2 The Father figure

My father was an iron tools business man and my mom a house wife and we are 3 girls. I am the middle child. You know the life of a middle child is very difficult, no one will ever take your opinion serious, u are always expected to follow the elder sibling's path, constantly compared with and also u are expected to act responsible for your younger sibling. We cant be a kid and at the same time we cant be a grownup. ooofh pretty confusing about the role you need to play in the family but its fine you got a lifetime to get used to it. We were a perfectly normal and happy family with loving parents. At least that's what i thought.

Every day before going to sleep, my father drink some alcohol in home, i have been told it is like a medicine due to the heavy work he does with iron tools and all and it is for medicinal purpose which will reduce body pain and tiredness. Some days his mood will be terrible after coming back from work especially loading work and even my mom wont dare to go near him or talk to him and during these days. The amount of alcohol intake will be more than usual during these days.

Well it all seems to be normal and logical for me, because he is working very hard for us. But When this "suppose to be medicine" liquid intake got increased day by day and when you became addicted to it, till the level of being under its influence for 24 hours a days and through out the week, it TERRIBLE.

With each passing day along with his alcohol addiction, his temper and violent behavior became uncontrollable. At some point he even stopped going to work and ask his subordinates to take care of the whole business. Not only he started fighting with my mom but even with our relatives , neighbors and any random person on the road as well ( all for silly reasons). It was very stressful, embarrassing for a 10 years old kid, you can do nothing but cry and try to process the changes around you in which you miserably fail. The father figure whom you imagined as a super hero and righteous one once in your mind, is very different now and you have no idea why he is behaving like this all of a sudden. Still i want to find some excuse for my father's behavior to convince myself and others that he is still a really good guy, but with each passing day it was becoming near to impossible.

When one of our neighbor died under mysterious circumstances, with whom my father fought couple of days back it became bad. And to make it worse he started bragging that he killed that person to show off his power😓, i mean, come on for god sake !!! who will say that for bragging. Its terrible. it made the situation around my house very dangerous, we had to stay in our Grandfather's house for few days till things get cooled off.

Truly that neighbor committed sucide due to some loss in his business and cops closed the case with enough evidence. But my fathers behavior at this dire event and the complex situation he put everyone through ( i mean how would the dead person's family members would have felt during this situation 😨) made me realize that he is not the great person once i thought about him.

Father is always a great inspiration, and support system for any child especially girl child, but when you understand he is not your superhero it definitely breaks your heart and makes your future dark and hopeless , even though my near future is to only pass my primary school exams.

Before my primary school is over, we had to change house again, none of our neighbors liked us here ( same patter continued in new neighborhood as well), none of our relatives were in contact with us ( even though they wanted to, my father made sure they are humiliated so that they will not come back again) and more than all, we are officially and completely broke with no income ( the subordinates of my father, whom he asked to take care of business did took care of it as their OWN , literally).