles then i can discontinue from this college or else i can continue in the same.
I attended this college for around 1 month before my engineering counseling date, but it was the only thing that kept me sane during that difficult time.
